Bildungblog
Friday, February 05, 2016
Trump of God Trumps Trump
Rick Santorum's struggle to name one of Marco Rubio's
achievements shouldn't be blamed on faulty memory.
It's because there aren't any, unless you count
brandishing a sword and making Jeb Bush blush.
Thursday, February 04, 2016
God created Martin Shkreli to make Ted Cruz look lovable.
Flag Desecration #90
"Lose the leash, buddy! I was born to be wild!"
Who does Trump think he is---Orange Julius Caesar?
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #168
We Accept All Shekels, Drachmas, Denarii,
and
US Dollars
"Even Jimmy Carter likes me better than Ted!"
America's Largest Cross
Begins Construction
in Corpus Christi, Second Largest
Cross
Still Running for President
Bush Audience in New Hampshire Explains It Couldn't
Yawn and Clap at the Same Time
Going golfing? Don't forget your balls!
His theory of why television was invented was so more
people
could watch the Miracle Blade III slice through
wall
tiles, hard rubber, and copper pipe.
Don't Call a Spade a Horticultural Implement
Carly Fiorina Thinks Fist of Jesus Will Carry Her to
GOP Nomination
"Incoming Muslim, sir! Time to duck!"
Wednesday, February 03, 2016
"What's up with the bird?"
"I'm not certain, but I think it heard someone say,
'Rick Santorum frotheth no more.'"
World's Worst Yobs #348
Frank Buckley
Farina Fights to Get Invited to New Hampshire Debate
Little Known Fact #60
Having sex with a mosquito doubles the risk of
contracting the Zika virus.
On February 9 in New Hampshire, Ted Cruz and Donald
Trump will live free or die.
"Yes, Tom, it's true: deodorant changes more
than your smell."
Drink Corona! It's Miles Away From Ordinary
"We simply cannot afford any further delay in
transitioning
from the Voodoo Economics of the
Reagan
years to the Zombie Economics of the
Clinton era."
Aqua Buddha Turns On, Tunes In, and Drops Out
"To God goes the glory!"
After he completed
The Last Supper
, Leonardo da Vinci
did
The Republican Savior's Last Autograph Session
.
"We will carpet bomb them
into oblivion.
I don't know if sand can glow in the dark,
but we're going to find out."
Tuesday, February 02, 2016
"The next time I hear Ted Cruz exult, 'To God goes the glory!',
I'm going to re-think my No Flood policy!"
"This is the kind of ice cream cone that changes color
as you lick it. Watch!"
Mike Huckabee Drops Out of Presidential Race,
Gathers Up Unopened Boxes
of Squirrel Helper,
and Goes Home
InstaBook
God Uses Cruz to Punish Trump in the Same Way
He Used Nebuchadnezzar to Punish Judah
The Sixties Rise Again!
Carly Fiorina Is a No-Show at Her Own Iowa Caucus Party
The Masque of the Dead Clown
You are about to enter another dimension.
Next stop, the Rhyme Zone!
Monday, February 01, 2016
"Forward, backward, inward, outward
Come and join the chase
Nothing could be drier
Than a jolly Iowa caucus race."
Donald Trump Sez: "There may be somebody with
tomatoes in the audience. So if you see somebody getting
ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them,
would you?"
"Incoming tomato, Commander Trump!"
"Shields up!"
Trump Mistakes Communion Plate for Collection Plate
"Urkin Jerkin is going postal around the oval!"
“Well, I was told that this interview is about the caucus
tonight in Iowa and all you want to talk about is my
Track record."
Tibetan Mastiff and His Animal Companion
Scary Movie
"Of course, Ted, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is
lost,
if you keep it a secret."
Sunday, January 31, 2016
The Trumpelujah Chorus
"Trump-e-lujah!
Trump-e-lujah!
Trumpelujah!
Trumpelujah!
Trump-e-lu-jah!"
Cross-Border Raid Busts Chief Financial Officer, Three
Vice-Presidents,
the Human Resources Director, and
19 First-Line Supervisors in
El Chapo's Drug Cartel
Ex-Bird Brings Knife to
Gun Fight
"I like to make stuff up in two ways: firstly in my normal
voice and then in a kind of silly high-pitched whine."
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