The Three Legs of the Conservative Stool

Why God has called Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann,

Rick Santorum, and Herman Cain to run for President

in the same year and in the same election remains

 unclear. Perhaps He is not really omniscient

after all and is merely hedging His bets.

"My son lost his job due to sunspots caused

by the Obama administration."

"Do you realize how much 'baby bumps' cost these days?"

One regulation libertarians are fairly certain

they will eventually see get revoked is the

one mandating Big Foot crossing signs in

areas where they're obviously not needed.

"This is my first time to appear on

bildungblog.  I'm  very proud to

be here.  Now, isn't it about

time we said the Pledge of

Allegiance?"

Shard of Shattered Economy Momentarily Blinds Chairman

of the Federal Reserve; Thankfully, His Injury Is Not

Thought to Be Life-Threatening

Details are sketchy at this hour, but the latest

report seems to indicate that Barack Obama's

secret plan to win the 2012 presidential election

involves, in one way or the other, the New York

Times and a trombone.

Barack Obama (aka The Angel of Death) Sticks to

Truman's ‘Do-Nothing Congress’ Line of 1948

"Whoa!  That's what the seventy-two virgins in Heaven look

like?  Now I see why they're still virgins!"

Multiply this by 250 if you wish to know what it feels like

to be Mitt Romney.

Condomless Sex With Ashton Kutcher? Why

 Are Young People Becoming So Cavalier

About Unsafe Sex with Hollywood Assholes?

"We’d love to see, for example, a vote in the United

States Senate on a moratorium on Federal regulations,

which are coming out by the thousands, costing

businesses billions and billions of jobs."

"'Billions', sir?"

"Did I say 'billions'?  I meant to say 'trillions'."

Did conservatism cause Rush Limbaugh

to resemble an anal wart?  Or is the

cause just another one of life's many

 known unknowns?

Saul Bellow guffawed when he learned President Obama had

dispatched 100 U. S. soldiers to Africa to assist in the search

for multimillionaire and international troublemaker,

Henderson the Rain King.

"Shoes.

Shoes.

Shoes.

Oh my God.

Shoes.

Let's get some shoes.

Let's get some shoes.

Let's get some shoes.

Let's get some shoes."

One man's evolution is another man's

descent into madness.

"Neigh, neigh, a thousand times neigh!"

"It’s been a rough month. We have been brutalized and

beaten up and chewed up in the press ...  We are being

brutalized by our opponents, and our own party. So much

of that is, I think they look at Rick, and say, "We can't

 imagine why he married a whiner like Anita."

"Is it true, Mr. Cain, that you developed your 9-9-9 tax

plan while serving as mayor of SimCity?"

"The Occupy Wall Street

protesters are crackhead

drug dealers.  I know

this to be a fact

because I'm one of

their best customers."

Poor Mitt Romney!  Robert Jeffress says he's not a Christian.

Rush Limbaugh says he's not a conservative.  By jingo, the

next thing you know somebody will be saying he's not a

Mormon.

"I brush my whole body three times a day

 with Colgate Total® Advanced

Whitening.  Can't you tell?"

One of these two is a clown. The other is

a governor. Hint: the governor has bright

red hair.

'Black Walnut' New GOP Flavor of the Week

Friends Say Used-Car Dealer and Alleged Iranian Plotter

Manssor Arbabsiar Frequently Lost Socks in the Hozone

Libyan Rebels Rock!

If he were real, the LAST person in the world Scott Brown

 would plagiarize should be Liddy Dole.  But, of course,

he's not.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #339

Sam Mullet

The Politico Illustrated #15

"Bachmann shows signs of life"

What do you get when you mix whiskey, guns, bars, and

Tennessee?  Republican Lawmaker/Lawbreaker 

Curry Todd.

Rick Scott Sez: "We don't need any more anthropologists!

We, the vanguard from Planet Nibiru, already know all we

need to know about humans before the full-scale in-

vasion of Earth begins in 2012."

"Size matters, especially in my line of work."

"As a matter of fact the Founding Fathers were very much

afraid if that because they’d just had this experience with

this far-away government that had centralized thought

process and planning and what have you, and then it was

actually the reason that we fought the revolution in the

16th century, shortly after the invention of bottled beer."

One of Erick Erickson's jobs is teaching others how to whine

while declaring, "Suck it up you whiners!" 

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #338

Thomas Menino

"Friends, Solitaire Players, Baseball Score-Checkers,

lend me your ears!"

"Well, I'll be doggone! I knew you had been the CEO

of Godfather's Pizza, but I didn't know you had also

been an ambassador to Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan."

"I ain't never goin' home again

I was tuggin' at my mama's breast

The first year really is the best."

Who would want to occupy Boise, Idaho?  Sure, it's

dirty work, but somebody has to do it.

"I still support the troops.

Ha!  Missed me!

I still support the troops.

Ha!  Missed me!

I still support the troops.

Ha!  Missed me!"

Seattle Superhero Phoenix Jones Arrested, Charged with

'Impersonating a Koch Brother'

Old Ween

New Ween

"Congressman West, you have been described as a 'one-

man circular firing squad'.  To what do you owe

this acclaim?"

"Why did Jacob Weisberg doom me by predicting I will win

 the Republican presidential nomination?  I thought he

was my pal!" 

Erick Erickson Announces 'We Are the 53 Percent' 

to Form Alliance with 'We Are the 1%' in Fight

Against 'We Are the 99%'

Real governors ought not to look like Scott Walker.

Joe the Plumber Promises to Unclog Backed-Up Congress

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #127

Warner Todd Huston and Victoria Jackson