Wakarusa is the name of a river and a music festival.

It means 'ass-deep'. You could say that Fearguth

will be ass-deep in music for the next four days.

He will return online June 9.

Councilman to Receive a 'Republican Congressional Medal

of Distinction' and a Dinner with President George W. Bush

for Entering Drug Rehab Instead of Jail

But his warranty expires on November 4, 2008.

Last-Minute Deal Struck: Barack to the White House,

Hillary to Mount Rushmore

"I see you've pressed Obama to your bosom. Not much

room left for me, is there?"

It's Obama, Stupid!

The Moment John McCain Discovered He Had

Termites in His Platform

Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) to Wear Panties on His Head

All Week to Prove It's Not Torture

Watery Tart Denies She's the Lady of the Lake

"Smile, you're on Candid Camera."

Why Sasquatch Disappeared

Clinton Prepares to Do ‘Whatever It Takes’ to Get a

Democratic President

Bush Administration Files for License to Dump

Library Waste at SMU

U.S. Opposes Ban on Clusterfuck Bombs, Calls Instead for

'Prophylactic Fixes' That Would Make Them Safer

The Day the Jolly Green Giant Really Stepped in It

"Hey guys, great news! President Bush says McCain's wrong.

We're only going to be in Iraq for 40 years, not 100!"

"Obama's problem is he doesn't seem like the kind of guy

who can go into an Applebee's salad bar and people think

he fits in naturally there. He would seem to be like the kind

of guy who fits in naturally at Soulman's Barbecue."

Bizarre Tree-Hugger Love Triangle Exposed

Q: Where are all these journalists headed?

A: To the bottom. Matt Drudge just flushed his toilet.

"You know, the truth is I honestly don't remember whether I

tried cocaine or not. We had some pretty wild parties back

in the day, and I just don't remember. All I remember is some

crazy dude saying, 'Every time you snort coke, a caduceus

will appear above your head'."

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Just as he had predicted, as soon as the President of Iran put

on his special Anti-Zionist glasses, Israel disappeared.

"Jumping Jemima! Check out these skidmarks!"

And then the judge decreed, "Mr. O'Reilly, for the crime of

unmitigated nincompoopery, I sentence you to five years

of watching--with no breaks--Mitch Berg scarfing down

deep-fried Twinkies. May God have mercy on your soul."

Lindsay Lohan thinks she's been in the spotlight long enough.

Now it's your turn.

Senator Joe Lieberman has adopted the Hagee System of Weights

and Measures, in which One AntiChrist = One Homosexual Jew

Who Annihilates One-Third of the Earth's Population.

The best way to deal with poultrygeists is to just ignore them.

"Kick ass! If somebody tries to stop the march to democracy,

we will seek them out and kill them! We must be tougher than

hell! Our will is being tested, but we are resolute. We have a

better way. Stay strong! Stay the course! Kill them! Be confident!

Prevail! We are going to wipe them out! We are not blinking!

Come Lord Jesus!"

"Forget Scott McClellan. If you want to know the truth

about the Bush Administration, this is the book to read."

Keep On Chooglin'

Keep On Googlin'

Afghan Scarecrows

Bill Clinton Vows to Hold Himself Hostage Until

Hillary Receives the Nomination

"Bernie Kerik says writing unflattering memoirs about working

for the President should be a crime. He thinks Scott McClellan's

disloyalty is sickening. Well, speaking only for myself, if Bernie

were my master and I weren't a dog, I would be disloyal, too."

Thinking of working at Google? Beware: it's a jungle in there.

What Happens When You Mix Beer with Cider

In an unexpected twist of fate, Barack Obama was instantly

beatified when he resigned from Trinity Church.

World's Worst Jobs #81

Chadian Brick Catcher

"You can come on out now. The coast is clear."

“Al-Qaida is essentially defeated in Iraq and Saudi Arabia and

on the defensive throughout much of the rest of the world

including the areas along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border.

We're now in the process of identifying some new enemies of

the United States that will hopefully carry us through the

second decade of the twenty-first century."

Scott McClellan is like the engineer who blew

the whistle after the train was wrecked.

Razing McCain #12

To increase his pandering productivity, Senator McCain
has learnedhow to equivocate and prevaricate out of both 
sides of his mouth.