The impact of the departure of Glenn

Beck from the mediasphere will likely

rival the impact of the sudden absence

of the Psychedelic Furbys---a Psychedelic 

Furs cover band---from concert stages

around the world.  But what, precisely,

that impact might be is not widely known.

Trojan Rabbit Advisory

Communications chatter indicates that the Killer Rabbit of

Caerbannog, masquerading as the Easter Bunny, may be

thinking of considering the possibility of opening a

second or third front---it can't decide which at

the moment---in the Great War on Easter.

"I've found that after counting all the squares on my

checkered shirt, my vision of America's libertarian

future comes into much sharper focus."

"Because I drink responsibly, just as Jack Daniel, Jim

Beam, and George Dickel did before me."

"You must've scored some really good shit, Jim. 

Got any more?"

Sign of the Times #13

"But, officer, I didn't know that being 'in a zone'

while driving through a zone-free zone was against

the law."

"Sorry, sir, but ignorantia juris non excusat, as

the Romans used to say.  Here's your ticket,

and have a nice day."

Senator Casswell Launches 'Second-Hand Clothes for

Second-Hand Children' Campaign in Michigan

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #299

Bruce Casswell

"Nice shirt, Senator Casswell!  Where'd ya get it---Salvation

Army or Goodwill?"

Zombie Easter Eggs Form Alliance with Ricky Gervais in

Great War on Easter

Senator Kyl Hires Memory Hole Expert to Scrub Planned

Parenthood Gaffe from Congressional Record

Easter Bunny Zombie Sent to Front Lines in

Great War on Easter

Rude Rhymes #48

Putrid Pest

Allen West

Quran-Burning Pastor’s 'Gun' Accidentally Goes Off

in Michigan Pornhouse

Governor Perry Declares April 22-24 'Days of Prayer

for Rain and Federal Assistance in the State of Texas'

Delivered by Armed Predator Drones,

Like the U. S. Is Now Doing in Libya

Time 100 Ranked #21 on The Onion List of

the 100 Most Influential Lists in the World

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #298

Stacey Campfield

"Dear Mr. President,

I have run out of silver bullets that
could bring down gas prices right away.
Sorry.

Yours truly,

The Lone Ranger" 

Mitt Romney Haunted by Past of Trying to Help People with

Halitosis by Means of Individual-Mandate Altoids

"Some people confuse my mouth with the entrance to

Mammoth Cave.  Ha! Ha! Ha!  That might be funny if I

were from Kentucky, instead of South Dakota.  We

don't have caves nearly that big."

Of all signs indicating that it is time for a politician to retire

from the House of Representatives, knuckle-sucking is

the clearest.

If you've ever wondered what a 'Resigned Look'

looks like, here it is.

What if it were true that Rain, the South Korean pop star, is

really, as Time magazine claims, the most influential person

in the world today?  What might this suggest about the shift of

world power from the Western to the Eastern Hemisphere and

from politicians to musicians?

Alfonso Rachel Tea Partyin'

Alfonso Rachel Just Partyin'

Time magazine has just published its annual list

of the 100 most influential people in the world,

and, luckily, you're not on it.  Think about it:

  you could have ended up on the same list with

Saif al-Islam Gadhafi, Kim Jong Un,

Michele Bachmann, Amy Chua, Paul

Ryan, Chris Christie, Anwar al-Awlaki,

Joe Scarborough, Muqtada al-Sadr,

Charles Koch, David Koch, Jamie Dimon,

Michelle Rhee, John Boehner, Benjamin

Netanyahu, and Justin Bieber.  Yes, had

you been on it, you would have had to

spend the rest of your life trying to

explain to your erstwhile friends why

guilt by association is a variation

of the Ad Hominem Fallacy.

Amy Winehouse Better Looking with Steve Buscemi's Eyes 

Than Without Them

While Kyrgyz legislators were sacrificing sheep to rid

parliament of evil spirits, Kyrgyz sheep were sacrificing

spirits to rid parliament of evil legislators.

Micro-Bullfight in a Petri Dish

Buckwheat Shocked to Learn Donald Trump Has

Added 'The Hair Explosion' Salon Chain to His

Investment Portfolio

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #297

Butch Otter

Genealogists Trace Andrew Breitbart's Paternal Line Back

 to Prehistoric Mega Piranha

Andrew Dodge, the Heavy Metal Challenger

to Olympia Snowe in Maine's Republican

Primary, Hires Adviser from Babylon 5

The realization that he was to be tortured no longer by sadistic

Quantico Marines brought a smile to Bradley Manning's face.

Andrew Breitbart Lands Starring Role in

Fuckface, the New Coen Brothers Comedy

"My hairline is not retreating; instead, my forehead is advancing."

Warm Scuzzies #179

Greg Mortensen

Four Dunces in Search of a Stool

Lady Gaga says God gave her the lyrics and melody

of a song He had earlier given to Madonna.  "He

likes my version better," she noted, before asking

for a cigarette and another drink.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #296

Kent Sorensen

The Tea Partiers were so taxed they decided to sit a spell

as Governor Haley tried to light a fire under the 300

people--including media and political operatives--who

showed up for the Tax Day rally.

Even the screened-in porches are 'organic'

at the Petaluma Egg Farm.

Warm Scuzzies #178

King & Spalding

Author of Dress for Failure Makes

Surprise Appearance at the Grammys

"Listen, there's no daylight between the

Tea Party and me ... None."

"Who do you think you are?  John Boehner?"

New Gun-Rights Lobby Comes to Texas

"Texas is reaching its capacity to respond to these emergencies

 and is in need of federal assistance," said Secessionist Texas

Governor Rick Perry. "I urge President Obama to approve our

 request quickly so Texans can continue receiving the

resources and support they need as wildfires remain an

ongoing threat." [Perhaps Governor Perry should ask

'Honorary Texan' Rush Limbaugh for a loan.]

Things That Make Your Skin Crawl #8

"Ivanka has a very nice figure. I’ve said if she

 weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”