Saturday, December 13, 2008

Fearguth senses his readers need a break. He will therefore
be camping and hiking in the Davis Mountains beginning
today and continuing through next Thursday. He will
will resume posting on Friday, December 19.
Expect to meet ladies of refined taste on the
Tenth Day of Zappadan.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Clean Coal Carolers to Be Stuffed in Christmas
Stockings of Children with Stink Foot
Herbert Hoover Smiled Down from on High at
Southern GOP Senators Who Opposed Auto Bailout
SuperShuttle à la Congo
County Commissioner Steve Rule
Compares Michelle Obama to
Black Widow Spider, Claims
He's Not Arachnophobic
The Coleman/Franken Senate Recount Continues
It's OK to bring your dog to
the Ninth Day of Zappadan.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Breaking:
“Hannity

and Hannity”
to Premiere
on Fox News
January 12
If he were to start wearing a blue beret tomorrow, Hugo
Chavez's hold on power in Venezuela probably wouldn't
last more than six months.
Female 'Al-Qaida Legend' Captured in Anti-Terror
Raid; Descendant of The Scorpion Claims She Has
Never Heard of Captain Marvel
Young Athenian Protesting That

Old Hungarian Is Protesting

An arrow pointing to the direction of Mecca is seen on the
floor of the "Camp Four" detention facility movie room
at U.S. Naval Station Guantanamo Bay. How long are we
going to let our sworn enemies keep living in the lap
of luxury?
Before you pass along the rumor that Hillary Clinton is
beginning to resemble the Madwoman of Chaillot, ask
yourself this question: "How would I react if I met
Senator Richard Lugar in the flesh?"
The Mouths That Roared #8

1. "America Drinks & Goes Home" (and drinks some more).
2. Write a song about the 'matrix numbers' for Mothermania
and impress your friends.
3. The Zappa Wiki Jawaka contains 4,158 articles about "the
life, times and music of Frank Zappa." User contributions
are invited, like, for example, an article about Zappadan.
4. Whose mouth is pictured above?
NASA Administrator Mike Griffin says, "If you
are looking under the hood, then you are calling
me a liar. Because it means you don't trust what
I say is under the hood." Apparently, Mr. Griffin
doesn't want us to know that he looks even
goofier under the hood.
The Mouths That Roared #7

1. On the back of the Mothermania album, there's a reprint of
a story by Helmut Kopetzy which had appeared in Der Abend,
a German-language newspaper, on Thursday, October 17,
1968. The headline read, "Die Spielsachen sind alle kapput,"
which may be translated either "The Toys Are All Broken" or
"All the Toys Are Broken." Click here to read an English
translation of the entire article. Once you read it, you'll
understand why the back page of the gatefold cover
was devoted to it.
2. "You're Probably Wondering Why I'm Here." So am I.
3. Follow this link to the mother lode of info about
Mothermania for the completist.
4. Whose mouth is pictured above?
Hair is optional on the Eighth Day of Zappadan.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Blago the Grafter reminds us that if all the bribery were
to be suddenly sucked out of our political system, it would
collapse like a boneless prophylactic.
When Eric Holder and Arlen Specter gazed into each
other's eyes, they saw a reflection of themselves.
And they didn't like what they saw.
The Mouths That Roared #6

1. "I'm sure that love will never be a product of Plasticity."
Amen, Brother Mothers, amen!
2. The Mothers of Invention was one division of
Intercontinental Absurdities; the other was NT&B (abbreviation
for the advertising and PR company, Nifty Tough & Bitchen).
3. The Mothermania album cover was actually "Printed in
the U. S. A.," not China. What a revolutionary concept!
4. Whose mouth is pictured above?
Brownie Shows Skeletor How He Stuck His
Finger in the Dike and Saved New Orleans
There's only one Liddy in the world who makes
G. Gordon look good by comparison and that's
Edward, the CEO of AIG.
The Mouths That Roared #5

1. 'Who Are the Brain Police?' The question is more
relevant today than it was in 1966.
2. If you don't own the original Mothermania LP, four
'Buy It Now' copies are currently for sale on eBay,
ranging in price from $25-$40.
3. Some say 'Call Any Vegetable' may be the theme song for
Couch Potatoes.
4. Whose mouth is pictured above?
The Mouths That Roared #4

