Republican John Ensign Won't Seek Reelection‎, Says, "At This

Point in My Life, I Have to Put Alvin and the Chipmunks First"

"Not as Libertarian as Zalman King's Red Shoe Diaries,

But Much More Erotic," Says Reason Magazine

Hucksterbuckabee in Griftopia

Planets of the Japes

"Who ordered the Rastafarian-on-a-Stick?"

Where Popcorn, Indiana® Is Made

"Mike, not Ike!  As Cleon taught us, Ike was a Socialist,

maybe even a Communist!"

Mike Huckabee worships a Southern Baptist god, a god

 who once commanded, "Now go and smite Amalek, and

utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but

slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and

sheep, camel and ass."

Jaws of Defeat

Tiger Discovers It Has 'Sheen Blood', Decides to Drown Itself

Defense Secretary Gates Apologizes, Says Mistaken Killing

of Nine Afghan Boys "Has Really Set Them Back"

NASA Rocket Suffers Projectile Dysfunction, Falls into Sea

What to Eat If You Start to Feel a Bit Beckish

Michele Bachmann Celebrates National Piehole Day

If Jennifer Rubin disappeared entirely from

the environs of the Washington Post, would

anyone, except Fred Hiatt, notice?

Metaphor Mixology #2

Gangster Government Cartel Makes Businesses Go

Begging with Their Hands Out for Peace Offerings

"We are in the process of watching," says Michele Bachmann, 

"the deconstruction of free market economists before our very

 eyes, something we have never seen before."

Madman Says U.S. Should Stay 'Involved' in Afghanistan

Until 2014 and Beyond

Gomer, Goober, & Hicks, Attorneys at Law

"Oh! My! God!  It's actually just a clip,

but he imagines it's his tallywhacker!

And a black one, at that!"

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

The Boy Who Cried Fox

"Senator Haridopolos, J. K. Rowling is reportedly extremely

vexed by the fact that your book, Florida Legislative History

 and Process,  made 61,000 times more, on a per-copy basis,

than her Harry Potter series.  Are you concerned that this

may have a negative impact on your bid for the U. S. Senate?"

"There are two main reasons why I'm the 'Hottest Politician'

on the Quinnipiac Thermometer Poll right now."

Pissed President Pledges to Pursue Leakers and Alliterators

Big Bad Bubba Sez:  “The Texas Secession Cake has been

baking for 85 years, and it's time we take it out of the oven!"

'Zombie Aunts' Found in Brazil

"Senator McConnell, Ed (of Gin and Tacos) says he would have

an easier time identifying with you as a person if you had lips. 

Well, Senator, do you?"

"I would just say that the issues that David Rivera is dealing

with are entirely those from his eight years of service in

the Florida legislature, and not from the two months he has

served in the House of Representatives. He's getting his

job done and I think that he's seen in a very favorable

light by everybody, except, perhaps, by those pesky

criminal investigators."

Warm Scuzzies #155

Kris Kobach

Two-Minute Haters #15

Rabbi David Eliezrie

Oxymorons for Our Time #89

Elite Populism

"Paul Johnson says he likes the cut of your jib and would

like you to spank him for being a naughty boy."

"But, Mr. Koch, Ian Murphy says he would steal the

identity of Jack the Ripper way before he would try

to steal yours."

"Betty Cracker---you may have heard of her---has raised

a question in the minds of many about the origin of people

as white as you. She suggests you (and they) may well

have been dumped here on Earth by the Supreme Ruler

of the Planet of the Cream Cheese People. Is there any

truth to this idea?  And, if not, why not?"

A picture is worth a thousand words of explaining

what's wrong with Texas.

The Propecia addict suddenly realized what was causing his

insomnia, anxiety attacks, and sexual dysfunction.

Despite having two bankruptcies on his record and despite the

fact that his primary qualification was his experience repairing

cracked windshields in a Colorado parking lot, Alan Kirchhoff

was promoted by Governor Rick Perry to head the Texas

Emerging Technology Fund, which has dispensed $360 million

to start-up companies.  Along the way, Mr. Kirchhoff also

managed to enrich himself, becoming a millionaire

 in very short order.  If you see him driving around

in either his Hummer or Mercedes, or see him at his

East Texas lake house, just remember that Mr.

Kirchhoff is a devout evangelical  and studies

the Scriptures daily.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #279

Peggy Littleton

Let's put it this way:  if Kay Hymowitz were

 the paragon of womanhood, who among

us would be courageous enough to 'man

up' in her general direction?

Senator DeMint Throws New Wench Into Legislative Process

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #48

Willard's Back!

{And his furry friends are going to eat

more than Ernest Borgnine this time!}

Oxymorons for Our Time #88

Dispossessed Majority

This Newt is slimy.

This newt is not.

"I LOVE collective bargaining!  OK, I've said it,

now supersize me!"

"But, sir, you're already supersized."

Just like George Will, he could feel the

'Vibrations of Weirdness' emanating from

 the Republican Party.

"Pardon me, sir, but are you racially oppressed?"

Warm Scuzzies #154

Dan Snyder

"Call me Hucksterbuckabee one more time and I'll call

down fire from heaven on your head!"