Fearguth senses his readers need a break. He will therefore

be camping and hiking in the Davis Mountains beginning

today and continuing through next Thursday. He will

will resume posting on Friday, December 19.

Expect to meet ladies of refined taste on the

Tenth Day of Zappadan.

Clean Coal Carolers to Be Stuffed in Christmas

Stockings of Children with Stink Foot

Herbert Hoover Smiled Down from on High at

Southern GOP Senators Who Opposed Auto Bailout

SuperShuttle à la Congo

County Commissioner Steve Rule

Compares Michelle Obama to

Black Widow Spider, Claims

He's Not Arachnophobic

The Coleman/Franken Senate Recount Continues

It's OK to bring your dog to

the Ninth Day of Zappadan.

Breaking:

“Hannity

and Hannity”
to Premiere
on Fox News
January 12

If he were to start wearing a blue beret tomorrow, Hugo

Chavez's hold on power in Venezuela probably wouldn't

last more than six months.

Female 'Al-Qaida Legend' Captured in Anti-Terror

Raid; Descendant of The Scorpion Claims She Has

Never Heard of Captain Marvel

Young Athenian Protesting That

Old Hungarian Is Protesting

An arrow pointing to the direction of Mecca is seen on the

floor of the "Camp Four" detention facility movie room

at U.S. Naval Station Guantanamo Bay. How long are we

going to let our sworn enemies keep living in the lap

of luxury?

Before you pass along the rumor that Hillary Clinton is

beginning to resemble the Madwoman of Chaillot, ask

yourself this question: "How would I react if I met

Senator Richard Lugar in the flesh?"

The Mouths That Roared #8

1. "America Drinks & Goes Home" (and drinks some more).

2. Write a song about the 'matrix numbers' for Mothermania

and impress your friends.

3. The Zappa Wiki Jawaka contains 4,158 articles about "the

life, times and music of Frank Zappa." User contributions

are invited, like, for example, an article about Zappadan.

4. Whose mouth is pictured above?

NASA Administrator Mike Griffin says, "If you

are looking under the hood, then you are calling

me a liar. Because it means you don't trust what

I say is under the hood." Apparently, Mr. Griffin

doesn't want us to know that he looks even

goofier under the hood.

The Mouths That Roared #7

1. On the back of the Mothermania album, there's a reprint of

a story by Helmut Kopetzy which had appeared in Der Abend,

a German-language newspaper, on Thursday, October 17,

1968. The headline read, "Die Spielsachen sind alle kapput,"

which may be translated either "The Toys Are All Broken" or

"All the Toys Are Broken." Click here to read an English

translation of the entire article. Once you read it, you'll

understand why the back page of the gatefold cover

was devoted to it.

2. "You're Probably Wondering Why I'm Here." So am I.

3. Follow this link to the mother lode of info about

Mothermania for the completist.

4. Whose mouth is pictured above?

Hair is optional on the Eighth Day of Zappadan.

Blago the Grafter reminds us that if all the bribery were

to be suddenly sucked out of our political system, it would

collapse like a boneless prophylactic.

When Eric Holder and Arlen Specter gazed into each

other's eyes, they saw a reflection of themselves.

And they didn't like what they saw.

The Mouths That Roared #6

1. "I'm sure that love will never be a product of Plasticity."

Amen, Brother Mothers, amen!

2. The Mothers of Invention was one division of

Intercontinental Absurdities; the other was NT&B (abbreviation

for the advertising and PR company, Nifty Tough & Bitchen).

3. The Mothermania album cover was actually "Printed in

the U. S. A.," not China. What a revolutionary concept!

4. Whose mouth is pictured above?

Brownie Shows Skeletor How He Stuck His

Finger in the Dike and Saved New Orleans

There's only one Liddy in the world who makes

G. Gordon look good by comparison and that's

Edward, the CEO of AIG.

The Mouths That Roared #5

1. 'Who Are the Brain Police?' The question is more

relevant today than it was in 1966.

2. If you don't own the original Mothermania LP, four

'Buy It Now' copies are currently for sale on eBay,

ranging in price from $25-$40.

3. Some say 'Call Any Vegetable' may be the theme song for

Couch Potatoes.

4. Whose mouth is pictured above?

The Mouths That Roared #4

1. We used to sing 'It Can't Happen Here'. But after eight

years of George W. Bush, we now know it can.

