Saturday, May 26, 2012

"Thanks to Governor Brownback, I can sleep soundly
 tonight, knowing that Kansas is safe from Sharia law."
Benedictine Plumbers Identify Paolo the Butler 
as Cause of Vatileaks
Levi Johnston, Notorious Sperm Gifter, Goes Back Home 
to His Mommy
For the world-famous Blubberlugger Brothers, it was 
just another day at Pebble Beach. 
Rush Cam Installed to Enable Round-the-Clock Online
 Viewing of Limbaugh Bust in Missouri State Capitol

Friday, May 25, 2012

Winner of Geography Bee Even Knew Capital of
Uz-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #390
Deborah Pauly
Thomas Kinkade named this painting, 'The 
Good Life'.  He should have named it,
'Whiskey River, Don't Run Dry'.
"Who's the guy selling Jesus-on-a-Stick?"
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #66
Flesh Eaters from Georgia
"I'm a Facebook backer.  Wanna buy my shorts?"

Thursday, May 24, 2012

"Would the man in the orange tie please call the 
Projectile Verping Hotline at 1-800-455-7853?
This is an emergency!"
Alan Simpson:  a Gasbag as Big as
the State of Wyoming
"Not positive, but I think this baby is trying to say,
 'Don't Bain me, bro, don't Bain me!'"
Who really gives a flying fig what General
Colin Powell thinks about same-sex marriage?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

"Mr. Sullivan, were you as shady looking before you
became Director of the Secret Service?"
"Jon Stewart told me he was a socialist and then he 
waggled my cheeks."
Ross Douthat and His Metaphysically-Coherent Hairdo
Titanic Joke
If, as a recent study claims, you are more likely to drink 
and smoke pot if you listen to loud music, would you more 
likely go to clown funerals if you listen to soft music?
World's Shortest Man Sez:  "Today's books are too long."

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Grin Reaper Is a Big Bully
Sane Daniel Webster

Insane Daniel Webster
Vial of Ronald Reagan's Blood and a Fragment 
of Christ's True Cross Up for Bid in UK Auction
The Grime Reaper
George Tierney, the Most Famous Moran of
Greenville, South Carolina

Cory Booker, Mayor of Newark, and a Wholly-Owned 
Subsidiary of Bain Capital

Monday, May 21, 2012

Code Pink Grasshopper Sez:  "I seek not to know the 
answers, but to understand the questions." 
Only 8, her idol was James Bond, a heavy smoker, 
and her best friend was a lead-crystal ash tray.
The side effects of drinking Gatorade G2 are
 just now beginning to be better understood.

Conspiracy theories come and go, but the oldest, 
according to paleontologists, is the Great Quetzalcoatlus 
Scavenger Hunt Theory, first propounded 65 million 
years ago by a species of relatively small saurids who are, 
unfortunately, unattested by any known fossil record.
Rightbloggers and Other 
Internet Biohazards #124
The Pray in Jesus Name Project
"The Governor Jan Brewer Apple Peeler with Suction Base
is only $19.95.  Be among the first 100 callers and we will
double your order.  All you pay is extra shipping and 
handling.  Call now!"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #389
Charles Worley

Whose SuperPAC was bigger, Romney's or Obama's?  
Until they dropped trou, Stephen Colbert couldn't tell.
"Yeah, I understand that all the NATO geniuses have gotten 
together in Chicago and decided to change the name of this 
country from 'Afghanistan' to 'Shitholeistan' and then 
get the hell out."
Apparently, there are a lot of people in Chicago who 
really hate Jimmy John's Gourmet Sandwiches.
Israeli Doughboys
Take heed, American homophobes:  anti-gay bigots in
the Ukraine don't pussyfoot around.

"'Gobshite'?  I don't believe I'm 
familiar with that term."

Rush Limbaugh Rivals Pink Flamingo as 
Florida's Most Popular Lawn Ornament
When the Romneybot 2.0 began to stare vacantly into space, 
its designers knew it was time to take it offline for some
 unscheduled maintenance.

What Better Way to Remember
Dear Old Dad on Father's Day

When he's fully inflated, Chris Christie's
 internal psi is about the same as a 
refrigerated can of 7UP®, or 30 pounds 
per square inch.
"So, you say you don't own a Kindle or an iPad, and you
 don't use Twitter?  How did you get so out of sync with
modern times?"

When Newt Gingrich's Campaign Debt Clock reached
$4.8 million, it began to strike 13.
Transgender Miss Universe Canada Proves More 
Than Beauty Is Skin Deep

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Here we see one frog in a wheelbarrow.  Imagine 218
frogs in a wheelbarrow and you would have what John
Boehner describes as the House GOP caucus.  In his
words, "It’s hard to keep 218 frogs in a wheelbarrow 
long enough to get a bill passed.”
Abdel Basset al-Megrahi Dies Almost Three Years After
He Should Have