Saturday, September 02, 2006

Poopdeck Pappy's Palindromic Twins,
Popeye and Eyepop
Boulder DA Mary Lacy's punishment for the
John Mark Karr fiasco should be having
to watch the Nancy Grace show nonstop
from here to eternity.
When Hurricane John gave the little boy a sack
of lemons, he turned them into lemonade.
Tiger Woods Does the 'Dirty Birdie'
"Yeaaaaagggggh!!! I hate this t-shirt!"
Punk Vocalist Horrifies Audience with
Full Frontal Combover
Greek Basketball Team Feasts on American Hot Dogs
Bowing to public pressure, Jessica Simpson
has become the first celebrity to commit
autostrangulation on The Today Show.

Friday, September 01, 2006

These little angels were grounded when their wings got
waterlogged during a late-summer thunderstorm.
Gag Gift
Child Claims Ann Coulter's Godless: The
Church of Liberalism Is "Dreadfully Boring"
Who Dick Cheney Turns to When He Needs Advice
President Bush on the Third Day After
He Took a No-Farting Pledge
Pigs Wishing They Were in a Blanket
The moment Tina Mansson attached the last tail bone,
the Chasmosaurus skeleton scampered away.
In a brief stopover in Las Vegas, polygamist sect leader
Warren Jeffs added two 'brother wives' to his collection.
At the dress rehearsal, the dress performed flawlessly.
Iggy Pop's musical knowledge is so advanced he
has introduced the concept of 'disintermediation'
into his live performances. "Nothing comes between
me and my amps," he says.
English Lady Protesting the Ban on Protests
Gul'cha the snow leopard says getting all his shots
"ain't no big thang."
After deplaning in Salt Lake City, President Bush gave
reporters a sneak preview of the song and dance he
would later perform with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Will this mean the end for 'movement conservatives'?
When the saints came marching in, they brought
along the Kerbside Busker from Crawford.
Guitarist for Freddy and the Fender Benders
When the muck gets really deep over at
Powerline, there's only one way to deal with
it: the new sport of blog snorkelling.
Chocolate Kissers

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Ana Ivanovic smiled into infinity
and infinity smiled back.
"We have a domestic law prohibiting torture. There are
international prohibitions against torture. We are a party to
the convention against torture. The president has been very,
very clear: This government does not engage in torture.
Nonetheless, if we ever get our hands on Osama bin Laden,
I won't hesitate to write a legal opinion that will justify
cutting off his dick and stuffing it in his festering gob!"

Almost eight feet tall, Yao Defen is reputedly the world's
tallest woman. "How much I would have liked to meet
the world's shortest man, Gul Mohammed, who was less
than two feet tall," she says. "But he died in 1997, at age 36,
from respiratory complications due to heavy smoking. He
was the Marlboro Man for Munchkins, you know."

Star Attraction at the White Supremacist Alligator Farm
At age 13, Aaron Durley is 6-foot-8 and weighs
256 pounds. He is playing first base for Saudi
Arabia in the Little League World Series. Here
he is keeping a watchful eye on baserunner
Ermison Arellano, who is 4-foot-8 and plays
for the team from Venezuela. One technique Aaron
reportedly uses to keep runners from trying to steal
second base is to mutter "Fee-fi-fo-fum" repeatedly.
Charles Krauthammer's Pet Komodo Dragon
Asked what he wants to be when he grows up,
this little appeaser said, "Neville Chamberlain."
Have you ever heard of the Prokopchuk-Zhuk Effect?
Well, this is it.
Some conspiracy buffs are suggesting that this
familiar logo is actually subliminal papist
propaganda. They see it saying, 'Pope Yes'.
After receving a tip from an anonymous caller,
the police were able to find and arrest the
infamous 'cat burglar'.
Senator Ted Stevens is not a big truck. He's a series of tubes
connecting Washington, DC, to Alaska, the GOP Welfare State.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Franklin Mint has announced it will be issuing
a new coin, with the face of George W. Bush on one
side and the face of George H. W. Bush on the other.
When this coin is flipped, it doesn't matter which
side lands face up. Either way, you lose.
Robert Henderson, Nebraska state trooper, joined
the Ku Klux Klan after his wife "divorced him for a
minority." He says he would have joined the
 Andorians had his wife divorced him for
a Klingon.
The Japanese say they would pay good money to see Britney
Spears put her clothes back on.
Donald Rumsfeld, Inventor of the Iraqamatic
Meat Grinder
What General Jackson had won,
President Bush has lost.

Monday, August 28, 2006

These Kashmiri Muslims are swooning at the sight of
a single hair from Muhammad's beard. It's a good thing
the Prophet didn't succumb to all those Gillette ads.
Dressed in his finest poncho, President Bush
gets ready to observe the first anniversary
of Hurricane Katrina, rain or shine.
When Michelle Malkin needs to contact the Ace
of Spades HQ, she communicates nonverbally.
If she uses words, Ace gets an erection lasting more
than four hours and has to call his doctor.
In the middle of his famous address aboard the USS Abraham
Lincoln on May 2, 2003, President Bush mysteriously said, "It's
crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide." As it turns out,
those were the only words he uttered that day which turned
out to be true.
Man Eradicating the Last of Michael Chertoff's
Fingerprints from the Scene of the Crime He
Committed Last Year at the Superdome
No tent in Afghanistan is complete without a
portrait of Hamid Karzai. No home in America
is complete without a Bush dartboard.
This is a publicity still from a new docudrama about
President Bush's response to Hurricane Katrina last year.
The title is 30 Seconds Over New Orleans.
Pricasso says he derived his theory of painting
from something he once read on a restroom wall:
'The heat of the meat is inversely proportional to
the angle of the dangle and directly proportional
to the mass of the ass .'