2. Mothermania was released by MGM on the Verve/Bizarre

label. Bizarre Records "was a record label formed for artists

discovered by Frank Zappa and his business partner/manager

Herb Cohen."

3. Early hostile critics of the Mothers claimed they stank worse

than their music.

4. Whose mouth is pictured above?

President Obama may be stuck with Mary Beth Buchanan,

the anti-pot crusading GOP US Attorney, because the

Tommy Chong prosecutor is daring the President to send

her up in smoke.

When Barack heard that Rod said he didn’t want to give

this “motherf—-er [the President-elect] his senator. F—-

him! For nothing? F—- him!” it was music to his ears.

Come as you are to the Seventh Day of Zappadan.

George Walker Bush to Leave Living Legacy as

the Only President in American History to Lose

NFL Pepsi Punt, Pass & Kick Contest

City of Berkeley to Weigh Crimes of Logic Charges

Against 'Torture Memo' Author John Yoo

The Mouths That Roared #3

1. Do you consider yourself to be one of the 'Mother People'?

2. Mothermania is probably the first--and perhaps only--

album released first in the United States which required

a reading knowledge of German to be fully appreciated.

3. The gatefold cover for Mothermania was designed by

Cal Schenkel (who was FZ's main visual collaborator).

4. Whose mouth is pictured above?

Someone over at TPM has penned the political epitaph for

Rod Blagojevich: "Like George W. Bush, But Not As Bright."

"I don't believe there's any cloud that hangs over me.

I think there's nothing but sunshine hanging over me."

"Surprised" Hildebrand Responds to Critics: "I Don't

Regret Any of It, " He Says While Flashing His Certificate

of Obstinacy from the Bush/Cheney School of Mulishness

The Mouths That Roared #2

1. Before the Mothers prophesied that 'Brown Shoes Don't

Make It', Tom Wolfe (in The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test) had

given 'Black Shiny FBI Shoes' a bad rap. If you excluded

brown and black shoes, what was a young man in his

twenties to wear in the Sixties?

2. Seven of the eleven recordings on the original vinyl

are different edits and/or mixes of tunes from the first

three Mothers LPs.

3. 'Brown Shoes Don't Make It' first appeared on Absolutely

Free, released in April, 1967.

4. Whose mouth is pictured above?

The Mouths That Roared #1

1. If you insist on having a mania,

why not make it a Mothermania?

2. Mothermania: the Best of the Mothers was released in

April, 1969. A compilation of tunes selected by Frank himself

from the Mothers first three LPs, it is a fine exemplar of

state-of-the-art recording technology forty years ago,

as well as a disappearing art form, the album cover.

3. Inside the gatefold of this album are photographs

of the mouths of its eight principal contributors.

4. Whose mouth is pictured above? If you can answer without

cheating, that's OK. If you can't answer without cheating,

that's OK, too. Just be honest and admit that you did.

My first encounter with Frank Zappa was in 1969

when I purchased Mothermania: the Best of the Mothers.

So far as I know, this compilation LP has not yet been

released on CD. As my contribution to Zappadan, I will be

doing a series of posts focused on this record, with the

title, 'The Mouths That Roared'. Stay tuned and in tune.

Man Evolving Toward the Sixth Day of Zappadan

"This is not a time for the left wing of our party to

draw conclusions about the Cabinet and White House

appointments that President-Elect Obama is making.

Like me, they must learn to trust and obey, for there

is no other way to be happy in Jesus."

X: "Merrill, lynch John Thain."

Y: "How many times, sir?"

State Bans Smiles in License Photos

Sign of the Times #3

Homeowner, Realtor, Bank, Signmaker: Bankrupt All

Rightblogger Eyezapoppin' Formulates Grand Unified

Theory of President Obama's Birthplace, Nationality,

and Citizenship

The unveiling of the official George Walker Bush presidential

portrait has once again raised the question, "What was behind

the locked door?"

Dog Bloggers Taking Extra Precautions as the

War on the War on Christmas Heats Up

Rove Planning to ‘Name Names’ of Bush Haters in His

New Book; Garland Blogger Reportedly High on His List

"Yes, my name is Mary Jo Kilroy and, yes, I'm

a new representative from the state of Ohio.

But, no, I'm not responsible for all the 'Kilroy

Was Here' graffiti on Capitol Hill."

If you were looking for the Fifth Day of

Zappadan, you've made a wrong turn.

This is Bamm-Bammadan.