Silly Sally Kern

Fearguth takes the Nocturnal Festival seriously,

but not as seriously as this fan from Philly.

Fearguth is mostly a diurnal creature, but

this weekend will be an exception.  As a

result, his blog posting will be infrequent

and erratic until Monday, May 2.

If being a 'natural-born citizen' somehow makes

 a person better or smarter or more talented,

why hasn't it it worked for Joseph Farah?

Why more people want Androids than

iPhones is easy to understand.

"The man in the funny hat, Congressman

West, says he's come to take you away,

ha-haaa!"

"I am really proud. I am really honored. I feel

I've accomplished something really, really

important that no one else was able to do. And

that was to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt,

that I have completely lost my mind!"

Patient Emits Potentially Harmful Gas;

Hazmat Called to Area Hospital

New Life Form Discovered at Truck Stop

"If you truly believe Atlas Shrugged: Part 1 flopped because

 the critics panned it, perhaps you should cast Adam Sandler

in the role of Henry Rearden for Part 2.  Sandler, as you must

know, is absolutely critic-proof." 

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #300

Carl Seel

Will Jerome Corsi's new book have the

shortest shelf-life in publishing history?

San Francisco May Vote on Circumcised Banana Ban

Scientologists Buy Hollywood Studio, Threaten to

Make Sequel to Battlefield Earth

Critics of Barack Obama's 'Long-Form Birth

Certificate' Say It's Still Not Long Enough

 to Suit Them

CIA Director Panetta to Take Over Pentagon; Petraeus

to be Nominated for CIA; Eli Whitney Remembered for

Patenting Process for Manufacturing Interchangeable

Parts

Oxymorons for Our Time #99

Smartphone Etiquette

World's Worst Yobs #219

James Pethokoukis

Oxymorons for Our Time #98

High-Level Business Dealings

Magical Depressionism #22

Author of Study Showing That 'Depression Can Be

Good for You' Leaps from Golden Gate Bridge

"We need you to come in and lock shields like the women of

Sparta, and strengthen up the men who are going to the

fight for you. To let these other women know on the other

side — these Planned Parenthood women, the Code Pink

women, and all of these women that have been neutering

American men and bringing us to the point of this incredible

weakness — to let them know that we are not going to have

our men become subservient. That’s what we need you to

 do.  Because if you don’t, then our nation's annual

gonad deficit will continue to grow."

Warm Scuzzies #180

Hal Rogers

In demanding to see Barack Obama's student records at

Columbia and Harvard, Donald Trump has taken a step

beyond Birtherism, which is to say, he is now also a

Transcripter.

It was said of Haley Barbour, "He

had the belly, but not the fire."

Atlas Shrugged and The Moviegoer Stayed Home

Sensing that the world is spinning out of control and nations

aren't behaving as they should, President Obama is giving

serious consideration to imposing sanctions on the entire planet.

Darwinopterus Modularis About to

Have a Dembskiornis Billi for Lunch

The most distinctive characteristic of the Trumpfish

is a mouth that never closes.

Do you imagine Donald Trump sucks

as hard as he blows?

Despite the fact that the corporation he

oversees has lost approximately $1 billion

over the past 15 months, Gerard Arpey,

Chairman and CEO of AMR, the parent

company of American Airlines, received

over $5 million in total compensation in

2010, which was 11% more than he

 received the year before.  See how

this works:  company makes money,

you get a raise; company loses

money, you get a raise.  That

old Invisible Hand is such a

clever prestidigitator!

As the curtain rises, Gram'ma Funk

is flexing her musical pecs.

Oxymorons for Our Time #97

Smart Dumbbells

Straight Outta 1984

World's Worst Yobs #218

Andrew Stuttaford

Even as an infant Mr. Bean didn't know how

to spell 'stromuhr'.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #128

President Obama Uses Atomic Brain to

Determine That Bradley Manning "Broke

the Law"