Saturday, March 13, 2010

Butchering a rabbit or making human breast-milk cheese?
Is either more difficult than watching Glenn Beck trying to
replicate one of the late Dr. Gene Scott's dry-erase
whiteboard mashups?
"People often confuse me with an Irish Setter.
No, I'm much more moderate than that. I'm a
Fence Sitter."
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #38
Primordial Slack
Holder's Missing Briefs: Are They Hanes,
Jockey, or Fruit of the Loom?
Texas Board of Education Cuts Thomas Jefferson
Out of Textbooks, Inserts John Calvin Klein
"Hey, David Brooks! Your courageous defense of Liz Cheney
makes me want to fly up your fundament! You OK with that?"
Fearguth and Loathing in the 21st Century #9
Imagine a really sour stomach.
That would be Dan Riehl.
Henry Kissinger Hospitalized in Recently-Added
Tenth Circle of Hell
"In my last race, I was the only competitor, yet
I finished second. There's something really
magical about this 1915 Ford."
Dead-Blogging Nancy Pelosi Putting Final Nail
in Public Option's Coffin
Domestic Tranquility:
What the Framers of the
Constitution Had in Mind
Which is more improbable: sexless hot tubbing with
a 15-year-old (à la Kevin Garn) or inhaleless pot
smoking (à la Bill Clinton)?
The Unexpurgated Bible #35
"And in thy Survival Seed shall all the nations of
the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed
Glenn Beck's voice."
"But I'm an elegant thief! Just ask Michael Lewis!"
"OK, so I'm two-faced. Wanna make something of it?"
"Well, I may be too small to succeed, but
I'm certainly not too big to fail!"
Accused Murderers to Use 'Anti-IRS Insanity Defense'
Favored by Libertarians
TV Exec Claims He Was For 'For'
Before He Was Against 'Against'

Friday, March 12, 2010

Alice in Starbucksland
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #31
Golddigger
The Unexpurgated Bible #34
"And Karl led them into the Plaza Hotel, and He lifted up
His hands and blessed them. Now it came to pass, while He
blessed them, that He was parted from them and carried
up into Heaven."
Karl Rove Defends Waterboarding, Earth Rotates on Its Axis
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #37
American Thinker
"Why not level with the fans, Torii, and admit
that when it comes to being an angel, you're
just an impostor?"
Warm Scuzzies #69
Wright Andrews

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Was Jaguar pronounced jag-wahr or jag-yu-wahr?
Trying to decide had left him all tuckered out.
He kept saying, "Yes, we have no bananas,"
but people wouldn't believe him.
(So Long As They Ain't Lesbian)
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #140
Eugene Delgaudio
"What does it look like I'm doing, Daddy-o? I'm
in the groove with Josie and the Pussycats!"

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Warm Scuzzies #68
W. Allan Jones

Yes, she looked 15 years younger and felt great
about herself. But she still looked like a cheap
Internet ad.
"Dear God, if my admirers only
knew how much I hate ice!"
It's always two tacos for 99¢ at Jack-in-the-Box, so
why does Eric Massa seem to be one taco short of
a full order?
Michael Steele demonstrating what is now called
the 'Eric Massa Side Headlock Unisex Grope'.
Starbucks customers report they feel much safer
now that armed lardasses are able to protect them
from sign-wielding terrorists.
"Guns, guns, guns, guns, guns, guns,
guns, guns, guns, and guns! Oh--and
I almost forgot--rifles!"
This Costa Rican doctor says he's ready to give
Rush Limbaugh 'private medical treatment'
whenever he is.
The McCain/Crist Airboat Enters
the Slough of Despond
"I don't give a frack what Supreme Court protocol dictates!
At next year's State of the Union, I plan to look and act like
Spartacus does in Blood and Sand!"
It's almost happy hour, so how about a
Black and Tan served in a bacon mug?
Some people believe galaxies are huge. But, as
this photo taken by the Hubble Space Telescope
clearly shows, they're actually quite small.
"Hey, que pasa, John Roberts, you pinche gringo culero!"
"Roast me! Hang me! Throw me into the briar patch!
Do whatever you please. Only please, Brer Fox,
please don't 'Primary' me!"
"You can call it 'Asexual Groping',
'Unsexual Groping', or 'Nonsexual
Groping'. Take your pick."
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #36
Culture and Media Institute
What are the odds we would have never known who Liz
Cheney is had she not been the daughter of Dick Cheney?
Roberts Slams Obama

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

"Believe me, Glenn, even if I had had
15 gin and tonics, I wouldn't grope you!"
"I vote."

"I invade."