Saturday, February 13, 2010

Translate 'Ann Althouse' into English and what
do you get? 'This Old House' (but without Bob
Vila and the concomitant remodeling).
"Yes, I'm Greg Mankiw, Professor of Economics at
Harvard University. But that's not my fault."
"You stop calling me Krauthammer and I'll stop
calling you Goldberg! Deal?"
If your idea of justice is that John Thain
will someday die for his sins, you are
confusing justice with fate.
Cialis had given the House Minority Leader two dosing
options. All of a sudden, he realized he had chosen the
wrong one.
"Take my Crocs and my Birkenstocks,
but please don't take my Tevas!"
"Hi, I'm Gregory Girard. Even though I look like
I might be from the Geek Squad, I'm not. No, I'm
a big Sarah Palin fan, love tea parties, and have
an arsenal big enough to fight World War III
"But I don't want to read another word about Sarah Palin!"
"Sorry, Alex, but we here at The Politico are in love with
her and your eyeballs must pay the price."
"Is that so? Well, I was told YOU were the
ugly stick I was beaten with!"
"It's OK to lick me when it's just the two of us, Ma,
but please don't do it when I'm with my friends."
Silver Surfer Steals Show at Winter Olympics
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #132
Nancy Elliott
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #131
Gary Nodler
A Perplexity of Pandas
Experiment with Scotts Miracle-Gro Goes Awry
Calling Michelle Malkin a 'journalist' is like
calling Hannibal Lecter a 'foodie'.

Friday, February 12, 2010

An Obliquity of Zebras
Toyota Launches Major Recall Offensive in U. S.;
NATO Too Busy Fighting Taliban in Afghanistan
to Come to America's Rescue
Annual Lease of U. S. Congress to Monied Interests
Hits Record $3.5 Billion in 2009
"I've been to the mountaintop, progressives, and,
believe me, there's nothing up there for you."
Real fireworks aren't that much fun, actually.
Ask any soldier.
Tea Party Leader Slams Palin as
'Fox in Demon Sheep's Clothing'

Recently-Declassified Photograph #19
Valentine Card, February, 2008

Orthorexia is an obsession with eating only healthy foods.
Lest you succumb to this dining disorder, you may wish to
consider keeping a 'Taco Bell Cheesy Double Beef Burrito
Stuffed Sausage Log Wrapped in Bacon' within easy
walking distance, like, say, in your fridge.
When your last friend is Big Pharma and
you lose him, you're Billy Tauzin.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #130
Debra Medina
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #129
Bryan Fischer
Living with zombies would be a whole lot
easier if they weren't such obnoxious
proselytizers. One bite, and the next
thing you know, you're hooked on
The 700 Club.
Record Snowfall in Fearguth's Front Yard, Global
Warming Cessation Celebration Now Under Way

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Four Frosties of the Snowpocalypse
Had she worked for Blackwater, Ashley Dupre
wouldn't have been called a 'Prostitute'. She
would have been called a 'Morale Welfare
Recreation Specialist'.
Oxymorons for Our Time #23
Senate Intelligence Committee
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #128
Curtis Coleman
What's next? Balloonmageddon?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

"Mirandize me? Go ahead. I dare you!"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #127
Wiley Drake
Warm Scuzzies #60
Donald Douglas
Barack O'Bankster
Once upon a time, 'Made in Japan' was
always good for a laugh.

"Hell, no!"
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #106
"Sarah Palin is many things, but she's not--I repeat,
NOT--prettier than I am!

"I understand you give smokeless cannabis credit for
your best snark, Ann. Would you care to elaborate
on that?"

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Like Fox News, the Gabon Viper has the longest fangs and the
most fair and balanced venom yield of any poisonous snake.
Have you ever wondered why Dick Cheney's upper lip has
a strange arch in it which makes him look a lot like

Rudy Giuliani?
Dead Tree Scrolls #1
"The editors of the Washington Post in the abode of the
gods of knowledge fall down before Marcus Brauchli, and
the cherubim utter blessings. And as they rise up, there is
the divine small voice of Fred Hiatt as he folds his wings
and bows before Neocon, the God of All the Explosions."
"Hey, kids, my repertoire of invective is almost exhausted.
Do you think you might run down to the corner drugstore
and pick up my refill?"
"Less government, more corporations: that's the cure for
all that ails us, America. And now, if you don't mind, I'm
going to suck your brain out with a straw."