Butchering a rabbit or making human breast-milk cheese?

Is either more difficult than watching Glenn Beck trying to

replicate one of the late Dr. Gene Scott's dry-erase

whiteboard mashups?

"People often confuse me with an Irish Setter.

No, I'm much more moderate than that. I'm a

Fence Sitter."

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #38

Primordial Slack

Holder's Missing Briefs: Are They Hanes,

Jockey, or Fruit of the Loom?

Texas Board of Education Cuts Thomas Jefferson

Out of Textbooks, Inserts John Calvin Klein

"Hey, David Brooks! Your courageous defense of Liz Cheney

makes me want to fly up your fundament! You OK with that?"

Fearguth and Loathing in the 21st Century #9

Imagine a really sour stomach.

That would be Dan Riehl.

Henry Kissinger Hospitalized in Recently-Added

Tenth Circle of Hell

"In my last race, I was the only competitor, yet

I finished second. There's something really

magical about this 1915 Ford."

Dead-Blogging Nancy Pelosi Putting Final Nail

in Public Option's Coffin

Domestic Tranquility:

What the Framers of the

Constitution Had in Mind

Which is more improbable: sexless hot tubbing with

a 15-year-old (à la Kevin Garn) or inhaleless pot

smoking (à la Bill Clinton)?

The Unexpurgated Bible #35

"And in thy Survival Seed shall all the nations of

the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed

Glenn Beck's voice."

"But I'm an elegant thief! Just ask Michael Lewis!"

"OK, so I'm two-faced. Wanna make something of it?"

"Well, I may be too small to succeed, but

I'm certainly not too big to fail!"

Accused Murderers to Use 'Anti-IRS Insanity Defense'

Favored by Libertarians

TV Exec Claims He Was For 'For'

Before He Was Against 'Against'

Alice in Starbucksland

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #31

Golddigger

The Unexpurgated Bible #34

"And Karl led them into the Plaza Hotel, and He lifted up

His hands and blessed them. Now it came to pass, while He

blessed them, that He was parted from them and carried

up into Heaven."

Karl Rove Defends Waterboarding, Earth Rotates on Its Axis

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #37

American Thinker

"Why not level with the fans, Torii, and admit

that when it comes to being an angel, you're

just an impostor?"

Warm Scuzzies #69

Wright Andrews

Was Jaguar pronounced jag-wahr or jag-yu-wahr?

Trying to decide had left him all tuckered out.

He kept saying, "Yes, we have no bananas,"

but people wouldn't believe him.

(So Long As They Ain't Lesbian)

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #140

Eugene Delgaudio

"What does it look like I'm doing, Daddy-o? I'm

in the groove with Josie and the Pussycats!"

Warm Scuzzies #68

W. Allan Jones

Yes, she looked 15 years younger and felt great

about herself. But she still looked like a cheap

Internet ad.

"Dear God, if my admirers only

knew how much I hate ice!"

It's always two tacos for 99¢ at Jack-in-the-Box, so

why does Eric Massa seem to be one taco short of

a full order?

Michael Steele demonstrating what is now called

the 'Eric Massa Side Headlock Unisex Grope'.

Starbucks customers report they feel much safer

now that armed lardasses are able to protect them

from sign-wielding terrorists.

"Guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns,

guns, guns, guns, and guns! Oh--and

I almost forgot--rifles!"

This Costa Rican doctor says he's ready to give

Rush Limbaugh 'private medical treatment'

whenever he is.

The McCain/Crist Airboat Enters

the Slough of Despond

"I don't give a frack what Supreme Court protocol dictates!

At next year's State of the Union, I plan to look and act like

Spartacus does in Blood and Sand!"

It's almost happy hour, so how about a

Black and Tan served in a bacon mug?

Some people believe galaxies are huge. But, as

this photo taken by the Hubble Space Telescope

clearly shows, they're actually quite small.

"Hey, que pasa, John Roberts, you pinche gringo culero!"

"Roast me! Hang me! Throw me into the briar patch!

Do whatever you please. Only please, Br'er Fox,

please don't 'Primary' me!"

"You can call it 'Asexual Groping',

'Unsexual Groping', or 'Nonsexual

Groping'. Take your pick."

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #36

Culture and Media Institute

What are the odds we would have never known who Liz

Cheney is had she not been the daughter of Dick Cheney?

Roberts Slams Obama

"Believe me, Glenn, even if I had had

15 gin and tonics, I wouldn't grope you!"

"I vote."

"I invade."