Poopdeck Pappy's Palindromic Twins,

Popeye and Eyepop

Boulder DA Mary Lacy's punishment for the

John Mark Karr fiasco should be having

to watch the Nancy Grace show nonstop

from here to eternity.

When Hurricane John gave the little boy a sack

of lemons, he turned them into lemonade.

Tiger Woods Does the 'Dirty Birdie'

"Yeaaaaagggggh!!! I hate this t-shirt!"

Punk Vocalist Horrifies Audience with

Full Frontal Combover

Greek Basketball Team Feasts on American Hot Dogs

Bowing to public pressure, Jessica Simpson

has become the first celebrity to commit

autostrangulation on The Today Show.

These little angels were grounded when their wings got

waterlogged during a late-summer thunderstorm.

Gag Gift

Child Claims Ann Coulter's Godless: The

Church of Liberalism Is "Dreadfully Boring"

Who Dick Cheney Turns to When He Needs Advice

President Bush on the Third Day After

He Took a No-Farting Pledge

Pigs Wishing They Were in a Blanket

The moment Tina Mansson attached the last tail bone,

the Chasmosaurus skeleton scampered away.

In a brief stopover in Las Vegas, polygamist sect leader

Warren Jeffs added two 'brother wives' to his collection.

At the dress rehearsal, the dress performed flawlessly.

Iggy Pop's musical knowledge is so advanced he

has introduced the concept of 'disintermediation'

into his live performances. "Nothing comes between

me and my amps," he says.

English Lady Protesting the Ban on Protests

Gul'cha the snow leopard says getting all his shots

"ain't no big thang."

After deplaning in Salt Lake City, President Bush gave

reporters a sneak preview of the song and dance he

would later perform with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Will this mean the end for 'movement conservatives'?

When the saints came marching in, they brought

along the Kerbside Busker from Crawford.

Guitarist for Freddy and the Fender Benders

When the muck gets really deep over at

Powerline, there's only one way to deal with

it: the new sport of blog snorkelling.

Chocolate Kissers

Ana Ivanovic smiled into infinity

and infinity smiled back.

"We have a domestic law prohibiting torture. There are

international prohibitions against torture. We are a party to

the convention against torture. The president has been very,

very clear: This government does not engage in torture.

Nonetheless, if we ever get our hands on Osama bin Laden,

I won't hesitate to write a legal opinion that will justify

cutting off his dick and stuffing it in his festering gob!"

Almost eight feet tall, Yao Defen is reputedly the world's

tallest woman. "How much I would have liked to meet

the world's shortest man, Gul Mohammed, who was less

than two feet tall," she says. "But he died in 1997, at age 36,

from respiratory complications due to heavy smoking. He

was the Marlboro Man for Munchkins, you know."

Star Attraction at the White Supremacist Alligator Farm

At age 13, Aaron Durley is 6-foot-8 and weighs

256 pounds. He is playing first base for Saudi

Arabia in the Little League World Series. Here

he is keeping a watchful eye on baserunner

Ermison Arellano, who is 4-foot-8 and plays

for the team from Venezuela. One technique Aaron

reportedly uses to keep runners from trying to steal

second base is to mutter "Fee-fi-fo-fum" repeatedly.

Charles Krauthammer's Pet Komodo Dragon

Asked what he wants to be when he grows up,

this little appeaser said, "Neville Chamberlain."

Have you ever heard of the Prokopchuk-Zhuk Effect?

Well, this is it.

Some conspiracy buffs are suggesting that this

familiar logo is actually subliminal papist

propaganda. They see it saying, 'Pope Yes'.

After receving a tip from an anonymous caller,

the police were able to find and arrest the

infamous 'cat burglar'.

Senator Ted Stevens is not a big truck. He's a series of tubes

connecting Washington, DC, to Alaska, the GOP Welfare State.

The Franklin Mint has announced it will be issuing

a new coin, with the face of George W. Bush on one

side and the face of George H. W. Bush on the other.

When this coin is flipped, it doesn't matter which

side lands face up. Either way, you lose.

Robert Henderson, Nebraska state trooper, joined

the Ku Klux Klan after his wife "divorced him for a

minority." He says he would have joined the
 Andorians had his wife divorced him for
a Klingon.

The Japanese say they would pay good money to see Britney

Spears put her clothes back on.

Donald Rumsfeld, Inventor of the Iraqamatic

Meat Grinder

What General Jackson had won,

President Bush has lost.

These Kashmiri Muslims are swooning at the sight of

a single hair from Muhammad's beard. It's a good thing

the Prophet didn't succumb to all those Gillette ads.

Dressed in his finest poncho, President Bush

gets ready to observe the first anniversary

of Hurricane Katrina, rain or shine.

When Michelle Malkin needs to contact the Ace

of Spades HQ, she communicates nonverbally.

If she uses words, Ace gets an erection lasting more

than four hours and has to call his doctor.

In the middle of his famous address aboard the USS Abraham

Lincoln on May 2, 2003, President Bush mysteriously said, "It's

crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide." As it turns out,

those were the only words he uttered that day which turned

out to be true.

Man Eradicating the Last of Michael Chertoff's

Fingerprints from the Scene of the Crime He

Committed Last Year at the Superdome

No tent in Afghanistan is complete without a

portrait of Hamid Karzai. No home in America

is complete without a Bush dartboard.

This is a publicity still from a new docudrama about

President Bush's response to Hurricane Katrina last year.

The title is 30 Seconds Over New Orleans.

Pricasso says he derived his theory of painting

from something he once read on a restroom wall:

'The heat of the meat is inversely proportional to

the angle of the dangle and directly proportional

to the mass of the ass .'