Paul Ryan Lies Low and Lies High to Prep for

Biden Debate

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #150

Steve King and Warner Todd Huston

Benjamin Franklin Discovers the 

Photo ID

To be a patriot in Pennsylvania these days, you have to

show ID to prove it.

Troglodytes, like Erick Erickson, are given airtime on the 

cable networks, like CNN, because they stir controversy 

and attract earballs and eyeballs to the commercials on 

which the networks are based.  First and foremost, the 

cable news networks are corporations whose bottom

 line is to make money and turn a profit.

Warm Scuzzies #321

Emmett C. Burns, Jr.

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #15

Casey Mulligan

Thompson Family, Star of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,

 Still Undecided Who to Vote For in 2012

As TV ratings have demonstrated rather convincingly, who 

needs a President of the United States when you have

Honey Boo Boo?

Not all Republicans are as stupid as John Husted,

Ohio's Secretary of State.  That's not saying a

whole lot, you understand.

Thomas Friedman works for the New York Times and lives

in a multimillion-dollar house.  He is an opinion leader who

wants you to move to the Center.  The Center is where 

nothing ever changes, where Thomas Friedman works for

 the New York Times and lives in a multimillion-dollar house.

Justice Anthony Kennedy Sez:  "I agree with your argument

entirely.  Since Supreme Court justices never sing, there's

no reason whatever for us to be wearing choir robes."

Paul Ryan Emphatically Denies He Ever

Participated in the Pikes Peak International

Hill Climb While Impersonating Mr. Bean

Gina Rinehart's Favorite Hangout

Come to Texas, Drive Like TRON!

In another proud display of his 'Economic Patriotism', 

Professor Glenn Reynolds is flying the Stars and 

Stripes at half mast today in celebration of 'The Awful, 

Awful August Jobs Report'.

“I think John Kerry diminished himself by even mention-

ing my name," Sarah Palin says.  Would to God everyone 

in the media would learn from Senator Kerry's mistake

and never, ever mention her name again!

Humans are always looking for new ways to compete.  The

reason:  so there can be winners and losers.  The idea is

that if you're a winner, you become immortal and won't

die.  Only losers die.

"Arbeit Macht Frei!"

Ross Douthat Sez: "For the most part Obama's 

speech felt surprisingly banal and jury-rigged,

 not nearly douchey enough to suit me."

Paul Ryan Before He Climbed Close to 40 of 

Colorado's Fourteeners

Paul Ryan After He Climbed Close to 40 of

Colorado's Fourteeners

“If you wouldn’t have been at the bar that night, 

none of this would have happened to you,” said 

Judge Jacqueline Hatch (shown above).

"And if I weren't at the Bar of Justice today, I 

wouldn't be lectured to by a self-righteous prig

like you," said the victim of sexual assault by 

a police officer.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #417

Roscoe Bartlett

What three-letter word is not found anywhere in the 

Consitution of the United States?  That's right:  G-O-D.  

Talk about separation of church and state! As the late 

Pastor W. A. Criswell might have said, “This Constitution 

is a figment of some infidel’s imagination.”

World's Worst Yobs #264

Daniel Halper

Nicki Minaj Endorses Mitt Romney

Myth Romney

"I'm gonna Reince this Priebus right outta my hair!"

If she were alive today, Mary McCarthy might say of 

Paul Ryan, "Every word he speaks is a lie, including

 'and' and 'the'."

If humans ate humans, Steve King would be considered

junk food.

World's Worst Yoobs #124

Alexandra Petri

"You say my tax returns have been kidnapped and are 

being held for ransom?  That makes my brain hurt!"

When he claimed he had made "close to 40 climbs of 

Colorado's 'Fourteeners' (14,000-foot peaks)," Paul Ryan 

wasn't saying he had actually hiked all the way to the 

top of these mountains.  He was merely saying he

 had made "close to 40 climbs."  In other words, if he

had walked only ten yards up the trail, he would have

been 'climbing', wouldn't he?

Erick Erickson, Author of The Penis Monologues and 

CNN Affirmative Action Baby, Steps In It Again

Omnipresent God Reportedly Happy to Be Back in

Democratic Party Platform

Mitt Romney has decided to take advice from Allen West

on how to dialogue with the black community.  Romney

apparently wants to see if it's possible for his support 

among African-Americans to drop below 0.0%.

Things to Avoid #25

Gina Rinehart When She's Hungry

Two-Minute Haters #32

Hank Williams, Jr.

Fox News' Brett Baier Asks Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) Why 

There Is No Mention of God, Yahweh, Jupiter, Odin, Allah, 

Shiva, or Quetzalcoatl in the Democratic Party Platform

Bearded Heckler Believes in America, 

But Not in Romney

Tongue Suppresor

Voter Suppressor

Paul Ryan Sez:  "In 1980 under Jimmy Carter, 330,000 

businesses filed for bankruptcy. Last year, under President 

Obama’s failed leadership, 1.4 million businesses filed 

for bankruptcy."  [The correct numbers are:  43,000 

business bankruptcies in 1980, 47,000 in 2011.  Quite

appropriately, when Ryan uttered this lie, he was using

the gesture known as, 'It takes two hands to handle

a whopper'.]

World's Worst Yoobs #123

Alessandra Stanley

R-Money/R-Nay, the Anagram Ticket of the 

Etch a Sketch Party

Haley Barbour Sez:  "I would love for Christie to put 

a hot poker to Obama’s butt."

New McDonald's 'Vegetarian-Only' Restaurant to Be 

Named 'Akbar and McJeff's Tofu Hut'

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #416

Rick Berg

Amy Kremer, Chair of the Tea Party Express, loves her

country more than President Obama does.  That's because

Amy is from Absurdistan and the President is from the

United States.