Only 91#? I know Trey, and believe me, he belongs in the top 5. With every person he meets for the first time, he puts a handgun and an American flag in front of them. If you reach for the gun, he shoots you with his own gun. If you reach for the flag, he stabs your hand with a fork. Apparently, the correct answer is to pull out your own gun and your own flag. He married the woman who also had a pocket copy of the Constitution. Also, that photo is outdated. He has warpaint permanently tattooed across his face. And he no longer wears clothes.
The order in the House of Wackos is strictly numerical, as I discover them. My first encounter with Trey was a column he wrote for the Dallas Morning News.
Everything Destiny and David said is true. He also powers his entire house by hamsters on wheels. When PETA found out, they tried to come out and protest, but he shot them all and stuffed them. They're now all over his fireplace mantle. He had the taxidermist stretch out one thumb on each one, so they could also be Christmas stocking holders.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #91
Good Sir, certainly you have these numbers reversed.
ReplyDeleteOnly 91#? I know Trey, and believe me, he belongs in the top 5. With every person he meets for the first time, he puts a handgun and an American flag in front of them. If you reach for the gun, he shoots you with his own gun. If you reach for the flag, he stabs your hand with a fork. Apparently, the correct answer is to pull out your own gun and your own flag. He married the woman who also had a pocket copy of the Constitution. Also, that photo is outdated. He has warpaint permanently tattooed across his face. And he no longer wears clothes.
ReplyDeleteThe order in the House of Wackos is strictly numerical, as I discover them. My first encounter with Trey was a column he wrote for the Dallas Morning News.
ReplyDeleteEverything Destiny and David said is true.
ReplyDeleteHe also powers his entire house by hamsters on wheels. When PETA found out, they tried to come out and protest, but he shot them all and stuffed them. They're now all over his fireplace mantle. He had the taxidermist stretch out one thumb on each one, so they could also be Christmas stocking holders.
I neglected to thank everyone for their comments. Each of you seem to know more about Trey than I do. That's good.
ReplyDeleteWhen I walk in a room, it's announced by the gonging sound of my brass balls clanging together.
ReplyDeleteWomen swoon when I don the Speedo. They charge when I take it off.
I'm why the Hmong people now have a word for "We surrender."
I've eaten chupacabras. Mexico's lousy with them.
That scar on Chuck Norris' forehead? Yeah, all me.
I can steal your soul with my mind.
Welcome, Trey! Stick around and react with abandon.
ReplyDeleteNo reacting.
ReplyDeleteStrike first, strike hard, no mercy. Cobra Kai!
Great snakes, Trey! Keep feeding my insatiable Sitemeter!
ReplyDeleteThey say when Trey blinks the atmosphere burns. Lucky for us, he's never blinked.
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ReplyDeleteA typical Saturday evening in my house involves me reading his DMN columns aloud to my breathless and undulating wife.
ReplyDeleteTrey needs to be *much* higher on this list. Where's the LOVE, man?
ReplyDeleteNote how pretty he is in that photo; it was taken after his recent goat placenta treatment in Berne.
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