Warm Scuzzies #425

Sheriff Mike Byrd

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #22

Elisa Chan

Liz Cheney Sez:  “I am strongly pro-life and I am not pro-

gay marriage.  I believe the issue of marriage must be 

decided by the states, and by the people in the states, 

not by judges and not even by legislators, but by the

 people themselves.”

[Sounds like a call for some vigilante action, doesn't it?]

Like the U.S. Intelligence Community, the stoner always

assessed with 'high confidence'.

Obama Administration's

'Red Line' on Syria

Judge G. Todd Baugh Apologizes for Rape Comments

and for Wearing a Bolo Tie on Casual Friday

"Senator McConnell, when your spokeswoman recently 

 criticized 'a small cadre of fringe friends', was she

 referring to  the United Kentucky Tea Party, Central

 Kentucky Tea Party Patriots, Northern Kentucky 

Tea Party, Louisville Tea Party, Bowling Green

 Southern Kentucky Tea Party, Barren County Patriots, 

Kenton County Tea Party, Northern KY Tea Party, 

or the Bullitt County 'Voices of Independence' 

Tea Party?"

Bill O'Reilly Issues On-Air Apology for Being Bill O'Reilly

Clint Eastwood, Wife Split; "I Got Tired of Him Talking

to Chairs," She Says

Two-Minute Haters #35

Stan Solomon

Donald Rumsfeld Calls on Colin Powell to Justify

 Attack on Syria

Acquaintances of Steve Lonegan Say They Don't Like 

Him Being a Guy, Say They Would Like Him Better

 As a

Bedlington Terrier

"Mary Jane, what's it like to be the 

world's most popular drug?"

Nation Stunned to Learn All Seven Members of the Federal 

Reserve Board of Governors Are Millionaires

"Fuck Ben Affleck, Bane!  Let's rock!"

 "Hey, Andy, did you hear what that Bloomberg editor said?"  

"No, Woody, what did he say?"

"He said, 'It's time we let Andy Panda die'."

"What a cock mother!"

"Exactly, Andy!" 

Turns Out, Hot-Air Balloonists Aren't All That Eager to 

Go to Mars

'Bankers Gone Wild' Honcho Calls Sentence 'Absurd',

Says He's Not Going to Jail

August 31, 2013 is International Bacon Day.  Are you ready?

"I've already forgotten the words to 'Bomb, Bomb Iran!', 

Barack, so let's bomb Syria instead!"

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #519

David Marsters

Jonah Goldberg Launches New 'Doughy Pantload®' Line

of Boys' Training Pants

Puff the Magic Dragonfly Pursues Happiness and

Catches It

Russian Artist Flees Country After Depicting

Vladimir Putin Combing the Hair of Dmitry

Medvedev with Obviously Fake 'Stunt Breasts'

 How to Photograph a Tarantula from Three Blocks Away

Blank Slate #14

Top Stories from August 28, 2013

"Fox News Mocks Chelsea Manning with 

Aerosmith Song"

"Thanks, Smilin' Bob"

"All Hail the Gin and Tonic"

"Instagram's Banned Tags:  #She Wants the D

Is OK, but #MILF Isn't?"

"All Hail Hushpuppies"

Howie Kurtz Mesmerized by Semi-Nude Pictures of 

Ben Bradlee's Daughter-in-Law on Facebook

Albert Einstein Responds to Miley Cyrus's

Video Music Awards Performance

Syrian President Seriously Considering 'Humorous Air

Strikes' on Weekly Standard

Warm Scuzzies #424

Judge G. Todd Baugh

Warm Scuzzies #423

Stacey Dean Rambold

Director of DPS Kotexans Steve McCraw Sez:  "I'm tired of

 reading we made this stuff up. Let's get the photos we have to 

members of the media. Does anyone realistically believe 

we would fabricate evidence to support a political agenda? 

Amazing!"

[No confiscated jars of urine and excrement.  No photos.

Poopergate poops out.]

Biggest Challenge Facing Sandwich Chefs at Burger

King Will Be Making Sure No More/No Less Than

Four Fries Are Placed Above/Not Below the Meat

 Patty in Each French Fry Burger

"Toobin, not Toolbin!"

James O'Keefe is a:

1) Nasty Little Cowardly Spud,

2) Little Nasty Cowardly Spud,

3) Cowardly Little Nasty Spud

4) Cowardly Nasty Little Spud.

(Pick all that apply.)

World's Worst Yobs #292

Taleeb Starkes

Mark O'Mara Bills State of Florida $300,000 for

Lifting Paving Stone During Zimmerman Trial

O'Reilly

O'Miley

Nixon: “What did CBS do? Did they knock my 

Watergate speech?”
Graham: “I felt like slashing their deep throats, 

but anyway God be with you.”

Female Cockamamie Breeding Behavior

Would someone PUH-LEEZE put a cork in Corker?

Surgical Air Strike

Surgical Heart Strike

One Million Roaches Bust Out of 

Chinese Hemp Farm

Cactus Jack

Hybrid Puritan