Texas Mayor's Nails Marked 'Manicured'

Do You Believe in Clorox?

One way to test for memory loss in your circle of

friends is to ask, "Remember Seamus?".  If all you

get is blank stares, you know you've reached the

level of your own forgetfulness.

Even if Trump is killing us 

accidentally, we're still dead.

According to Greek myth, coins were placed on the eyes

 of the dead as payment to Charon for ferrying the dead

 into the Underworld.

Has North Korea's Maximum Leader been minimized?

Think outside the box? "I'd rather not," said the cat.

Trump/Loxapac 2020

Religion qua religion is neither good nor bad,

but if Jerry Falwell, Jr. has anything to do

with it, it's Bad Religion.

Yoooge, Yoooger, Yooogest

Being an Allosaurus periodontist

is taxing work, but it's a living.

Someone needs to take Trump's temperature, for it

is evident he suffers from a fevered imagination.

Larry Kudlow says he gets his hair cut every two

weeks, come hell, high water, or COVID-19.

Hyperventilationism is the belief that tomorrow's 

apocalyptic cataclysm will make today's look 

like Arcadia and yesterday's like the 

Garden of Eden.

You may have wondered what someone looks like 

who has overdosed on hydroxychloroquine.

What's Your Poison?

Adios Airlines to Merge with Flying Fuck

Pumpkin Spice Spam Space Suits!

Available for a Limited Time Only!

The Disinfector Joins Trump 2020

Campaign Team

Newton Leroy, Master of Gingrich Hall and the

oldest surviving member of Georgia's antebellum 

plantation aristocracy, says if he could generate 

enough energy to stand up, he would immunize himself

against the coronavirus with a glass of bourbon and

 branch water.

First, his apologists said Trump was quoted out of context.

Then they said he was just being sarcastic.  Finally, they

claimed Trump was trying to nail Jello to the wall

and succeeded.

The Pilates Contra-Coronavirus Bleach Colonic

hasn't been endorsed by Trump quite yet.

And then Trump slit his nostrils open, sawed

his leg off, pulled his liver out, and nailed his

head to the floor.  "He sometimes took sarcasm

a bit too far," said Doug Piranha.

And like his Centrum MultiGummies, Tucker Carlson

 had to take only one Clorox Chewable a day.

And it will help keep whites white!

COVID-19 Does Standup

Kayleigh McEnany and Her Stunt Double

Saint Arnold, the Beer Saint, Sez: "Everybody remain

 calm. This is not happening."

God Damn the Pusher Man

Trump's allies deny (1) that Trump was quoting

himself out of context and (2) that Trump was

trying to thin the Trumpnik herd.

Son of Mengele

Adventures in Aestheticism #245

Trump to Kick His Ratings Up a Notch with

Impressions of Johnny Carson Doing His 

Carnac the Magnificent, Floyd R. Turbo, 

and Aunt Blabby Impressions

Nobody's Fool

Got Religion?

Trump Casting Out COVID-19 Demon

Call Him 'Old Stab-in-the-Back'

Pressure is mounting on the International Olympic 

Committee to add Reverse Dressage as a demonstration

 sport to the 2021 Olympic Summer Games in Tokyo.

Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman looks like she has 

played one game of Blackjack too many.

Imagine getting your hair cut by a barber who 

is standing six feet away.  Imagine getting your

nails done by a manicurist who is sitting six feet

 away.  Imagine getting a massage by a masseuse

who is situated six feet away.  Deborah Birx is

a very silly person, isn't she?

Georgia's Circular Firing Squad  Steals Spotlight

from 21,102 Coronavirus Cases

"What's he all dressed up for?"

"He's getting ready to protest an

Open the Country protest."

This raven can't say 'Nevermore', but it can say

'Requiescat In Pace'.

It's a Living

Pence the Toady Says Coronavirus Will Be 'Largely in

the Past' by Summer

In the 1950s, Meghan McCain would have been a 'Square'

or a 'Cube'.  In 2020, she's a 'Blockhead'.

Do Labradoodles breed like COVID-19?

If you're lucky, when you're as old as Mitch

McConnell, your face won't look like a bowl

of lumpy mashed potatoes.  If you're lucky.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #807

Carolyn Goodman

Shelter in Place, Day 50