"Worst President ever? Well, at least I

outdid my old man."

Three Visions of Paradise

Christian

Muslim

Orangutan

Fearguth's Rules of Order #7

If an orangutan insists on giving you

a piece of its lip, listen politely.

Former Infant Displays Tattoo Awarded for Being a

Gerber's Baby That Didn't Spit Up Strained Spinach

B-1 Bomber Dusting Iraqi Crops

"Your honor, my client would like to enter a plea of

'Not Guilty by Reason of Being Mike Tyson'."

"You told the entire platoon that you were the father of

Nicole Richie's child. So why, Private Bootlicker, was

she named Harlow Winter Kate Madden?"

Why doesn't million-year-old ice show its age?

Pope Benedict Holding Private Audience

with Roger the Shrubber

Sarko the Giant Robbed of Precious Bodily Fluids;

Carla Bruni Rumored to Be Prime Suspect

"Me, the 'Filipino Monkey'? Get real! I wouldn't know

the difference between the Straight of Hormuz and

the Gay of Bangkok!"

In a suit, Chris Matthews looks like Fibber McGee.

In a dress, he looks like Molly.

President Bush is blaming the writers' strike for the

bad jokes he told while on his state visit to Israel.

South Carolina Republican Presidential Debate

Additional Proof That Dinosaurs Still Exist

Fidel had become pessimistic about what America's economic

downturn portended for global sales of Castro caps.

Something told the old man that Officer

Friendly had retired.

Rudy Giuliani has discovered an ingenious method for giving

his campaign staff a 100% tax cut: just don't pay 'em!

Those who live in the Kristol Palace

should not throw stones.

Fred Thompson Before He Took His Metamucil

Fred Thompson After

Iranians Re-Enacting Gulf of Tonkin Incident

Bleggar Raising Funds for RedState 3.0

South Korean Protester Arrested for

Uncovering Unsightly Bellybutton

Silhouette Eating Fatfree Apple

Little Known Fact #4

They didn't know it at the time (some 390 million years ago),

but sea scorpions were taller than the tallest player in the NBA.

The balloons were terrified when they saw the Iranian

speedboats and heard a voice saying, "I am coming to you.

You will explode after a few minutes."

New Hampshire's Republican primary only proved that

more Republicans would rather die with John McCain

than live free with Mitt Romney.

Every time Jose Sand exposed his axillary hairs,

the crowd went wild.

Fearguth's Rules of Order #6

Always yield the right-of-way to pandas eating bamboo.

Michael Jordan, World's Wealthiest Cobbler

Pollsters now say they got the outcome of the New Hampshire

primary so wrong because the voting behavior of ring-tailed

lemurs on Election Day was impossible to predict.

MoDo's Cat

Maureen Dowd Diagnosed with Keratoconjunctivitis Sicca,

Blames Disorder on Hillary Clinton