The Dimming

"Hey, I don't see anything!"

"Of course not, dummy!  It's a Transparent Agenda!"

Jeb Bush Sez:  “If you want to know who I listen to for

 advice on the best fart jokes, it’s my brother George."

Draw Pamela Geller #4

The Termagant

A Peek Inside David Koch's Closet

The ideal Hell for Geraldo Rivera would be sexting with

Pamela Geller while fornicating with her to all eternity.

Two Police Cadets Accidentally Shot in Gun Safety Class

Some Texas residents had begun to believe that Greg

Abbott was using the Jade Helm 15 story as a smoke-

screen behind which he was secretly preparing for

the Invasion of the Neptune Men.

World's Worst Yobs #328

Steve Deace

The Tucker '48

The Tucker '15

Draw Pamela Geller #3

The Shrew

'Audit Finds Pentagon Credit Cards Used for 

Gambling and Ford Escorts'

No Litterbox Required!

According to those in the know, there used to be 26 

Signs of the End Time.  Pat Robertson wearing 

makeup is now number 27.

If 96% of America's millionaires don't think they're 'rich', 

then the word has been emptied of meaning and should be 

terminated.

Rich Lowry Says Pamela Geller Doesn't Send Little 

Starbursts Through His TV Screen and Wants Her

 to Shut Up

Three Peas in a Pod 

Pamela Geller

Anjem Choudary

Sean Hannity

Draw Pamela Geller #2

The Harridan

Pamela Geller says blaming her for the Texas shooting 

is like blaming a woman for her own rape.  No, Pamela, 

blaming you for the Texas shooting is like blaming a

 fool for poking a stick into a fire ant mound, or an

imbecile pouring gasoline on smoldering charcoal.

Draw Pamela Geller #1

The Harpy

Testicle-Biting Cop Charged with Second-Degree 

Joni-Ernsting

Warm Scuzzies #552

Steve McCraw

"It's tunnels, I'm telling you, Walmart tunnels!"

Rictus Miller

Once you've seen one Chaparral High Confederate Emoji, 

you've seen them all.

Dog Suddenly Realizes He Had Chased

This Ball Before

"OOOOk-lahoma, where the wind comes sweepin'

 down the plain!"

Texas GOPers Stunned to Discover Entry to Walmart 

Tunnel in the Middle of Louie Gohmert's Forehead

"Sooo, this is Lime Disease."

The Politico Illustrated #40

'Schock goes underground'

Fearguth's Rules of Order #61

When playing Dodgeball with a Giant Panda, it is 

customary to take a bamboo break every 15 minutes.

Asked why he decided to run for president in 2016,

Huckabee replied,  "All the factors said 'No', but

 my hat said 'Go'."

Huckabee Announces 2016 White House Bid, 

with Focus on Belief, Repentance, and Baptism

"Mike Huckabee, come on down!"

City of Los Angeles Sues Wastewater Wells Fargo for

Polluting the Banking System and Fracking Customers

Panera Ditching 150 Artificial Ingredients to Make

More Room in the Bag for the Sandwich

Kirby Kelley invites us to join him in a 

drink to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.

Walmart Tunnels Turning Texas into

Gigantic Ant Farm

The Cheney Sneer must be hereditary.

President Obama is conspiring with Walmart to dupe Texans 

into believing the Jade Helm 15 Conspiracy Theory which is a 

Red Herring intended to mislead Texans into believing that 

Ted Cruz is part of a False Flag Operation designed to mask 

the Invasion of the Mincemeat Pie People.

Chuck Norris Sez:  "I trusted the government and I'm still

older than dirt.  Moral:  don't trust the government!"

"I told Governor Abbott that when you order the takeover

 of Texas, he would be forced to listen to Ted Cruz read,

in his whiny little voice, Green Eggs and Ham for 21 

hours straight.  You should've heard him begging for

mercy!"

Greg Abbott, Communication Facilitator

"I have just crushed two hummingbirds in my fists!  

Are you listening, Hillary?"

Duck Commander Musical Folds After Only Two

Weeks; Critics Say It Was Just a Bunch of Quacks

"Good evening, friends of the Dinner Sanctum. This is 

Raymond, your host. I'm glad you came tonight, because 

our guests insisted on having each other for dinner."

In Texas history, two slogans stand out:  Remember the

Alamo! and No Gestapo in Bastropo!

Doctor Gogol Sez:  "Optimism is overrated.

Yes, it improves persistence but not

performance."