Saturday, July 30, 2016

"Party of Lincoln?  Bah! Humbug!"
Even in Bedlam, Larry Klayman really didn't fit in.
"Some mornings I wake up a Hard-Shell Republican 
and some mornings an Independent."
"Independent?"
"You know, a Soft-Shell Republican."
"I’m terrified of Donald Trump. I’m terrified of Hillary
 Clinton. And there are days when I'm terrified of myself!"
"I give Obama tremendous credit.  It's just too bad he
was born in Kenya."
Rightbloggers and Other 
Internet Biohazards #154
Liberty News Now
Warm Scuzzies #699
Beth Van Duyne
Would somebody please pull Donald Trump's finger?
Trump Unable to Crack Ass Ceiling
Frankenstein Brothers Reject Effort to Meet
with Their Monster

Friday, July 29, 2016

"When I was growing up, my mother always told me,
'Do and say the opposite of what Trump does and 
says and you'll be a good little boy'."
Warm Scuzzies #598
Bobby Hughes
"Did the Democratic convention make you feel like a weak 
and useless white male? That's why I didn't watch. I played 
with my Dilbert instead."
Have you looked at Trump's Facebook page lately?
"Yes sir, that's my baby
No sir, I don't mean maybe
Yes sir, that's my baby now."
This Week in WakiLeaks #4
Melania Trump Facing Another Fine PR Mess
Clown Hall #6
Boris Brexit
The Acolyte Beseeches the Dreadlord
Melania Trump's University Diploma Joins Donald
Trump's Tax Returns in Hiding at Undisclosed Location
Trump Takes Evasive Action to Avoid Salvos
 from the Democratic National Convention
James O'Keefe Goes Undercover as a Hillary Supporter
Outside the DNC, Gets Roughed Up by Fellow Ruffians
After reading what Donald Trump said about
hitting him, Michael Bloomberg gave him a book.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

"Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear. 
The Lone Pikachu rides again!"
"Surely you know, Junior, that the line you accuse Obama
of plagiarising from your RNC speech he had used in 2010
and Bush had used in 2001.  Surely."
“Are you being sarcastic?” Kilmeade asked.

“Of course I’m being sarcastic,” responded Trump.
 "I was born sarcastic.  The first words out of my 
mouth in the delivery room were, 'Ma, is this the
 best you can do?'"
World's Worst Yobs #362
Mark Antonio Wright

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Donald Trump Suffers Mascot Blowback
From: The Independent Order of Strange Bed Fellows
To: Republican Party

"Sleep Tight and Don't Let the Bugs Bite"
As he ascended the escalator in Trump Tower, he thought, 
"This must be the Stairway to Heaven because the streets 
there are paved with gold, too. God, how I hate gold!"
It's always good to see logos repurposed, instead of being 
thrown away.
Let's make a deal:  after we lock Hillary up for using a 
private email server, let's put Trump on trial for treason
and then lock him up with Hillary.
Speaker Ryan Sidelined with Case of Late-Onset
Putin Pox
"Hey, Congressman Ryan, if Vladimir Putin is a 'thug', 
what does that make his BFF, Donald Trump, your party's 
nominee for President?"
Because of his cozy relationship with Russia's oligarchs, 
Paul Manafort, Trump's campaign manager, doesn't
 want the world to see Trump's tax returns, either.
True to his word, when Donald Trump
lost the election, Phil Robertson went
into hiding.
After Trump expressed his hope that Russia will 
release Hillary's deleted emails, Lavrentiy Beria 
said he was already on it.
"Like Jonah Goldberg, we Juggalos contain 
'symphonies of bitterness'."
World's Worst Yoobs #168
Scottie Nell Hughes
Leader of the Dovetonsils Wing of the Ernie Bros to 
Recite His 'Ode to Donald the Mean Hillary Hater' 
at the Democratic National Convention
Will Angry Ernie Bros Help Usher in the 
Donald Trump Regime?
Trump Wind Farm
Next Up from Julian Assange and WikiLeaks:
Donald Trump's Tax Returns
According to Bill O'Reilly, the workers who helped 
build the White House had been the black men standing 
on street corners holding 'Will Work for Food' signs.
Will Barron Trump be able to play a round of golf inside 
the White House like he does now in Trump Tower?

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

"Bring me the head of Magilla Gorilla!"
"Mr. Simon, at 72, aren't you a little old
to be wearing a Fake Barf shirt?"
"Ah, how I love the smell of Brylcreem!"
Return with Us to the Days of Yesteryear,
Before the Advent of Pre-Shredded Cheese
Little Known Fact #64
Donald Trump's hair does not do its own stunts.  It 
has a stunt double that moonlights as a groundhog.
Justice Does Not Sleep Forever