Bildungblog

2012-01-29T15:13:00.000-08:00

In Swords and Sandals, you create a gladiator,

arm him with a variety of armor and weapons,

and then send him into battle against a horde

of Dirty Rotten Imbeciles.

2012-01-29T14:53:00.000-08:00

"'Satan'? That's just the name some Hollywood producer

gave me. I was born 'Saul Alinsky', the name my parents

saddled me with in order to scare the children."

2012-01-29T07:53:00.000-08:00

"Would someone please call Child Protective Services

for me?"

2012-01-29T06:08:00.000-08:00

If you are a resident of the Keystone State, the Pennsylvania

House of Representatives has just voted unanimously to

declare 2012 as the 'Year of the Bible'. It wasn't made clear

whether it's the Catholic Bible (with Apocrypha) or the

Protestant Bible (without Apocrypha), which ancient

languages---Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Coptic, etc.---are

included, or which English translations---King James

Version, New King James Version, 21st Century

King James Version, etc.---are preferred. So,

it looks like you're pretty much on your own.

Good luck!

2012-01-29T05:19:00.000-08:00

You've heard it said that married couples, over time,

begin to

resemble each other.

2012-01-29T05:14:00.000-08:00

'Angry Little Attack Muffin' Sez:

"Saul Alinsky is comin' to get

yo mama!"

2012-01-29T05:01:00.000-08:00

Truth in Advertising

2012-01-28T11:14:00.000-08:00

"Pardon me, but could you direct me

to the nearest velodrome?"

2012-01-28T11:03:00.000-08:00

UFIA²

2012-01-28T10:50:00.000-08:00

In the world of Postmodern Advertising, Ron Paul isn't

running for President; he's just selling Cadbury Dairy

Milk chocolate bars.

2012-01-28T07:03:00.000-08:00

"This is the nineteenth debate. It is insane that there

have been nineteen debates. I should know

because I've moderated four of them myself!"

2012-01-28T06:52:00.000-08:00

Tony Perkins (Gay)

Tony Perkins (Un-Non-Anti-Gay)

2012-01-28T06:36:00.000-08:00

Soldier in Afghanistan Captures Black Beast of Arrrggghhh!

2012-01-28T06:15:00.000-08:00

"I didn't ask Texas taxpayers to spend $800,000

on my security detail. All those troopers just

showed up in Iowa, New Hampshire, and

South Carolina."

2012-01-28T06:02:00.000-08:00

The Politico Illustrated #19

'Newt Gingrich's secret weapon'

2012-01-28T05:51:00.000-08:00

Pennsylvania Middle School Bans Ugh!s

2012-01-27T07:39:00.000-08:00

"According to R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr., I, Newton

Leroy Gingrich, am (1) a 1960s generation

narcissist, (2) wayward and deviant, (3) a

self-promoter, (4) a tireless hustler,

(5) ostentatiously brainy, (6) a huckster,

(7) a girl-hopper, and (8) conservatism's

Bill Clinton. Well, at least I'm not a nerd

like Emmett."

2012-01-27T06:33:00.000-08:00

World's Worst Yobs #239

Jeffrey Kuhner

2012-01-27T06:09:00.000-08:00

A picture is worth a thousand words, as this image of Rick

Perry's presidential campaign shows.

2012-01-27T05:30:00.000-08:00

Album Cover of Latest Release from

Newt Gingrich Tribute Band

2012-01-27T05:09:00.000-08:00

It's What's Now for Breakfast, Republicans!

2012-01-26T13:57:00.000-08:00

Magical Depressionism #28

Online Recruitment Firm Monster Worldwide

Lays Off 400 Employees

2012-01-26T13:46:00.000-08:00

Lies? Oh, Newt Gingrich wrote the book on that.

2012-01-26T12:57:00.000-08:00

"But if I pull your finger, Jan, it might break

off and crumble into dust."

(h/t Montag)

2012-01-26T12:35:00.000-08:00

Sad Sack As a Young Man

Sad Sack As an Old Man

2012-01-26T08:15:00.000-08:00

Chris Christie Sez: "Everything should

taste like bacon."

2012-01-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

Gingrich Promises Mooning Colony by 2020

2012-01-26T07:34:00.000-08:00

President Obama Pans

Governor Brewer's Book

2012-01-26T07:12:00.000-08:00

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #353

Jeff Fortenberry

2012-01-26T06:42:00.000-08:00

"Watching Republicans beat each other to a

bloody pulp may someday be illegal. So,

let's enjoy it while we can!"

2012-01-26T06:03:00.000-08:00

What the Man in the Moon May Look Like in 2020

2012-01-25T17:29:00.000-08:00

"Admit it, Barack! I'm the best mummy, by far,

since Boris Karloff played Imhotep in 1932!"

