"The thought of all those children working in Indian 

sweatshops making products with my brand on them

just breaks my pea-pickin' heart!"

State Representative Drew Darby (R-TX) forgot he had

a brain in his head and was charged with a felony for 

carrying a loaded gun into an Austin airport. 

After decrying the disastrous effects of

 'overreaching government' all day, GOP

 House candidate Stewart Mills likes to

 take the edge off with his best buddy and

 a beer bong.

The dog had been warned to not gaze directly at 

Rand Paul, lest it be turned to brass.

No Northern Cardinals were harmed

in the making of this Christmas

tree ornament.

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #34

Charles C. W. Cooke

"We will tattoo Obamacare on Democrats' foreheads."

Oxymorons for Our Time #160

Hip Hop Conservative

Is the Dick Dynasty a dead duck?

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #530

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

"Got blow?"

Now that he has been arrested for terrorizing the residents

 of Leith, North Dakota, Craig Cobb is demanding that he be 

incarcerated in an all-white jail with wall-to-wall swastikas

and hot-and-cold running neoNazis.

"This is an issue we have dealt with privately for many years, 

and we are pained to see the Liz and Lez family feud become

public."