Be it resolved that Fearguth celebrate the coming

of the new year by going on Jam Cruise 8. He will

therefore be offline until January 11, 2010.

How to Cure Snoring Once and for All

Warm Scuzzies #49
Anastasia Kelly

World's Worst Yoobs #63
Jo-Ann Armao

Sign of the Times #6
2009 was over, and 2010 was looking iffy.

It was New Year's Eve, and the natives were restless.

The Dark Kristol

Has anybody heard if the bloggers over yonder at RedState

still believe that "Tonight... We Are All Rush Limbaugh"?

Can you think of a better way to celebrate the

last morning of 2009 than eating a Country

Breakfast Parfait?

"I'm packed with protein and lots of wonderful

vitamins and minerals like iron and zinc. Yum!"

Rush Limbaugh Sharply Criticized by Kevin Madden for

Having Chest Pains in Same 'Foreign Place' Where

President Obama Vacations

Rush Limbaugh 'Resting Comfortably' at Honolulu Hospital,

Says Medication for Back Pain 'Really Swell'

Rush Limbaugh Taken to Honolulu Hospital After Acute

Attack of Adhesive Capsulitis (Frozen Shoulder Syndrome)

Latest Innovation in Airport Security
Designed to Foil Crotch Bombers

Five-Megaton Shoe Bomb

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #118
Mike Conaway

Once again, they found themselves at loggerheads

over the issue of who would do the billing and

who would do the cooing.

Oxymorons for Our Time #21

Libertarian Conservative

World's Worst Yoobs #62

Anne Kornblut

Tiger Woods' Wayward Pecker Cost Billions in Stock Market

Fearguth's Rules of Order #40
Always dress appropriately when
undergoing an Airport Body Scan.

When she heard that Karl Rove was
divorced, Rowdy Girl was glad the
playing field had finally been leveled.
"I'd better strike while the irony is hot,"
she thought.

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Rush Limbaugh Reminds Karl Rove That He's Still
One Marriage and One Divorce Behind Him in the
Family Values Sweepstakes

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab: even his name struck
terror into the hearts of pisspant Rightists.

"Doctor, my brain hurts!"

Ship of Teeninsy Fools

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #117

Jack Cashill

Warm Scuzzies #48
Gregory Meeks

"Ooo, ooo, ooo, so Pete loved Sir Allen the Ponzi Schemer,

eh? Sounds to me like he's another Cheetah!"

She had to go all the way to Casablanca to
find him, but Michelle Malkin finally found
the perfect webmaster for Hot Air and all
its gaseous asses.

Adventures in Lexicology #2
Escalatio ('eskəl'eɪʃioʊ), n. 'Going down' on (or 'giving head' to)
the Military-Industrial Complex. Escalatio is also commonly
referred to as 'Sucking Dick Cheney'. [After months of careful
deliberation, the Obama Administration decided to perform
escalatio in the Afghanistan War.]

As you can see, everything is 'off the table' at the moment.
But tomorrow, everything may be back 'on the table'. You
just never know.

Republicans Poised to Begin 'Repeal 20th-Century Campaign'
in 2010; 'Repeal 19th-Century Campaign' Deferred Until 2012

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #28
Be John Galt

"You've heard of the Philosophy of the Open Hand,
haven't you? Well, to hell with that pantywaist
perspective! I'm a champion of the Philosophy of
the Clenched Fist, and don't you ever forget it!"

"Airline officials say in-flight security rules have been eased

after a two-day clampdown. At the captain's discretion,

passengers can once again wear clothing and move about

the cabin during the flight."

This looks like a job for . . . Racket Squad!

Gael Monfils Reacting to 'The JFK Photo That Could

Have Changed History'

Warm Scuzzies #47

Pete Sessions

Wanted: Workers for 2010 Meerkat Census

If you are staring at Medusa's face, you are now

turning into stone. But if you are staring at her tits,
you remain what you were to begin with: a typical

guy with an oral fixation.

"At this point in my life, I really don't give a

flying fig what you think about my chin! I'm

just glad I still have one. And maybe, just

maybe, you'll be as lucky as I am when you

are 64."

As expected, only one of Michael

Jackson's Crystal Shoes was

found by the side of the road.

The whereabouts of its mate is

unknown.

"Does size matter? Yes, but in exactly the

opposite way you are probably thinking

right now!"

Did you know that Senator Michael Enzi (R-WY) is

regarded by his Capitol Hill colleagues as the best

paper shuffler in the 111th Congress?

Michael Reagan Proving He Has a Bigger Mouth Than Either

Ronald Reagan or Jane Wyman, His Adoptive Parents

Salt-N-Pepa: the GOP Generation

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #27

Flopping Aces

Isn't it amazing how the simple expedient

of sucking in your gut changes the shape

of your nose and the length of your shorts?