2012-01-25T17:12:00.000-08:00

Like the Theory of Evolution, some chickens found it hard to

accept

the Theory of Liquefaction.

2012-01-25T16:54:00.000-08:00

The third worst cartel in the world is the NCAA.

The first is OPEC and the second is Los Zetas.

2012-01-25T16:46:00.000-08:00

The Gospel Truth Illustrated

2012-01-25T16:32:00.000-08:00

'Multiple Realities' is a very scary idea, isn't it?

'One Reality' is scary enough.

2012-01-25T16:15:00.000-08:00

When Up In Smoke was made in 1978, the actors didn't

need to wear gas masks.

In the 2010 Japanese remake, they did.

2012-01-25T15:55:00.000-08:00

No, this is not Hell. It's just where we all go when we die.

This is Hell.

2012-01-25T15:47:00.000-08:00

"What's that?"

"That's the husk of Tom DeLay, all that was left after his

lawyers sucked him dry trying to keep him out of jail."

2012-01-25T15:12:00.000-08:00

Why is it that balls can never seem to get along?

2012-01-25T15:05:00.000-08:00

"Good God, Haley, I just realized you're the spitting image

of Boss Hogg!"

2012-01-25T14:45:00.000-08:00

"Either way, still piss," says the Pessimist.

2012-01-25T14:26:00.000-08:00

When you hear the expression, "Sounds like Newt is throwing

more red meat to the knuckledraggers," this is the meat being

thrown.

2012-01-25T14:08:00.000-08:00

#1 on the American Dental Association's

Enemies List

2012-01-25T13:52:00.000-08:00

This happy chef has just learned what happens

when you put Gumby in the microwave.

2012-01-25T13:16:00.000-08:00

The governor had hoped it all had been a bad dream, and

that when he awoke, he wouldn't be back in Paint Creek,

working for his dad as an emu-breeder.

2012-01-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

"Lemon tree very pretty and

the lemon flower is sweet

But the fruit of the poor lemon

is impossible to eat."

2012-01-25T08:20:00.000-08:00

Governor Daniels Gives Incandescent Response to President

Obama's SOTU Address, Says He Has a Better Idea

2012-01-25T07:54:00.000-08:00

Oklahoma Lawmaker Wants to Outlaw Use

of Human Fetuses in Soylent Green™

2012-01-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

Newt or Mitt? Poor Miss Poontney Spadafroont

couldn't make up her mind.

2012-01-25T07:05:00.000-08:00

Free!

Take One!

2012-01-25T06:23:00.000-08:00

In keeping with the current shortage of ADHD meds, the

text of President Obama's SOTU address was written at

the 8th grade level this year.

2012-01-25T05:45:00.000-08:00

Mini-Mitch Blasts Obama's Pro-Puberty Policy

2012-01-25T05:31:00.000-08:00

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #352

Andy Nowicki

2012-01-25T05:24:00.000-08:00

Monthly Meeting of Anonymous Members of

Alcoholics Anomymous

2012-01-24T16:30:00.000-08:00

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #351

Ralph Shortey

2012-01-24T13:40:00.000-08:00

"What's this, the Superbowl?"

"Nah, thanks to Newt Gingrich, it's just the latest

innovation in the GOP debate format."

2012-01-24T13:28:00.000-08:00

Don't Worry, Be Happy

2012-01-24T11:29:00.000-08:00

Gramps Doing His T-1000 Impersonation

2012-01-24T10:55:00.000-08:00

Fifties Humor

2012-01-24T06:55:00.000-08:00

"Yes, I know that 'noot' is 'toon' spelled

backwards. And don't call me Leroy!"

2012-01-24T06:28:00.000-08:00

"If I'm an 'Elitist', then Jim Hoft must be

'Developmentally Delayed'.

2012-01-24T05:53:00.000-08:00

Were Chris Christie's 'panties in a wad', as Sarah Palin

had claimed? "Not so!" exclaimed the young fact checker.

2012-01-24T05:23:00.000-08:00

World's Worst Yobs #238

Patrick Pexton

2012-01-24T05:11:00.000-08:00

Was it just a visual pun, or was the Republican Party

truly facing a fork in the road?

2012-01-24T05:00:00.000-08:00

Bad Spellers of the World UNTIE! #230

2012-01-24T04:46:00.000-08:00

Flag Desecration #51

2012-01-23T15:31:00.000-08:00

"Beg pardon, but I've come to seal the deal."

2012-01-23T15:23:00.000-08:00

Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals Strikes Down

Oklahoma’s Ban on Klingon Law

2012-01-23T15:13:00.000-08:00

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #350

Vicky Hartzler

2012-01-23T14:49:00.000-08:00

Rand Paul is calling for an inquiry into

whether airport scanners are rigged

to make him look like a cartoon monkey.