1. We used to sing 'It Can't Happen Here'. But after eight
years of George W. Bush, we now know it can.
2. Mothermania was released by MGM on the Verve/Bizarre
label. Bizarre Records "was a record label formed for artists
discovered by Frank Zappa and his business partner/manager
Herb Cohen."
3. Early hostile critics of the Mothers claimed they stank worse
than their music.
4. Whose mouth is pictured above?
President Obama may be stuck with Mary Beth Buchanan,
the anti-pot crusading GOP US Attorney, because the
Tommy Chong prosecutor is daring the President to send
her up in smoke.
When Barack heard that Rod said he didn’t want to give
this “motherf—-er [the President-elect] his senator. F—-
him! For nothing? F—- him!” it was music to his ears.
Come as you are to the Seventh Day of Zappadan.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

George Walker Bush to Leave Living Legacy as
the Only President in American History to Lose
NFL Pepsi Punt, Pass & Kick Contest
City of Berkeley to Weigh Crimes of Logic Charges
Against 'Torture Memo' Author John Yoo
The Mouths That Roared #3

1. Do you consider yourself to be one of the 'Mother People'?
2. Mothermania is probably the first--and perhaps only--
album released first in the United States which required
a reading knowledge of German to be fully appreciated.
3. The gatefold cover for Mothermania was designed by
Cal Schenkel (who was FZ's main visual collaborator).
4. Whose mouth is pictured above?
Someone over at TPM has penned the political epitaph for
Rod Blagojevich: "Like George W. Bush, But Not As Bright."

"I don't believe there's any cloud that hangs over me.
I think there's nothing but sunshine hanging over me."
"Surprised" Hildebrand Responds to Critics: "I Don't
Regret Any of It, " He Says While Flashing His Certificate
of Obstinacy from the Bush/Cheney School of Mulishness
The Mouths That Roared #2

1. Before the Mothers prophesied that 'Brown Shoes Don't
Make It', Tom Wolfe (in The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test) had
given 'Black Shiny FBI Shoes' a bad rap. If you excluded
brown and black shoes, what was a young man in his
twenties to wear in the Sixties?
2. Seven of the eleven recordings on the original vinyl
are different edits and/or mixes of tunes from the first
three Mothers LPs.
3. 'Brown Shoes Don't Make It' first appeared on Absolutely
Free, released in April, 1967.
4. Whose mouth is pictured above?
The Mouths That Roared #1

1. If you insist on having a mania,
why not make it a Mothermania?
2. Mothermania: the Best of the Mothers was released in
April, 1969. A compilation of tunes selected by Frank himself
from the Mothers first three LPs, it is a fine exemplar of
state-of-the-art recording technology forty years ago,
as well as a disappearing art form, the album cover.
3. Inside the gatefold of this album are photographs
of the mouths of its eight principal contributors.
4. Whose mouth is pictured above? If you can answer without
cheating, that's OK. If you can't answer without cheating,
that's OK, too. Just be honest and admit that you did.
My first encounter with Frank Zappa was in 1969
when I purchased Mothermania: the Best of the Mothers.
So far as I know, this compilation LP has not yet been
released on CD. As my contribution to Zappadan, I will be
doing a series of posts focused on this record, with the
title, 'The Mouths That Roared'. Stay tuned and in tune.
Man Evolving Toward the Sixth Day of Zappadan

Monday, December 08, 2008

"This is not a time for the left wing of our party to
draw conclusions about the Cabinet and White House
appointments that President-Elect Obama is making.
Like me, they must learn to trust and obey, for there
is no other way to be happy in Jesus."
X: "Merrill, lynch John Thain."
Y: "How many times, sir?"
State Bans Smiles in License Photos

Sign of the Times #3
Homeowner, Realtor, Bank, Signmaker: Bankrupt All
Rightblogger Eyezapoppin' Formulates Grand Unified
Theory of President Obama's Birthplace, Nationality,
and Citizenship
The unveiling of the official George Walker Bush presidential
portrait has once again raised the question, "What was behind
the locked door?"
Dog Bloggers Taking Extra Precautions as the
War on the War on Christmas Heats Up
Rove Planning to ‘Name Names’ of Bush Haters in His
New Book; Garland Blogger Reportedly High on His List
"Yes, my name is Mary Jo Kilroy and, yes, I'm
a new representative from the state of Ohio.
But, no, I'm not responsible for all the 'Kilroy
Was Here' graffiti on Capitol Hill."
If you were looking for the Fifth Day of
Zappadan, you've made a wrong turn.
This is Bamm-Bammadan.