Warm Scuzzies #216

Jay Sekulow

World's Worst Yobs #226

Iain Murray

"We've come to realize that 'Republican' and 'Democrat'

 don't adequately convey the reality of what's really going

 on in Congress today.  So we've decided to change our

 party names to 'Crips' and 'Bloods'."

Father of the Modern Conservative Movement

Mother of the Modern Conservative Movement

Their Offspring

"Pardon me, Captain America, but what

do you think of the new online game,

Tea Party Zombies Must Die?

Are wildfires God's punishment for Rick Perry cutting the

budget for volunteer fire departments in Texas from $30

million to $7 million?  Ask Michele Bachmann.  Maybe

she has an answer said in jest.

Remember Where in the World Is Carmen San Diego? 

Well, there's a new game called Where in the World Is

Erick Erickson's Chin?

The Koch Industries, Inc. logo is very popular 

in the sex toy industry, as used, for example,

 in this 'Extreme Cock Lock Intruder'.

Do you have any idea how many Crypto-Communist Cooties

were exchanged when North Korea's Kim Jong-il shook

hands recently with Russia's Dmitry Medvedev? 

Little Known Fact #17

There are two known species of Terry Jones.

One species lives in Florida and burns Korans

for a living.

Another species of Terry Jones lives in Palestine and

eats Korans she gets from abusing food stamps.

Charlie Koch Sez:  "The only difference between Saddam

Hussein and Barack Obama is that the latter hasn't been

lynched yet. But my brother and I are billiionaires and

we're working on that."

"Governor Branstad, why are Sarah Palin and Michele

Bachmann such crazy ass bitches?"

Rick Perry About to Learn Why the Domino Theory

of Karma Should Be Taught in Texas Public Schools

If further proof were needed to show what a phony 'Secess-

ionist', 'Tenther', 'Tea Partier', and 'States'-Rightser'

Governor Rick Perry of Texas is, check out this

headline from the Austin American-Statesman: 

'Perry Expresses Frustration at Federal

Fire Support'.

"Help!  Help!  Rollins and Polyansky are down! 

Call a wambulance!"

Oxymorons for Our Time #108

Clean American Natural Gas

Atlas Shrugged

Newt Shrugged

Sarah Shrugged

Michele Shrugged

Alan Shrugged

You can now purchase Sarah Palin's Alaska

on two DVDs for only $9.99 at Amazon.  Or

you could spend $30,000 for a first edition

of J. D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye. 

Labor Day Holiday Next Year to Be Renamed

'Panicky Investor Day'

Twenty-One-Foot, 2,000-Pound Male Crocodile

Captured, So Mortified It Sheds Giant Tears

Watch Cardinal DeMint Conduct GOP Job Interviews

in The Baba Looey Captivity of the Papacy,

Tonight on The History Channel

"When I hold my hands like this,

I'm speaking 'literally'.

"But when I hold my hands like this,

I'm speaking 'metaphorically'."

As the success of TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras proves, you

can legally traffic in child porn so long as you call it a

'reality show'.

Fourteen Million Unemployed Americans Don't

 Think Labor Day Joke Is Funny

In a suit the color of oil, standing in a room

 with walls the color of gold and a carpet

the color of blood was a true American

monster, Richard Bruce Cheney.

Bachmann Again Vows $2 Gas, $5 Manicures

Only 25% of the attendants at the retirement ceremony for

General David Petraeus puked, a new record for the U. S.

 military's customary pomp and circumstance.

Rick Perry, a gaseous giant located 750 light years from

Chthonic Sanity, is one of the darkest solar objects ever

discovered, reflecting less than 1% of light.

"Somebody's asking if I'm not an elf, why my ears look

 elvish.  What's my answer, Todd?"

Polls are for strippers.  Crosses are for the

fully-clothed.

The only thing posing a greater threat to America today than

Schaeffer Cox and his Alaskan militia is

canned Scotch.

Woo-Hoo Personals #10

Abraham Lincoln Impersonator Wishes to Hook Up with

Republican Party Impersonator for a Bit of Time Travel

 to Watch John Wilkes Booth Take His Best Shot

"Polls are for strippers!" said Sarah Palin to the largest

crowd ever assembled on one acre of cornfield since 

William Jennings Bryan addressed

a crowd in Decorah, Iowa, in 1910.

Quick Draw McGraw

Quick Draw Machismo

Are these beer bottles at the Taybeh Brewery on the West

 Bank sad because they're empty or happy because they're

about to be refilled?

Little Known Fact #16

All of the old people you see at today's Tea Party rallies 

are the young people who didn't drop acid in the 1960s.

Magic Bus

Tragic Bus

Bank of America to Cut 30,000 Jobs, Move to South Pole,

and Change Name to 'Bank of Little America'