2012-01-23T06:29:00.000-08:00

Warm Scuzzies #255

Mark Cenedella

2012-01-23T05:35:00.000-08:00

Futurologists are now predicting that in 100 years,

we'll all be communicating telepathically. Uh-oh.

2012-01-22T17:06:00.000-08:00

"It says here 'I'm Mickey Kaus's pet goat and you
wouldn't believe how really tired I am of servicing
that contrarian perv'!"

2012-01-22T16:44:00.000-08:00

Recently-Declassified Photograph #25

Tim Geithner Trying to Recall Where He

Mislaid the U. S. Treasury

2012-01-22T16:27:00.000-08:00

Forgetting Tim Pawlenty is not necessarily an

indicator of presenile dementia. But it could be.

2012-01-22T16:22:00.000-08:00

Terry Paulson Sez: "I may look normal, but I'm

crazier than a Common Loon on dry pavement in

Duluth, Minnesota!"

2012-01-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

"Hi, I'm Newt Gingrich, your Chick fil-a server for today.

In case you didn't already know, I wake up my taste

buds on the right side of the bed every morning. That's

where Callista sleeps. And now, may I take your order?"

2012-01-22T15:23:00.000-08:00

"I'm warning you: one more crack about my

Happy Days hairdo and I'll burn your Koran!"

2012-01-22T15:08:00.000-08:00

Buy this man's book, or he will break into

your house, steal your copy of the Koran,

and then set himself on fire.

2012-01-22T14:51:00.000-08:00

Was this a Native American made of polycarbonates, a

White Person Not Hispanic, or Diogenes without his lamp

still looking for an honest man? Newt couldn't tell for sure.

2012-01-22T14:34:00.000-08:00

WE APPRECIATE YOUR LOYALTY

TO OUR BRAND

2012-01-22T14:19:00.000-08:00

If South Carolina Republicans Were

Colorful Confections

2012-01-22T14:14:00.000-08:00

Before he landed the role as 'Stymie' in Hal Roach's Our

Gang comedies, Matthew Beard had dreamed of starring

one day in Young Sherlock Holmes.

2012-01-22T14:01:00.000-08:00

For Those Who Have Never Understood the

Difference Between a 'Suit' (Shown Here)

and an

'Empty Suit' (Shown Here)

2012-01-22T13:49:00.000-08:00

"Good morning, Mr. Ailes. Your mission, should you decide

to accept it, is to make sure Newt Gingrich doesn't get

the Republican nomination for President in 2012. As

always, should you be captured, be killed, or otherwise

fail in your mission, Ronald Reagan will disavow

any knowledge of your actions."

2012-01-22T13:32:00.000-08:00

Only 289 days until the 2012 Presidential Election!

2012-01-22T13:23:00.000-08:00

Rick Perry Runs Out of Cash in South Carolina,

Is Forced to Hitch a Ride Back to Texas

2012-01-22T13:18:00.000-08:00

"Is it just me, or do these shoes make

my feet look big?"

2012-01-22T13:10:00.000-08:00

Would someone please tell Chuck Todd that this guy

is making a mockery of the system?

2012-01-22T12:24:00.000-08:00

"Yes, Granny, the monkeys said, 'See no evil! Hear no

evil! Speak no evil!' But they left out, 'Smell no evil!'"

2012-01-22T11:08:00.000-08:00

Word on the street is that neither Goodwill

nor the Salvation Army is accepting this

t-shirt as a donation. "We already have

too many on hand and can't even give

them away," they say.

2012-01-22T11:00:00.000-08:00

"Like Mr. Rogers, I just want to be your neighbor."

2012-01-22T08:18:00.000-08:00

When you hear Newt Gingrich talking about 'family values',

keep in mind this is the family he is referring to.

2012-01-22T08:06:00.000-08:00

"Like Newt Gingrich, my beard articulates the deepest-held

values of the American people."

2012-01-22T07:28:00.000-08:00

Colbert & Cain Comedy Duo Outpolls Rick Perry

Better Than 2-to-1 in South Carolina

2012-01-22T06:29:00.000-08:00

Mitt Romney Tries (and Fails) to Wash Newt's Skidmarks

Out of His Magic Underwear

2012-01-22T06:07:00.000-08:00

"No doubt about it. These carbon footprints were left

by Republicans from South Carolina."
"Don't you mean 'lemmings'?"
"Same difference."

2012-01-22T05:33:00.000-08:00

"Everett, I predict that 48 years from now,

history will repeat itself."

2012-01-22T05:13:00.000-08:00

South Carolina Goes Green!