Gazing deep into each other's eyes, the two aspiring despots,

Vladimir Putin and Aleksander Lukashenko, established

a brain lock and thought in unison: "I'd claw my way out

of hell and straight through ten miles of solid rock to see

that smile again."

Whereas you are no doubt aware of the problem of
binge drinking, you may not be aware of the problem
of pasta slamming.

After retiring from the Senate, Dr. Bill Frist says he will
open a new YouTube-based, remote-diagnosis practice.
All his patients will need to do is upload a video and send
him $125 via major credit card or PayPal. He says his
diagnoses will be emailed promptly within five

business days.

Only three things in life are certain: 1) death, 2) taxes,

and 3) Happy Hour at Bildungblog.

Cheers, mates!

The puma cub and Hobbes were getting along just fine,

and then Calvin showed up.

It was something of an unexpected calamity when the rubber

finally met the road.

World's Worst Jobs #12

Fijian Newspaper Seller

"There are two kinds of terrorism in the US," said Lurita
Alexis Doan, head of the General Services Administration.
"The external kind and, internally, the Inspectors-General
have terrorized the Regional Administrators by exposing fraud,
abuse, and waste in the awarding of government contracts.
It's my job to stop these internal terrorists before they can
strike again!"

Every so often, you'll hear talk of someone wearing a tinfoil
hat. Many think it's just a figurative expression. 
Well, it isn't.

After the Rapture, this was all that was left behind

on the cricket pitch.

What Henry James Had in Mind When He Wrote

The Figure in the Carpet

Four Lexicologists Gearing Up to Decontaminate the Meanings

of Words Used by President Bush, Like 'Liberty', 'Democracy',

and 'Nucular'

"Mr. President, that rancid tie makes it look like you have

a yellow streak running from your Adam's apple all the way

down to your toy soldier. I told you to not let Laura pick

out your ties."

Seen here are the inner workings of the 'Newt Gingrich

for President' campaign. A spokesman describes it as

"a well-oiled machine."

The nation's capital was rocked yesterday by the

news President Bush has been diagnosed with

late-onset autism. Doctors say he is "completely out

of touch with reality" and is "living in a persistent

rutabaga state."

"Breathe deep the gathering gloom,
Watch lights fade from every room.
Bedsitter people look back and lament,
Another day's useless energy spent."

If you were a little girl who had just seen the creepy

statue of San Lazaro, you would be frightened, too.

Although he couldn't quite put his finger on it,

the passenger knew something was very odd

about the aircraft's design.

Seeing the thought balloons, the Spaniards realized

they were trapped inside a comic strip.

Astigmatic Car Shopper Attempting to Kick Tires

Future Middle-of-the-Road Politician

Ascending Staircase

A question heard frequently here at Bildungblog is: "What

is the etymology of the name, 'Mort Kondracke'?" Josh

Marshall believes it is derived from "noxious, risible,

fetid thinking." That sounds about right.

President Bush says Nouri al-Maliki is the "right guy" for Iraq

and Two Foot Fred isn't.

Dismissing talk of "some kind of graceful exit out of Iraq,"

President Bush grabbed the bull firmly by the horns.

Rudy Giuliani Just Seconds Before His Ascension

into Heaven Preempted His Bid to Become the

Republican Nominee for President in 2008

Air Guitarist Performing His Musical Adaptation

of the Iraq Study Group Report

The New Face of Capitalist China, the Old Face of Communist China

When you eventually get down to this item of clothing,

politics will probably be the last thing on your mind.

The riot police took no chances when they heard Pam 
Spaulding's cat was really steamed and headed their way.

"You can't lead unless you've got courage. Nouri's got courage

and he's shown courage over the last six months. Before that,

he was a yellow-bellied, lily-livered coward."

Here we see Indian eunuchs discussing the story of Philip
 the Evangelist and the conversion of the Ethiopian Eunuch. 
In particular, they are debating the scholarly issue concerning 
what chariot model the Ethiopian was riding in.

Sick and tired of all those expensive sinus remedies that

leave you stuffed up? Well, have you tried this?

Is there life after the Bush Administration? Karl Rove

thinks so. He's now working on an Associates Degree in

Videography from the Academy of Art University.

"Hey, hey now baby, get into my big black car

Hey now baby, get into my big black car

I wanna just show you what my politics are."

A milestone has been reached in the Iraq War: 
President Bush has shed his first tear. Observers 
say the landmark event occurred when Iraqi 
Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki postponed 
their scheduled meeting in Jordan. "It's the first
 time I've been stood up on a date," the President 
said, wiping his eye.

If you've never had the opportunity to kiss the Pope's ring,

now's your chance.

As the leaked memo from National Security Adviser Stephen

Hadley indicates, there may not be civil war in Iraq, but there

definitely is, as shown here, civil war in the White House.

If you work package pickup for UPS in Turkey,

you can't be too careful.

Israeli Soldier Indicating How Many Palestinian Houses

He Has Helped Demolish in the West Bank

Be sure to wipe your feet when you enter a home in

Baghdad. It is very ill-mannered to track blood in.

So anyway, you've got Nancy Pelosi on the bed and her

legs are on the mantelpiece, and you are asking her

whether she will pick

Jane Harman

or Alcee Hastings

to chair the House Intelligence Committee.

That's when she tells you it will be the guy

in the blue and silver hat.

Two members of the younger generation claim

they have discovered a new, but very messy way

to calculate the square root of pie.

Although the decision in 2002 to permit the cloning of

Santa Claus was widely viewed as an essential step in the

campaign to spread Christmas cheer worldwide, there is

now some evidence, albeit anecdotal, which tends to

suggest some metropolitan areas, like New York City,

are being overrun by jolly old elves.

Bob made a real monkey of himself when he accepted

the double-dog-dare to lick the block of dry ice.

On December 3, Hugo "Whiff the Sulphur" Chavez hopes

to hit another home run with the people of Venezuela.

Does competitive swimming make you yawn, or is

Britta Steffen just easily bored?