Drudgery Report #9

Clicking through ads on the Drudge Report

would be drudgery.

"Some will say I am too focused on the wars we are in
today and not enough on the wars we will be in tomorrow.
Believe me, it's my job to be focused on wars now and
forevermore."

Does everybody project, or is it just rightbloggers
and operators of opto-mechanical devices for
displaying moving pictures?

Ex-Peru President Alberto Fujimori Sentenced
to 25 Years in Prison for Professing Dick Cheney
as His Personal Savior

Republican Whip and Mi Bebé Masoquista
Very Copasetic

Man Kiting a Check

Man Checking a Kite

Inventor of Motorized Barstool Threatens to Sue

GM and Segway for Patent Infringement

Yeah, a Butter Knife, Used to Spread Another $534 Billion

on the Military, $21 Billion More Than Last Year

"Art prices plunged 35% during the first quarter of the year as
cash-strapped collectors looked to unload works by postwar
masters that had earlier boomed in price along with the
stock market."

These primates are wondering why Ann
Althouse's wedding is getting so much
attention and theirs isn't.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #28
Frank Gaffney

Newt Gingrich is the perfect metaphor for today's Republican
Party. He's white. He's male. He's old. He's jowly. He's scowly.

He hasn't had a new idea since 1994. And his given name is

what you call a lizard-like creature that spends most of its

adult life under water.

Contrary to what you might think, squirrels have
ways of keeping up with the impending Obama
Administration gun grab.

Scene from the Annual Knob Job Machine Gun
Shoot and Crank Yank in Louisville, Kentucky

"Did you know my mouth is the terminus a quo of my
gut whose terminus ad quem--thirty feet down my
alimentary canal--is my anus?"

"It may sound insensitive to say this, but the faces of
some terrorists are simply too ugly to behold."

If you find the idea of being buried after you die
rather off-putting, you might be interested in a
short course the Chinese have developed, called
'Interment Therapy'.

Although you can't see them very clearly from where you're
sitting, these Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus
Aureus bacteria have become extremely paranoid,
convinced that doctors, public health officials, and
the Obama Administration have joined in a sinister
conspiracy to prevent them from eating human flesh.
As the saying goes, "Just because you're paranoid
doesn't mean they're not out to get you!"

Reminder That Johnny Doesn't
Always Come Marching Home

Firing 75 rounds from a fully-automatic AK-47 into
junker cars will cost you about $120. But you have
to admit the results are impressive!

Listening to rightbloggers talk, you get the impression that
Richard Poplawski was a sociopath whose fear of an Obama
gun grab was not fueled by the Glenn Becks, Alex Joneses,
and Wayne LaPierres of the world. Furthermore, his fear
of an Obama gun grab had nothing to do with his decision
to kill cops. It was just a matter of a mama's boy who went
postal when the topic of canine urine marking came up
over morning coffee.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #27
Alex Jones

North Korea Launches Kim Jong-il into Orbit,
Joins Civilized World

Japan Aims for Walking Robot

on the Moon by 2020

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #26

Wayne LaPierre

"Who cares Land Shark Lager is on sale this week!
Do we look like parrotheads, dumbass?"

"The only way to make millions," says Rush Limbaugh,
"is for half the nation to hate you." Well, friends and
neighbors, that strategy has certainly worked for him
and there's no reason it can't work for you, too.

The Three Sturgeons: Dubya, Walnuts, and Barracuda

"Look sharp!
Feel sharp!
Be sharp!
And listen mister
'How are you fixed for blades?'"

Aging Rodent Gnawing into House of Dodd

Richard Poplawski: Bitter Clinger,
Glennbecker, Cop Killer

Obama Hails 5,000 More NATO Forces for Afghanistan;
"Hope Comes Through the Barrel of a Gun," He Says

World's Worst Jobs #93
Chinese Cement Plant Worker

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #25
Richard Burr

Mike Tyson, Man of Steele

We live in such an unhinged world that the First Lady
of the United States cannot hug children in London,
England, without five Secret Service agents hovering
over her.

Rush Limbaugh in Cinerama

Levi Johnston Chosen to Play Major Role in
New Fox Network Soap Opera, Palin Place

What sets champion cliche users apart is their ability
to write 'dial back', 'walk back' and 'push back',
simultaneously.

Larry Summers, director of the White House National
Economic Council, received $2.77 million in 2008 for
giving about 40 speeches, mostly to Wall Streeters.
That's about $69,000 per speech. Incidentally, you
didn't know it, but you have been charged for the
privilege of looking at this picture of him giving
one of those speeches. Your invoice is already
in the mail.

Those who knew her well said she was a ticking time bomb.

Ladies En Route to One of Erick Erickson's
'Rinso Party' Protests

Survivors of South Carolina Man Learn That
Procrustes Worked at the Cave Funeral Home

Representative Anh Cao (R-LA) promised to be
an 'independent' voice in Congress. Here's how
that has worked out: first, say you're inclined to
vote for the stimulus bill and the President's
budget, then, second, at the last minute, vote
in lockstep with your party against them.
Now that's independence we can believe in!

World's Worst Yobs #88
Bill Hemmer

Minnie Mouse Shortly Before She Received a Pink Slip
from Disney World; "Mickey Will More Than Satisfy
Our Mouse Needs During These Rough Economic
Times," Park Managers Said

"Will mass shootings in the United States end any time soon?"
someone has asked. What a naive question! Whoever asked it
obviously doesn't understand America's longstanding and
well-established 'gun culture'. Gun ownership in the USA
isn't an accidental freak of nature; it's a religion. And your
best chance of surviving this destructive immortality
ideology is, quite simply, to not be in the wrong place at the
wrong time--like, say, Binghamton, New York, at the
American Civic Association, on April 3, 2009.

"Is Michelle the New Oprah?" Tina Brown
asks. Could've been worse. The proprietor
of The Daily Beast could've asked,
"Is Michelle the New Tina?"

For her supporting role at the G20 Summit in London,
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton certainly deserves
a thumbs up, don't you think?