"You gotta understand, boys, that there's a big difference

between actors, like us, getting paid to pretend to be
West Virginia hicks and real West Virginia hicks who

do it for nuthin' ." 

"Terrell's Siding is guaranteed to be born again and

will keep your home 100% socialism-free."

Oxymorons for Our Time #67

Gun-Free Zone

Americans Slipping into Cacatonia,

Scatologists Say

Al Capone Does the Republicans One Better

If you see that your neighbor's house is on fire,

don't call the fire department.  Call Katherine

Mangu-Ward, instead, and invite her over to
roast some Libertarian chestnuts on an open fire.

"Todd, is my ass on the line yet?"
"Yes, Sarah, he's on the line now."

"Hello, Sarah, remember me?"

Magical Depressionism #13

Drop in Crime Rate Forces Justice League Layoffs

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #37
Commandante Wurzelbacher, He Wolf of the Puppy Mills

World's Worst Jobs #114

Being No. 3 Man in Al-Qaida

Warm Scuzzies #115

Randy Michaels

Greedheads Galore #2

Sam Zell

Whitman Ups Bid for California Governorship to $140 Million;

 Reserve Price Still Not Met

Is all this Bed Buggy talk just a bunch of fear-mongering?

Rude Rhymes #30



 Bathtub Ring

Peter King

 Uncle Scrooge

Aunt Pinchpenny

Unprovoked, the little girl in the yellow

glasses said, "Don't Treadmill on Me,"

and then laughed gently.

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #77

Jim Hoft, Dick Morris, and Roy Blunt

"Pardon me, sir, but are you Glenn Harlan Beauregard

Cletus T. Cornpone Reynolds?"

CNN's Parker-Spitzer Show Goes Up in Flames,

Fox Network's Ayn Rand Memorial Fire Department

Tries to Put Out Fire with Gasoline 

Of all the many 'gaps' Americans have faced over

 the years---the Missile Gap, the Generation Gap,

the Mineshaft Gap, the Enthusiasm Gap, the

Income Gap, and the Gender Gap---none is 
 more ominous than today's Gap Kids Gap.

"My skinny little Indian friend from Louisiana and I agree

that it's time for America to stop talking about 'Elections'

and start talking about 'Auctions', or even better, about

'Buy It Now!'"

If you want access to Christine O'Donnell's 'Classified
 Information' regarding 'China's Takeover of the United
States', please enter the coupon code 'OZOB' at checkout.

Before the Americans came, auto theft had been a major

problem in Baghdad.  Now--Allah be praised!-- it wasn't.

If Joe Miller, Sharron Angle, Rand Paul, and Christine
O'Donnell get elected to the United States Senate, the World's
Greatest Deliberative Body® will become even more what it
aready is: a joke without a punchline.

"I am she as you are she as you are me
and we are all together.

See how they run like pigs from a gun,
see how they fly.

I'm crying."

Melons in the Summer, Pumpkins in the Fall

As Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi has said,

"Women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray,

corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which

increases earthquakes."

"Joe Miller lays his wife off from his staff, she
starts drawing unemployment insurance, and

he secedes from her for being unconstitutional:

is that what you're telling me?"

Feeling undereducated? Eyeing David Plouffe with

envy? Wanting to see politics from the bottom up?

Aching to get down and dirty with the body politic?

If so, you sound like someone George Washington

University has in mind for its new Online Master's

Degree in Political Management.

Welcome to South Fulton, Home of the
Compassionate Conservative Fire Department

NATO Deploys New Solar-Powered APCs to Afghanistan

U.S. Military 'Goes Green', Orders Less Dependence

on Fossil Fuels in Afghanistan

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #76

Kathleen Parker and Eliot Spitzer

"By the time I get to Phoenix she'll be rising
She'll find the note I left hangin' on her door
She'll laugh when she reads the part that says I'm leavin'
'Cause I've left that girl so many times before."

The Potrzebie Prize #11

James O'Keefe Heaped with Accolades for

Practicing Safe Sex in Seduction Fantasy

Shagadelic Carpet Stalking the Wild Asparagus

Oxymorons for Our Time #66

Project Veritas

"Senator DeMint, Sharron Angle says she has

'juice' with you.  Is this why she affectionately
refers to you as the 'Smoothie King'?"

Warm Scuzzies #114

Judge Jack T. Camp

"I am NOT a 'word that rhymes with bitch'!"

"Who cares what Larry Kudlow thinks, Karl? 

Give me a big ol' holy kiss!"

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #231

David Bradley

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #69

Theo Spark

When he's not bulldogging, Jorge enjoys listening to

Andrew Sullivan argue about religion.

'God' is a word that does not appear in the Constitution

of the United States.  In other words, God is, strictly

constructed and construed, unconstitutional.

Teenage Mutant Ninja

Turtle Mutant