Faced with the prospect of meeting the unfiltered public at the

University of Pennsylvania, bravely bold Eric Cantor ran away.

Michele Bachmann Adopts New Staffless, Prayer-Centered

Strategy in New Hampshire GOP Primary

What Republican Racists in Alabama Look Like

Republicans Salivating for Marco Rubio

to Join the Ticket in 2012

Nation Wondering How 23 Flavors Can

Fit Inside 10 Calories

Michele Bachmann knew something was up when all of her

 associates began talking about her presidential candidacy

in the past tense.

Obama Administration Announces Withdrawal of All

U.S. Forces from Iraq, Except for Lindsey Graham

Imagine a mad Iowan and you've imagined Steve King.

Slaves of Social Security Begging to Be Freed from Immoral

and Oppressive Retirement Program

Man Realizes Lifetime Dream of Visiting Chicago's Field

Museum, Home of 'America's Best Restroom'

Texas Man Charged with Rarely-Committed Crime: 

Assault with a Deadly Frozen Armadillo

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #59

Land of the Dead 2:  Gaddafi Takes Command

It's About Time

Amy Kremer, Chair of Tea Party Express, Associated with

Litigation Aimed  at Dumping Tea Party Patriots

into Boston Harbor

You can almost hear the whinny.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #340

Melissa Brookstone

Warm Scuzzies #229

Doug Schoen

Granted, a butterfly's life is relatively short, but think

of it as a human life with all the boring parts taken out.

"Obama put us in Libya and now he's putting us

 into Africa. Before you know it, he'll be putting

 us into Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan."

For someone who disapproves of gays and opposes gay rights,

Michele Bachmann sure cried 'Anderson, Anderson, Anderson!'

a lot in last night's debate.

Two-Minute Haters #22

Jonah Goldberg

Hawk

Cheap Hawk

"Romney's taken the gloves off, I'm telling you, he's taken

the gloves off!"

Unemployed Masochists Loudly Cheer Herman Cain's

'Blame the Jobless' Line at GOP Debate

Deficit Panel Floundering

The Protest Sign That Gave Wall Street

the Panjandrum Shudders

NYPD Strips Tony Baloney of 10 Vacay Days, Thereby Giving

Him Extra Time to Pepper Spray OWS Demonstrators

Representative Joe Walsh (R-IL) didn't keep up

payments on his condo, so it was foreclosed.  He

 failed to pay his auto insurance bill, so his license

was suspended.  And he didn't pay his dental bill

on time, so his dentist wired his mouth open.

Warm Scuzzies #228

Randy Bernard

Goldman Sachs Loses $428 Million in Third Quarter, 

But Still Can't Lose Lloyd Blankfein

Already she could see Ed Rollins' Legion of Dead Pixies, like

ghosts in the darkness, stretching as far as her eyes could see.

Q: How can you tell when Herman Cain

is joking and when he isn't?

A: You can't, because even he can't.

Herman Cain Says His Deadly Fence Plan Was

"A Joke Joe Arpaio Apparently Didn't Catch"

When you hear that a 'protest turns violent', that simply

means that the protesters start acting like the police.

Warm Scuzzies #227

Johnny Cardona

Remember Jethro Q. Walrustitty, a leader in Great

Britain's Silly Party?  Well, Herman Cain is his

counterpart in the United States.

First, Republican Randy Hopper's wife signed the 

Wisconsin recall petition.  Second,  he lost in the

recall election.  Third, he was arrested for DUI

in the company of his girlfriend.  Fourth, he is

thought to be giving serious consideration to

running for president on the Rum, Romanism,

and Rebellion ticket.

Levi Miller and Johnny Mullet Evicted from 'Amish Paradise'

One Month In, Protests Yet to Topple Capitalism or

Cure Cancer

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #111

Trevor Loudon

Like the Roach Motel, when you check in to

the Bates Motel, you don't check out.

OK, admit it:  you've probably already forgotten

all about Nadya Suleman's 'New Bikini Body!'

But, not to worry:  that's just a 'sin of omission',

not nearly as bad as a 'sin of commission'.

"Congratulations, sir!  Not only have you exceeded every

qualification spelled out on your application to be a Hedge

Fund Manager on Wall Street, but your hands are just hairy

enough to assure your admission to Cipriani Wall Street®."

Michele Bachmann tells us that Ronald Reagan is "one of

 my great economists that I admire", unlike John Maynard

Keynes, "one of my great presidents that I don't admire."

"Hi, I'm from the 5th Dimension.  We

 were popular in the 1960s."

She had shaken everything she had---her body, her mind,

her soul, her spirit---and then she discovered Shakeweight.

Were it not for the wooden stake in his heart, Count Dracula

would, like Governor Rick Perry of Texas, just try to get

up every night and do his job.

"This is my gun. It makes me feel invincible.  And then

a guy with a bigger gun comes along."

When Walking in Style Is No Longer an Option, But

Riding in Style Still Is