Friday, August 07, 2009

Today's town hall mobs are the offspring of
the marriage of knaves who lie and fools
who believe them.
Sarah Palin Says Hypnotoad Will Be Euthanized by
'Death Panel' If Health Care System Is Reformed
[Click Image If You Dare!]
"Fools' names, like fools' faces,
Are often seen in public places."
Toxicology tests show Billy Mays had alcohol,
cocaine, hydrocodone, oxycodone, tramadol,
alprazolam, and diazepam in his body at the
time of his death. Oddly, not found in his body
were either OxiClean or Orange Glo.
When Scrapbooking Therapy Fails
"See me, feel me, touch me, heal me."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #65
Andy Martin
Like to count? If so, count the number of African-Americans,
Mexican-Americans, and Asian-Americans you see in this
picture of an anti-health-care reform protest in Raleigh,
North Carolina.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #8
Pamela Geller and Gerard Van der Leun
Glenn Beck had intended to poison Nancy Pelosi's wine,
but she poisoned his Enfamil first.
World's Worst Yobs #118
Tim Phillips

Thursday, August 06, 2009

"Dick Cheney, I'll never forget what you did on
behalf of the Mandrill Liberation Front! May
you live forever!"
For some reason, 'From Blunt to Sessions to Vitter'
never quite had the cachet as 'From Tinker to Evers
to Chance'.
And then there's David Miscavige, the Big Enchilada of
today's Church of Scientology, who makes L. Ron Hubbard
and Dianetics sound like the second coming of Plato and
his immortal dialogues.
The Day Bambi Got Tasered
When will those who Twitter come to their senses and realize
that a 140-word-limit is much too long? Fearguth is looking
forward to the day when the attention span of the American
people will be so short that a one-word caption to a photo
of Dean Esmay being nuzzled by Z, his pet ferret, will be
considered the height of verbosity.
Sure, deploying the Green Lantern to Afghanistan won't
come cheap, but since American taxpayers will already
spend $65 billion over there this year alone, probably
no one will notice.
The story out of Washington is that only 'a handful of
Republicans' voted to confirm Sonia Sotomayor as a
Supreme Court Justice. If you're having a hard time
imagining 'a handful of Republicans', perhaps this
photograph will help.
"And if you are among the first 500 to subscribe
today, we'll
include a 2-lb. tank of laughing gas and
a balloon with Megan McArdle's picture on it-----
ABSOLUTELY FREE!"

The Unexpurgated Bible #23
"But of the Tree of Cigna
, thou shalt not eat of it: for in
the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."

Two Nuts

Two More Nuts
Word on the street is that zombies have been
moonlighting as teabaggers, and vice versa.
Been waiting for a worthy cause you could
really put your heart into?
Young America's Foundation spokesman Jason
Mattera says his favorite song is 'I Could Always
Eat Your Brain'.
George Paz, Chairman and CEO of Express Scripts,
has sent an email to all his employees, encouraging
them to oppose health care reform. That's not at all
surprising, given the fact that his total compensation
in 2008 was $12,774,367. If you were making that kind
of dough, would you want to change the status quo?
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #64
Todd Akin
Think of how much health care Cigna had to
deny its customers in order to pay $12,236,740
in 2008 to its CEO, H. Edward Hanway.
Former U. S. Representative William Jefferson (D-LA)
has been convicted on 11 counts of defacing $90,000 in
US currency by keeping it frozen beyond the use-by date.
Did you hear the story about the clown
who ate the canary?
Stop laughing at the way Donald Kagan looks!
You'd look the same way if you were a
neoconservative and your children were
named Frederick, Robert, and Kimberly.
Having lost the ratings battle with Two Dudes
and a Webcam, Mouthpiece Theater has been
cancelled. Asked to comment on this hard-
earned reversal of fortune, Dana Milbank said,
"It's a brutal world out there in the blogosphere.
I'm
often surprised by the ferocity out there, but
I probably shouldn't be."

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Two thousand years later, first-century Birthers
were still demanding to see the long form of the
Son of God's birth certificate.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #7
Pat Toomey
Is it live, or is it Charlie Crist?
"I guess he wasn't kidding when he said his
head was about to explode."
If there is such a thing as an ultimate nightmare, it might
be this: Jay Bybee, a federal judge dressed as a clown on
the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit,
torturing you by driving a tenpenny nail into your
funnybone.
When you look upon the visage of what some percipient observer has called a 'stone-faced Okie gargoyle', you understand why some argue that Oklahoma would have been better off had it remained Indian Territory forever.
When he stands next to Bo Derek, Representative Ted
Poe (R-TX) imagines he's Tarzan and she thinks he's
Cheeta.
"Happy to meet you, Congressman Paul! I'm Jamie
Kirchick, Marty Peretz's bitch."
"But if we’re going to pay 700 million dollars like we
voted last Friday to put condoms on wild horses,
and I know it just says an un-permanent enhanced
contraception whatever the heck that is. I guess it
follows that they’ll eventually get around to
doing it to us down here in Tyler, Texas."
Marc Ambinder has been as successful defending GOP
astroturfing as he was putting lipstick on this pig
last Sunday.
Tea Shirt to Be Worn While Disrupting
Health-Care Town Halls
World's Worst Yobs #117
Peter Berkowitz
Orly, Orly, Oxen Free!
Now that he has persuaded North Korea to trade
two journalists for John Bolton and Michael Barone,
will Bill Clinton be able to persuade Iran to trade
three backpackers for Lou Dobbs, Glenn Beck and
Rush Limbaugh?
"This is CNN, the Cowards' News Network."

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Joker fans agree: Capitalist Jokers are much scarier than
Socialist Jokers.
North Korean Leader Kim Jong-il Issues a 'Special
Pardon' for Two American Journalists at the Request
of Former US President Bill Clinton; Neocons Blast
the Obama Administration for Wasting Yet Another
Opportunity to Bomb North Korea Back Before the
Neolithic Age to the Paleolithic Age