George the Forty-Third and George the Forty-First Sending You

Their Best Wishes from Castle Kennebunkport

"Soldier, stop acting like a bullfrog on a trampoline

and get back in line!"

Minnie Mouse Consoling Pluto After His Demotion

The medical student wanted to say, "No," but couldn't.

"Great Scott, it's true! Karl Rove really IS

Buddha's Brain."

Johannes Rose is credited with having introduced the

'couch potato' style of base jumping.

Pitchman Getting Ready to Appear on The Knife Show

Alex Rodiguez demonstrates his unorthodox

batting technique.

"Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

Q: When you are fish-slapped,

what does it mean?

A: It means you're in a Monty Python sketch and are

too young to remember.

From the Pacific Northwest, we hear that Gerard Van der Leun
has launched another rocket into the blogosphere. Initial
reports say it flew up his own fundament and blew the Seattle
patrician into more plebeian parts than could be counted.

This is a typical middle-income house in Togoland.

Architecturally speaking, it is a blend of styles:

New Mexican pueblo, African termite mound, and

Hobbit house. Right now, its owner is losing sleep,

worried that the real-estate bubble may finally be

getting ready to bust.

During the current heat wave in Dallas, pigeons have

have been able to survive, thanks to a generous donation

of cool water from the Rock Dove Conservancy.

Now that we know President Bush is fond of flatulence,

here's a photograph of his favorite comfort food:

Beanie Weenies on a Bun.

Neldys Truffir was undaunted, but Amanda Ortiz was terrified

at the sight of the Yellow Orb from the Natatorium.

The man from Shanghai didn't notice the sign above the

door, which read, 'Welcome to Dante's Inferno. Please

abandon all hope as you enter and get ready to really

get down'.

Upper Caste Medical Students Protesting Against

Indian Proposal Benefiting Lower Caste Medical

Students in World's Largest Democracy

Space tourist Anousheh Ansari couldn't

believe how thorough the security check

was. She wondered if it had anything to do

with the fact she was an Iranian-American.

When the little boy was told to carry a black chicken

around the church three times, he didn't complain.

But when his Mom tried to bathe him in the cold

water of the Atlantic, he let it be known far and wide

that San Bartolomeu Day sucks.

Woman Complains Her Apartment

Building Hyperventilates

“As you remember, Rockey, I was down there at the

end of the road in Plaquemines Parish when the storm hit.

Katrina blew me all the way back to Crawford. Wow! That

was the best blow job I've ever had!”

"The United States v. The World:

Don't miss the next Oil Wrestling

Deathmatch on DirecTV Pay-Per-View!"

An illegal immigrant in the Democratic Republic of the Congo

betrayed his country of origin today when he put on a

Joseph Kabila mask, pointed at his head, made a corkscrew

motion with his right hand, and said, "El jefe es loco en la cabeza!"

This is a baby albino pygmy marmoset. Add

one more adjective to this monkey and you

could only see it with a magnifying glass.

Asked why he refused to accept the equivalent of

a Nobel Prize in Mathematics, Grigori Perelman

said he did it to impress Jacqueline Mackie Paisley

Passey. "She's the only person I know of," he added,

"whose egomania is more advanced than mine."

Papuan Celebrating Independence from

the Twenty-First Century

Members of Palestine's Green Party Being Weeded

Out of the Desert

Boy Trying to Drown His Tuk-Tuk in the Nile River

Tractor pulls are very popular in Ottertail, Minnesota.

So are toad strangling, frog smushing, and gecko gibbeting.

You have no idea how big Black-Eyed Susans

grow in the Amazon rain forest.

"No, this isn't a MooLatté. My good friend, Senator

George Allen, says eating desserts like that are what

caused the South to lose the War of Northern Aggression."

After almost four years of litigation, Frank Quattrone, former

chief of technology banking for Credit Suisse First Boston, has

beaten the 'loud tie' rap and will be permitted to walk Wall

Street once again.

U. S. News reports: "He's still a funny, earthy guy who

can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a

few for laughs." For instance, President Bush opened his

press conference last Monday morning by telling reporters,

"Pull my finger!"

In his bid for re-election as Governor of Alaska,

Frank Murkowski got only 19% of the vote in

the Republican primary. Analysts say the only

people who voted for him were members of his

extended corporate welfare family.

Still Life with Ant Lion and Pipe

Fresh from its victory over the hare, the tortoise turned

its attention to the family dog.

Bush Using Terror Weapon on Voter

If you think Ehud Olmert looks sad now,

you should have seen him before he ate

his Happy Meal.

Mad Cow Makeup Artist at Work

After he concluded his remarks to members of the

Brazilian Air Force, Geraldo Alckmin flapped his

wings and flew on to his next appointment.

Pakistani Police Apprehend Fugitives from

René Magritte's The Lovers

"Maria Sharapova Loves Me,"

Signed: Maria Sharapova

Pressure Mounts to Censure President Bush

for Giving America the Wrong Finger

Karl Rove, Rescue Ranger

Our Colonel Blimp

"If we withdraw our troops before we complete our mission,

all those Iraqi terrorists are gonna swim across the ocean

and blow you up!"

Two Israelis and a Palestinian Playing

Blind Man's Bluff

Cats Waiting in the Green Room Before Making Their

Weekly Blog Appearances

What Happened When the Beirut Housing Bubble Burst

"I'm a fish, a Cichlasoma citrinellum to be more

exact. I've pretty much accepted the fact that

you humans would rather eat me than understand

what it's like to eke out a living underwater and to

breathe through gills. But what I can't accept

is your seeming indifference to the demise of

Inspector Gill and the Fish Police. That was an

ichthyological catastrophe of the first order.

And what did you do about it? Nothing, except

change channels!"