Bildungblog
Saturday, February 07, 2015
Erick the Heresy Hunter Sez: "Barack Obama
might
as well come out as the atheist/agnostic
that
he is."
RedState Inquisitor Sez:
"Barack
Obama is not, in any meaning
ful
way, a
Christian. Burn him, I
decree, burn him!"
Jeb Bush Accuses Spider-Man of Building Web That Traps
Poor People in Perpetual Dependence
"Tell me, Ghost of Breitbart Past, isn't the measles 'outbreak'
just a hoax to make us grab our children and obey the
government?"
So, Vladimir Putin was vaccinated for Despotic
Russian
Disorder but came down with Assburger's Syndrome,
instead. Are the anti-vaxxers aware of this?
Ann Coulter says colleges are 'a left-wing industry that
spends
its days indoctrinating kids to hate Republicans'.
That's her way of saying 'colleges exist so
that education
might possibly occur'.
If all the potential rapists in West Virginia pay attention
to what
Republican
Brian
Kurcaba says, they will be
better able to rationalize their behavior, to wit: "Yes,
raping you is awful, but think of the beautiful
child
we
are
making together!"
Friday, February 06, 2015
"Oh my God, NO!" Scott Walker wailed as the Mark of
Morris
was tattooed on his forehead.
Brian Williams is now saying his real surname
is Smellie,
after his 18th-century ancestor,
the
obstetrician William Smellie.
Thick-Sweatered Scarborough Assails Thin-Skinned Paul
After leaking his secret guacamole recipe, the University
of Oklahoma has been blacklisted from any future Jack
White performances. As a result, the University has decided
to move to Texas and merge with Manuel and Theresa's
School of Hair Design.
'How Bobby Jindal Wrecked Louisiana': that's Rod Dreher,
writing in
The
American Conservativ
e, who now admits
he was a fool to support
the Louisiana governor. Do
you
suppose exorcism might work
to rid the state
of this
ideological demon?
Mugabe Falls
New York City Subway Riders in 1946 Before Smartphones
Ruined Human Interaction
Obama's Lapdog
Netanyahu's Lapdog
If Kory Watkins and his BFF, Lieutenant-Governor
Dan Patrick, have their way, the unlicensed open carry
of handguns in Texas will be legal. Won't that be swell!
Koch Suspends 'Make It Happy' Tweet Campaign
Designed
to Combat 'Pervasive Online Negativity'
Jeb Bush is so mean he even scares Danny Trejo, and he's
the Dean of Mean!
"I'm next!" hollered Reverend Horton Heat, after
hearing that Pope Francis will be addressing Congress.
Here's how to sneak a candy bar in when you go to see
American Sniper
at your local theater. Protip: if you use a
30-round clip,
you can sneak in a Snickers AND a
Milky Way.
Classic Frantz Fanon Work Now
Available in New Translation for
Auto Mechanics
Rand Paul Trolls Liberals by Getting a
Left Shark Tattoo on His Right Arm
Thursday, February 05, 2015
The cover of this year's
Sports Illustrated
Swimsuit Issue
features a topographical
map showing
the foothills at the base
of
Mons Venus.
"Oh my, the Broiled Cthulhu O'R'lyeh with
Spiced Carrots isn't quite done!"
Whoever substituted 'discount' for 'cut rate' was probably
the same guy who realized if you sold a $1 item for 99
cents, people would think they were getting a
discount
and buy two of them.
Truth in Advertising #6
Before Blackout there was
Hot Damn! I'm Smashed!
Man Waiting for 50 Foot Woman to Show Up and Make
Boiled Crab with Garlic-Vermouth Butter
Got apoplexy? No? Well, watch this show!
"Ah, print---the feel of a newspaper,
the smell of the ink!"
"Is it true, Mr. Horowitz, that under your shirt,
your skin is covered with 'subversive mosques'?"
Asked about stepping down as co-chair
of Sony Pictures,
Pascal said he would have to think about it.
The next time she heard 'Beep! Beep!' behind her,
she pulled over.
When a Republican calls you a 'hater', tell him he's
projecting and he'll start calling you a 'Freudian',
instead.
Realizing his last name was a 'challenge', Jeb Bush
decided to change it to Blaszczykowski.
Like Pavlov's dog, when he heard 'Rand Paul',
he started salivating for waffles.
Senator Paul Clarifies: "I did not say vaccines caused
disorders,
just that they were temporally related—I did
not
allege
causation."
[
Clarification = Didn't screw up enough the first time; let's try again.]
Freddie the Freeloader Sez:
"People
often confuse me with
the Governor of New Jersey. But I'm an honest bum and
he's not."
When ISIS burns someone alive, it forces modern Christians
to look into the distant mirror of the Middle Ages.
He really liked Ted Cruz and the Shutdowners
and
Barry O & the Usurpers. Not unexpectedly,
they
insisted on playing on the same stage on the
same
night at the same time, which was OK,
so long
as you could appreciate the music of
Charles Ives.
Wednesday, February 04, 2015
"I'm Snooki and I'm prego!"
"I'm Prego, too!"
Leather Boy Exposes Obama's Willie Horton Plan to
Release All Murderers
Congressman Sean Duffy (R-WI) wants the world to know
he
opposes the pasteurization of families.
Brian Williams' Iraq War stories are as crooked as his face.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #611
Brian Greene
Joan of Arc Thanking Almighty God That
Christians
Were Going to Burn Her at
the Stake
and Not
ISIS
Conrad Hilton may face 20 years in prison for wearing
a t-shirt with a flying rodent printed on it.
"Congressman Schock, you may
think
you're living in
Downton Abbey, but I think of you more as Mr. Toad
of
Toad Hall."
Bobby Jindal is on the left. Piyush Jindal is on the right.
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