“I despise you people, and I’m not the guy you come in 

and dump on without getting punched in the mouth.”

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #142

John Hawkins and Dick Armey

Rush Limbaugh, who is 61, says, "If I had a daughter, 

she would look like Ann Romney" (who is 63).  How 

exactly would that work? 

Q:  "What's the difference between a Welfare Queen and

Ann Romney?"

A:  "A Welfare Queen has only one Cadillac."

How can you tell the difference between a 

Mormon Baptismal Font and a Jacuzzi?

"A Gingrich presidency will submit to the United Nations 

a treaty that extends the right to bear arms as a human 

right for every person on the planet because every 

person on the planet deserves the right to defend 

themselves from everyone else bearing arms."

"I would shake hands with you, but we're in Tennessee and 

handshakes are considered a 'gateway sexual activity'."

Mitt Romney Gets Ready to Court the NRA

"Yes, Roger, I'm aware of the War on

Caterpillars, but, sorry, only good 

caterpillars get to become butterflies."

"Why is Joe Lieberman all diked out?"

"Didn't you hear?  Joe Klein has just been

named 3rd Runner-Up for 'Wanker of the

Decade'!"

U. S. Cuts Food Aid to North Korea, Hits Kim Jong-Un 

Square in the Breadbasket

Ralph Shortey Sez:  "I'm in oil and gas.  I was out on a lease

 at one time and I got attacked by a turkey. Wait until you 

get attacked by a turkey. You will know the fear that a 

turkey can invoke in a person. And so I beat it with a 

club. That was all I could do. I wish that I had a gun 

with me.”

Even anagrams of 'Reince Priebus' are funny.  How about

'Curb Eerie Spin'?  Or 'Epic Rube Risen'?

When she began to light one cigarette off another, 

it was looking more and more like she had 

developed a bad habit.

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #8

Jim Goad

Sign of the Times #25

Paul Ryan Conclave of the Sacred Heart

Backslappers with Dirty Faces #4

William Howell

What a Way to Start the Day!

I Remember Dubya #54

"You know, I love to mountain bike ride.  What I don't 

like to do is be beaten on a mountain bike ride by 

a one-legged veteran, but it's likely to happen."

"Kate Winslet's Titanic Breasts Censored in China"

It is untrue that Ann Romney has never

worked outside the home.  When she first

met Mitt, Ann was working as a docent in

Dracula's Castle.

Axl Rose Declines Induction into 

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos

Ever wonder what a Card-Carrying 

Marxist-Lennonist looks like?

What to Wear When You Go to

Burger King for a Bacon Sundae

Guess who's not smiling today.

Mark Halperin seemed to be unaware that he had been

named the 4th Runner-Up for 'Wanker of the Decade'.

Our Motto:  "The NRA Is for Pussies!"

Hindenburg Crashes Again, This Time

in New York During Bruce Springsteen

Concert

Sign of the Times #24

First They Came for Lugar

White Tail-Gunner

Black Tail-Gunner

Tennessee Opens Door to Cremationism in Schools

Fox News needs your help in deciding who won the

Lincoln-Douglass Debates of 1858.

Inspired by endorsements from Sarah Palin and Herman Cain, 

and in an attempt to further bolster his vice-presidential 

credibility, Representative Allen West (R-FL) said today

 he's heard that as many as 80 Democrats in the House of 

Representatives are members of the Communist Party.

Chimp Unconcerned That Smoking Menthol Cigarettes 

Doubles the Risk of Stroke

Lard-Ass Says Americans Turning into 

Couch Potatoes

"I love you, too, Mom, but there comes a 

time when we younger koalas need more 

breathing space."

Teen Pregnancies Highest in States with Abstinence-Only 

Policies; Other States Expected to Fall in Line, Finally 

Acknowledging These Policies Really Work

"So what if you're a homo, Elton!  All 

that matters is you're a rich homo!"  

Arizona Legislature Trying to Determine Whether

 the Mother of God's Immaculate Conception 

Occurred After the First Day of the Last 

Menstrual Period of Anne, Her Mother, or 

Two Weeks Before Joachim, Her Father, 

Shot His Wad in Vain

The only problem with the Falcon Waterfree Urinal was 

that it bore a strong resemblance to Rush Limbaugh.

'Bush Tax Cuts' Renamed, Will Now Be Called

 'Reagan Memorial Tax Cuts'

 

The sudden and precipitous decline in sweater vest sales 

caught Rick Santorum completely off guard.  Spring had 

come early that year because of the Global Warming 

Hoax.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #380

Joe Horn

The Good News

  Chris Wallace is 64.

The Bad News

If he lives as long as his father, he might still be 

shoveling bullshit for Fox News in 2040.

"Remember Chris Lee?"

"No, 'fraid not."

"Well, it's probably because you never saw

him with all his clothes on."

No matter how hard the Jersey Samson pushed, 

the Walls of Dagon would not fall down.

This is NOT a caricature of Chris Christie.

All the other pictures you've seen of the

New Jersey governor ARE caricatures.

"Yes, I realize Sheriff Babeu is tailgating me, 

but he means no harm."