Fearguth will be enjoying the Bonnaroo Music Festival
(http://www.bonnaroo.com/2006/) for the next four days.
He'll be back online next Monday evening.

Thiago Dias of Brazil is in the process of setting

a new world record in the long jump. At press time,

he was still airborne.

Billed as the 'Busty Babes', Rosa Blasi and Lisa Ann

Walter's act consisted of walking around on stage,

trying to stand up straight.

No matter how closely they looked, the Saudi Arabian

soccer players could not find the ball.

Not Your Average Motorcycle Hothead

"Look, Mommy! Hugo is playing with

his gun again."

Dennis Hastert was very pissed when he realized

that increasing his caloric intake wasn't a viable

solution to the problem of illegal immigration.

Having failed to sell his 'flat tax' panacea to America,

Steve Forbes is now trying to sell it to Russia. Like other

observers, Vladimir Putin wonders why Steve's eyes

never blink.

While Japan was building an army of humanoid Samurai robots,

what was America doing to counter this threat?

Patrick Fitzgerald was unleashing the humanoid Rove robot,

and the Japanese were already talking 'unconditional surrender'.

What is it about the phrase, "Kiss my bottom!",

that makes it so much more effective than the

phrase, "Kiss my hat!?"

Had David been a university student in Nicaragua,

he would have slain Goliath the Philistine this way.

When Tom DeLay wears a suit and tie,

he looks like this.

When he doesn't, he looks like this.

"Was Judas Jesus' best friend or worst enemy?" The fact

that this question is being asked in 2006 is an

indication of how much power the past--whether

real or imagined--has over the future. We ask such

questions in the present, where the past and

the future overlap.

A car carrier crash is like coitus interruptus:

what appears to be so new and hard one

moment suddenly becomes so old and soft

the next.

When Mothra was a baby, it had a wingspan of only
25 centimeters. But when it grew up and became
a movie star, its wingspan was 250 meters.

Moral: If you wish to become one of Godzilla's most

challenging opponents, you must spread your wings and fly.

Rugby Puzzle

There are five balls in this picture.

Can you spot them?

Bangladeshi Drum Chased by Bangladeshi Drummer

Warning: Don't Jack with Black!

Blue-Tongued Skink

Acid-Tongued Skank

Contestants in this year's Bridezilla contest

in New York City were exceptionally horny.

In Accra, the capital of Ghana, people

make a statement with the coffins they

are buried in. The person who will be

laid to rest in this bottle, for instance,

was The Real Thing and lived on The

Coke Side of Life.

Hardee's Monster Thickburger looks pretty big until

you see a Tucker-Davidson Whole Hogburger, which

weighs over 43 pounds.

Jack the Cat chased

Smokey the Bear

up a tall tree.

In the good old days, when a walky-talky was two Dixie Cups

connected by a piece of string, this is what a TV looked like.

Employees of Fast-Food Chain Protest

Inhumane Working Conditions

In Sclave, Bulgaria, the grand prize for winning the

wrestling match is a live sheep. As you can see, the

sheep has adopted a rather fatalistic attitude toward

what happens next.

Jordanian Protests Against Gingivitis

This woman practices safe sex and safe smoking.

Only in America can you go into a shop that serves 
nothing but tantalizing hot and cold cereals. When you 
enter such an Emporium of Dawn Delights, there's nothing
 left to do except play Supertramp's Breakfast in America 
and say, "Yum, yum, eat'em up!"

Senator Robert Byrd, age 88, knows that the only thing

that can possibly stop the Vlad Tepes' of the Bush

Administration is a copy of the U. S. Constitution.

But even this remedy may someday not be sufficient.

Hugh Hefner challenges all his critics to do three

things: 1) live to be 80 years old, 2) have your

picture taken with babes with big bosoms on

each arm, and 3) die smiling with your hat on.

There's something about the word 'piehole' which makes it one

of the most obscene-sounding words in the English language.

Visually, here's what a piehole must look like.

Viagra Falls

Selling roasted chickens in the rain at the side

of a road in Cuba, the man thought: "Abide with me,

O Colonel Sanders, for I shall never reveal the

eleven secret herbs and spices!"

Scene from the Final Game of the Dust Bowl Soccer Tournament

Held in Dodge City, Kansas on April 14, 1935

Dermatologists in Argentina have yet to come up with an

explanation for a garish skin disorder which has stricken

many soccer fans.

What you are witnessing here is one of the

finalists in the World Championship of

Greyhound Air Swimming.

In the 1950s, this was called the Dirty Bop.

In 2006, it's called tennis.

Chris Martin About to Join the Choir Invisible

With the storm clouds gathering overhead, the tornado

magnets were obviously working.