You look like a Bildungblog reader who has yet to

taste Glow-in-the-Dark Sunny D. Go ahead, have

a sip. All you have to lose is your place in time.

"You wanna know Victoria's secret? Well, she's just

a dumb blonde God created to fuck my brains out.

And she's pretty much succeeded I'm happy to say."

Megapreacher's Wife Pleads Guilty to Loving

People, Looking Through a Glass Darkly

"Hey, guys, this is beginning to look a whole lot like The Good War

fought by The Greatest Generation. If we're lucky, we might

even land a part in the sequel to Saving Private Ryan."

President Bush Giving Callipygian Advice

to the Women's Beach Volleyball Team

McCain Supporter Deflates Tires to Spite Obama

"Listen, pal, and listen good: the last wiseguy who gave

me the finger is now taking a dirt nap. Capiche?"

Mini-Me on McCain's VP Short-List

Now that John Edwards has come clean,

when will John McCain?

Coca leaves at the ready, Hilaria Supa was all set to legislate.

Edwards Says Purpose of Extramarital Affair Was

to Refute Ann Coulter's Claim He's a Faggot

World's Worst Yobs #43

David Gregory

Things Older Than John McCain #6

Chachapoyas Mummy

"Did somebody say, 'National Enquirer'?"

Palestinian Synchronized Hurling Team Triumphs in Beijing

Definitely Not a Lincoln, Hardly a Ford, More Like a Yugo

McCain Condemns Russian Invasion of

His Chief Foreign Policy Adviser

John Edwards' prayer was answered, but

not in the way he had hoped.

Things Older Than John McCain #5

Neolithic Lovers

"She'll fly her astral plane,

Takes you trips around the WSJ,

Brings you back the same day,

Peggy Noonan. Peggy Noonan."

Soon, the Chinese will have their very own Ann Coulter androgynoid.

When Muffler Man Was a Neonate

Johnny Damon Exercises Nuclear Option,

Blows Fans Away

Parental Advisory #3

Explicit Non Causa Pro Causa

"The Chinese government understands I was just

bullshitting about its human rights abuses."

Wearing their Republican Platform Shoes,

the Blogettes for McCain were ready to party.

The day Ehud Olmert discovered how the Israeli

corruption investigators had cooked his goose.

Michelin Malkin reminds you that so much is riding on your tires.

American Empire #35

Neomonarchism

The old man had been told, "Put this in your pipe

and smoke it." So he did.

U.S. Military Holds Iraqi Prisoners in

Environmentally-Sensitive 'Segregation Boxes'

"I saw the shirt just a minute ago, honey. They made

it with you in mind. It was gray as I recall."

Miami Suffers Collateral Damage from

Lieberman-Guided Straight Talk Express

Allyson Felix Demonstrating the Proper Technique

When Simon Says to Take One Giant Step

John McCain's New Blue Surge Suit

Flower Power, Tough-Love Style

"Hi-Yo Silverback!"

After the polar ice cap melted, Santa Claus became the

best-known homeless person on the streets of London.

American Empire #34

Global Force Repositioning

The funny spherical thing on top of the tire gauge is

hollow and is commonly called McCain's Occiput.

Bin Laden's Chauffeur Given 5.5-Year Sentence for

Driving Limo with Underinflated Tires

Backstage, Hillary and Laura continued their discussion of

women's issues as Cindy wrapped up her lap dances at

the Buffalo Chip.

"So that's where all the ExxonMobil profits go!"

Inside the Foofy Batcave

President McCain's Western White House

Things Older Than John McCain #4

Pope Benedict XVI

Cindy McCain Gets Her Motor Running,

Wins Buffalo Chippie Prize for 2008

"Woodpeckers tighten their nictitating membranes a millisecond

prior to their beaks impacting the trunk of a tree in order to
prevent their eyes from leaving their sockets. That sounds pretty 
wise. As for me, well, I tighten mine so that I can catch a few 
z's after working the graveyard shift."

"Yes, my parents were convinced to marry each other so

that they could produce a dominant athlete with more

sponsorship deals per linear foot than anyone before

in the history of sport."