Mama had warned her Spud was a masher.

Take No Thought for the Morrow

So good you'll want to read it twice.

New Coronavirus Edition

So Much Winning!

It's time for a little 'Regime Change'

in the U. S., don't you think?

"Soon will the season of rescue be o'er,

Soon will they drift to eternity's shore;

Haste, then, my brother, no time for delay,

But throw out the life line and save them today."

Trump Signs Landmark 'Social Distancing Act of 2020'

Laid off by PBS, Kermit the Frog was forced

to take drastic measures.

Welcome to Seattle!

"More VENTILATORS, you fool, not PERCOLATORS!"

That's pretty obvious.

If he sees his shadow when he emerges, Biden 

will suspend his presidential campaign

 for another six weeks.

Are you listening, old timers?

Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam (Closeup)

Take One for the Gipper, Oldtimers!

What? Jethro Q. Walrustitty, leader of England's Silly

 Party, has tested positive for the coronavirus?

As someone has wisely observed, “In ancient times cats

 were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”

Even if their owners didn't understand the concept of

Social Distancing, their cats did.

Remember Tangerine Dream, "one of the most influential 

electronic groups of all time?"  Well, this isn't that band,

but the skin tone is tangerinesque.

Hoarding Made Easy

The Five Stages of Dan Patrick's Grief

1. "I'm not dead."

2. "I'm getting better."

3. "I feel fine."

4. "I think I'll go for a walk."

5. "I feel happy, I feel happy!"

Q:  "How do you pronounce Karma?"

A:   "Ha-ha-ha!"

The Sean Hannity mask will not protect you

from the coronavirus, but it will make it

easier for your friends to comply with

social distancing regulations.

As President Dwight Eisenhower might have said, 

"We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted

 influence by the Mortuary-Funeral Home Complex."

Greg Abbott and Rick Perry Searching the Scripture 

(King James Version) to See If the COVID-19 Epidemic

 Was Prophesied in the Book of Ezekiel

Trump Can’t Decide Whether to Blame China or Obama

 for the Coronavirus

Those Darn Republicans

Man Repurposes Safe-Sex Outfit

for COVID-19 Epidemic

"Honey, did you see that they've updated

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?"

Over 900 people died in Jonestown from drinking

 Jim Jones's Kool-Aid.  How many will die from

 drinking Trump's Kool-Aid on Easter Sunday?

A Trumpnik Faces the Music

People were burned out on Batman movies, so it was

time for the new Batboy horror movie franchise.

"This is not God’s abandonment wrath nor His cataclysmic 

wrath, rather it is sowing and reaping wrath,” Pastor

 Drollinger declared. And then he took up a collection.

The next time you have a serious medical issue, be sure 

to check first with Donald Trump, M.D.

Warm Scuzzies #915

Kevin Cramer

If you ever get close to Trump,

you're gonna get screwed.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #802

Ralph Drollinger

Republicans want to drop a Neutron Bomb on the coronavirus.  

Sure, it will kill people, but it will save their property, 

including their 401(k)s.

Contrary to Einstein, God does play dice.  It's his

favorite game.

All I See Is Hatred of Me

Waiting for a Royal Flush

Q:  "What's with the long line?"

A:  "Oh, it's just people waiting to die for the Dow."

Once a Rodeo Clown, Always a Rodeo Clown

Brit 'Smiler' Hume says it's an 'entirely reasonable 

viewpoint' to expect grandparents to die for the

Dow.  Hume, who will turn 77 in June, looked 

positively pouty when some irreverent oldster

 shouted, "You first, Brit!"

Warm Scuzzies #914

Scott McMillan

Since Trumpniks regard him as the Chosen One, why 

doesn't Trump simply cast out the coronavirus the 

way Jesus cast out demons?

Shelter in place now, or shelter in place later?

It's your choice.

God Looking Forward to This Clusterfuck, Says He's 

Been Meaning to Thin This Herd Anyway

As any dog will tell you, learning how to use a knife and fork 

is harder than it looks.