"Do you know what?  I'm happy!"

Salvador Dali says it's surreally the Tenth Day of

Zappadan.

 "I find it easier to carry my urogenital prosthesis on my back."

There are Pet Peeves and then there are

Peeved Pets.

John Travolta got a make-under on the Ninth Day of

Zappadan.

Allen West Named CEO of National Center for

Plagiarism Analysis

After Abu Ghraib, they called this the 'Cheney Knot'.

"But, James Mitchell is a doctor!"

"So was Joseph Mengele."

Rude Rhymes #84

Antic Urn

Tom Coburn

Good news for Ann Coulter!

Pope Francis says dogs will

go to Heaven.

World's Worst Yobs #319

Ken Dilanian

Eric Bolling was amused when Jesse Watters, his Fox 

News colleague, said, "So we roughed up a few of them. 

So we humiliated a few terrorists. No one cares." 

[For someone suffering from Grinning Skull Syndrome,

Eric doesn't look half bad.]

Michael Hayden is beginning to look a bit dessicated.  

Do you suppose rectal rehydration might help?

The Politico Illustrated #37

'Romney unimpressed with emerging GOP field'

"Stand back, oink oink, stand back!"

"Sure, I ripped his flesh, but he deserved

it and it saved lives," said the weasel on 

the Eighth Day of Zappadan.

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #55

Wendy Campbell and Duncan Campbell

Veronica Dunnachie, Local Ammosexual and 'Open 

Carry Texas' Activist, Charged with Murdering

 Her Husband and Step-Daughter

ISIS Deploys Decapitation Drones That Don't

Humanely Atomize the Enemy, Just Cruelly 

Beheads Them

"LEAVE THE CIA ALONE!"

If you looked like John Brennan, you would defend

torture, too.

Bob Kerrey's Face Commits Fallacy of 

Argumentum Ad Misericordiam

Romneybus

CRomnibus

Dick Cheney Sez:  "Don't just beat terrorists.  

Eat terrorists!"

Kentucky Ark Encounters Anti-Diluvial Shoal

In the background, Bosch.  In the foreground, more bosh.

Rick Perry Sez:  "Running for the Presidency is not 

an IQ test."

[The Benham brothers obviously agree.]

Warm Scuzzies #518

Douglas Jehl

"Scare quotes are just a CIA gang sign, and, no, they don't 

frighten me."

Jason Chaffetz Sez:  “I have the greatest respect and 

admiration for Congressman Issa, but I don’t intend 

to be Darrell Issa-like.”

[That's like saying, "I have the greatest respect and

admiration for Christ, but I don't intend to be Christ-like."]

'Dick' Cheney Dismisses Senate 'Torture' Report

as 'Load of Crap'

Newt Gingrich was really miffed when he wasn't 

invited to the Seventh Day of Zappadan.

Careful, you wascals!  When he gets vewy, vewy angwy, 

Elmer Fudd sometimes does cwazy things.

"Oh, yeah, everything in the 'torture' report actually 

happened, but it wasn't torture and the end justifies 

the means because it worked."

David Koch Sez:  "Slavery was an important economic and 

social institution in the United States in the 19th century 

and, if I had my way, would still be today."

What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #15

A Low-Colonic Gitmoizer

Warm Scuzzies #517

Lou Anna Simon

Christopher Lee Keeps His Christmas Metal Streak Intact 

with a New Song, 'Xmasstein Must Be Destroyed!'

Sign of the Times #61

Senate Attempts to Discourage

 CIA's Use of Enhanced

Irrigation Techniques

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #63

Benjamin Edelman

Andrea Tantaros Sez:  "We are noisome!"

[Awesomely so!]

"Professor Gruber, are you stupid?"

"Congressman Issa, are you a car thief?"

Dubya sure looks old and pitiful these days.  The least he

could do is trim the hair out of his ears.  That alone would

make him look ten days younger.

Why is it that a man who punched a Monet gets five

years in prison and Dick Cheney is still a free man?

If the FBI charges against Gary Southern stick, he should be 

required to drink a bottle of 4-Methylcyclohexanemethanol,

the poisonous chemical his now-bankrupt company, the

aptly-named Freedom Industries, dumped into the Elk

River, contaminating the water supply for 300,000 

West Virginians.

In a show of solidarity with the CIA, Andrea Tantaros

has officially changed her name to 'Torturo'.

Janitor Mopping Up Blood on the Floor of

CIA Headquarters in Langley, Virginia

Senator McCain's Left Cross Pulverizes Senator Rubio