Thursday, June 05, 2008

Wakarusa is the name of a river and a music festival.
It means 'ass-deep'. You could say that Fearguth
will be ass-deep in music for the next four days.
He will return online June 9.
Councilman to Receive a 'Republican Congressional Medal
of Distinction' and a Dinner with President George W. Bush
for Entering Drug Rehab Instead of Jail
But his warranty expires on November 4, 2008.

Last-Minute Deal Struck: Barack to the White House,
Hillary to Mount Rushmore

"I see you've pressed Obama to your bosom. Not much
room left for me, is there?"

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

It's Obama, Stupid!
The Moment John McCain Discovered He Had
Termites in His Platform
Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) to Wear Panties on His Head
All Week to Prove It's Not Torture
Watery Tart Denies She's the Lady of the Lake

"Smile, you're on Candid Camera."
Why Sasquatch Disappeared
Democratic President

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Bush Administration Files for License to Dump
Library Waste at SMU
U.S. Opposes Ban on Clusterfuck Bombs, Calls Instead for
'Prophylactic Fixes' That Would Make Them Safer
The Day the Jolly Green Giant Really Stepped in It
"Hey guys, great news! President Bush says McCain's wrong.
We're only going to be in Iraq for 40 years, not 100!"
"Obama's problem is he doesn't seem like the kind of guy
who can go into an Applebee's salad bar and people think
he fits in naturally there. He would seem to be like the kind
of guy who fits in naturally at Soulman's Barbecue."
Bizarre Tree-Hugger Love Triangle Exposed
Q: Where are all these journalists headed?
A: To the bottom. Matt Drudge just flushed his toilet.
"You know, the truth is I honestly don't remember whether I
tried cocaine or not. We had some pretty wild parties back
in the day, and I just don't remember. All I remember is some
crazy dude saying, 'Every time you snort coke, a caduceus
will appear above your head'."

Monday, June 02, 2008

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Just as he had predicted, as soon as the President of Iran put
on his special Anti-Zionist glasses, Israel disappeared.
"Jumping Jemima! Check out these skidmarks!"
And then the judge decreed, "Mr. O'Reilly, for the crime of
unmitigated nincompoopery, I sentence you to five years
of watching--with no breaks--Mitch Berg scarfing down
deep-fried Twinkies. May God have mercy on your soul."
Lindsay Lohan thinks she's been in the spotlight long enough.
Now it's your turn.

Senator Joe Lieberman has adopted the Hagee System of Weights
and Measures, in which One AntiChrist = One Homosexual Jew
Who Annihilates One-Third of the Earth's Population.
The best way to deal with poultrygeists is to just ignore them.
"Kick ass! If somebody tries to stop the march to democracy,
we will seek them out and kill them! We must be tougher than
hell! Our will is being tested, but we are resolute. We have a
better way. Stay strong! Stay the course! Kill them! Be confident!
Prevail! We are going to wipe them out! We are not blinking!
Come Lord Jesus!"
"Forget Scott McClellan. If you want to know the truth
about the Bush Administration, this is the book to read."
Keep On Chooglin'

Keep On Googlin'

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Afghan Scarecrows
Bill Clinton Vows to Hold Himself Hostage Until
Hillary Receives the Nomination
"Bernie Kerik says writing unflattering memoirs about working
for the President should be a crime. He thinks Scott McClellan's
disloyalty is sickening. Well, speaking only for myself, if Bernie
were my master and I weren't a dog, I would be disloyal, too."
Thinking of working at Google? Beware: it's a jungle in there.
What Happens When You Mix Beer with Cider
In an unexpected twist of fate, Barack Obama was instantly
beatified when he resigned from Trinity Church.
World's Worst Jobs #81
Chadian Brick Catcher
"You can come on out now. The coast is clear."
“Al-Qaida is essentially defeated in Iraq and Saudi Arabia and
on the defensive throughout much of the rest of the world
including the areas along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border.
We're now in the process of identifying some new enemies of
the United States that will hopefully carry us through the
second decade of the twenty-first century."
Scott McClellan is like the engineer who blew
the whistle after the train was wrecked.
Razing McCain #12
To increase his pandering productivity, Senator McCain
has learnedhow to equivocate and prevaricate out of both 
sides of his mouth.