"Incoming kitchen sink, sir!"

Sheep-on-a-Stick, This Week Only!

"This old fool must think I'm a highflier like he is."

Sign of the Times #26

Charles Manson and Osama bin Laden do. Why not you?

Warm Scuzzies #291

The Heartland Institute

Media Mogul Conrad Black Leaves Prison, Makes

Room for Rupert Murdoch

"What's with the cowboy flip-flops?"

"I'm headed to the Mitt Romney Rodeo."

"Other than getting Elvis Presley's birthday and John

 Wayne's birthplace wrong, my campaign was almost 

mistake free."

Ted Nugent Doing His Popular John Boehner

 'Weepy Time' Impression

'Too Fat to Fly' Fictional Character Sues Southwest Airlines

"I have my eye on you at all times, whether you 

know it or not. Think of yourself as a celebrity with 

the only admirer you'll ever need:  the government." 

Looking for a way to make money while 

drinking Red Dog and checking your email?  

There's a way to do it.  Just ask this guy.

Can you imagine anyone---much less Ken Cuccinelli, the 

Attorney-General of the State of Virginia---accepting a 

'Defender of the Constitution Really Large Plaque Award'

from the National Rifle Association?   Perhaps, but only

 in a Warner Brothers cartoon of the late 1940s directed

by Chuck Jones. 

Some people don't trust Kathleen McKinley because she has 

to use two hands when she shoots at her local Target.

If you have been thinking lately about 'Going 
Constitutional', don't do it.  That's what JT 
Ready did and five people are now dead as 
a result.

Governor Rick Scott of Florida is such a wimp.  If he were

a real man, he would have approved 'open carry' of 

pocket-sized thermonuclear devices at the upcoming

Republican National Convention in Tampa.

On Thursday, there was the usual Dog Blogging, Cat Blogging, 

and Ferret Blogging.  So he decided to do something that had 

never been done before:  Thursday Sleeping Tourist Blogging.

"Speaking just in terms of logical fallacies, Mr. Lankford, 

I would have to say your forehead is a Slippery Slope 

and your Adam's apple is, well, a perfect example of

the Reductio ad Absurdum."

"How happy life could be 

If all of mankind

Would take the time to take 

the journey to the center of the mind."

[Just so long it's not what's left of

Theodore A. Nugent's mind.]

They say Dennis Prous, Nicholas DiMarzio, and Timothy

Dolan put the fear of the Lord into Count Dracula.  But,

quite frankly, that's really hard to believe.

Warm Scuzzies #290

Drug Enforcement Administration

Despite having Erick Erickson on the payroll, CNN has 

hit a ten-year ratings low.   Like Mitch McConnell 

said the other day, “I don’t even know who Erick 

Erickson is, but he has no audience as far as 

I’m concerned.”

'Murder-Suicide or Assassination: Did Veteran J.T. Ready 

Pay the Price for His Daily Constitutional?'

Russell Pearce Sez:  "JT Ready?  I seem to recall someone 

by that name.  But I remember Ethelred the Unready better."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #384

Roland Sledge

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #11

Billy Graham

American Schutzstaffel #10

And then, suddenly, and for no apparent reason, Jonah 

Goldberg began to say repeatedly, "Freeze Dried!  

Freeze Dried!  Freeze Dried!"

JT Ready, Ex-Marine and Big Bud of 

Russell Pearce, Shoots Four (Including

 a 16-Month-Old Child) and Then 

Himself in Gilbert, Arizona

"The shirt?  Oh, sure, it cost $990, but look at it this way:

if I wear it 990 times, that's just a buck each, and that's 

pretty darn cheap!"

John Yoo's Face of Pain

Shep Smith Sez:  “Politics is weird …. and creepy, and 

now I know lacks even the loosest attachment 

to anything like reality.”

Pastor Sean Harris Sez:  "Can I make it any 

clearer?  Dads, the second you see that son 

dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there

 and crack that wrist. Man up. Give them a 

good punch. OK?"

World's Worst Yoobs #119

Naomi Schaefer Riley

Backyard Treasure Hunter in Indiana Gets Stuck in Hole, 

Says He Had Been Inspired to Dig After Watching 

God's Little Acre, Starring Tina Louise

Mitt Romney may have finally crossed the line 

when he began claiming he had won the 

2008 presidential election.

What Happens When You Have Too Much Bilirubin in You

What Happens When You Have Too Much

Silly Rubin in You

Backslappers with Dirty Faces #5

Alan M. Gottlieb

Newt Gingrich Drops Out of Presidential Race, 

National Day of Schadenfreude Declared

Kansas Hunter Mistakes Pal for Wild Turkey, 

Tries Twice to Drink Him

Was Rick Santorum a candidate for the Republican 

presidential nomination, or was he just another 

fanboy of Lindsay Lohan?  Even he wasn't sure.

Former Tim Pawlenty Bagpiper Now Thought to Be Selling 

'John McCain, Foreign Policy Attack Dog' T-Shirts

Romney Spokesman Richard Grenell Resigns Following 

Backlash for Being a Fair-and-Balanced, Openly-Gay 

Sexist Jerk

The main reason Terry Jones wanted to ban Sharia law in the 

United States was because it was the only law powerful 

enough to force to him to convert from being a space

 alien to an earthling.

"Look at the size of my cell phone, for chrissakes!  That should 

tell you that I'm not running for President in 2012.  It's that 

Mormon sackbut player, you know who I'm talking about, 

Mitt Romney."

Mitt Romney Between What Joe Bob Briggs Used to

Call "Dozin' Meskin Bookends"

If Rupert Murdoch is not a fit person to run News Corp., 

where does that leave his soul mate, Arianna Huffington?

Considering a career in 'Lookism'?  If so, you should be 

aware of one of its long-term side-effects.

Bill Nye, the Science Guy, Booed in Waco, Texas, for Saying

 the Moon's Light Is Not Produced by Glow-in-the-Dark 

Green Cheese