"Every time I return the ball to my master, he throws it further 

and further out into the lake.  He's got a better arm than 

Carl Furillo!"

David Brooks Excogitating the Building of a

Republican Party in Exile

Diving at the Summer Olympics

Mascot for Trump's

13-Man Team of

Economic Advisers

What a Difference a Little 'T' Makes

“The economic numbers are getting worse and worse all the

 time. If they get real bad, I hope it happens fast. We’ll

 certainly blame them, OK? We’re gonna blame them.” 

Journey to the Center-Right of the

Universal Mind

When Trump wouldn't endorse him, Paul Ryan was sad. 

 Then when Trump did, Ryan was even sadder.

The Martyrdom of Dan Patrick

[After Il Sodoma 1477-1549]

With guns blazing, Todd Akin lauds Donald

 Trump's rhetoric as "a breath of fresh air."

"What might ye be doing, sir?"

"I'm showing Barack Obama how to prove to Carl 

Paladino that he's a Christian."

The Word Is Out

Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead and 

Carl Paladino is still undead.

Trump said he saw a nonexistent Iran hostage money video. 

Then he said he didn't see it.  Which Trump should we believe?

Hey, somebody has already made a movie

about the Trump campaign!

Donald Trump is seeing things again.

Using Pocket Constitutions to Repel Petty Tyrants

Said to Be More Effective Than Using Crucifixes to 

Evade Vampires

Headlines We Like to See #4

'Freedom Caucus knives out for Ryan after 

Huelskamp loss'

Kafka in Reverse

In 2020, the Year of Perfect Political Vision, the GOP will 

nominate Jethro Q. Walrustitty.

For some reason, no one has ever accused Jeff Zucker of

being 'just another pretty face'.

God Rumored to Be Using Presidential Race

 to Separate Christians from Evangelicals

Warm Scuzzies #701

Jerry Larpenter

"What's up with Eastwood being so down on pussy?"

"At 86, he probably doesn't remember the good old days."

Superannuated Member of 'Loudmouth Dick'

 Generation Berates 'Pussy Generation'

"Hey, Clint Eastwood, you use the phrase,

'Pussy Generation', as if being or having a

 'pussy' is something bad.  You must be a 

member of the 'Dick Generation'."

Trump's Taj Mahal Takes a Gamble, Drops Out of

Casino Race

Tim Huelskamp, once described by a fellow Republican as

one of "the most egregious assholes" in the House, has 

crashed and burned in the Teabagger Barrens.  So sad.

Even our metaphors are out of control.

"RNC Chairman Reince Priebus is 'apoplectic' over 

Donald Trump's refusal to back House Speaker 

Paul Ryan or Sen. John McCain."

Killer Klown

"So what if Barack Obama was only an Illinois state senator

when Humayun Khan was killed in Iraq!  He's still to blame!"

CNN, the Most Trusted Name in Birther News

Donald Trump displays the Purple Heart he received for

suffering a bone spur in his heel during the Vietnam War.

Angry Bowel Syndrome

Move Over, Rocky Balboa!

"Melania, you must be punished for only reading the

Cliffs Notes version of Venus in Furs."

Inspired by Trump, Paul Krugman adds 'Derp Spiral'

 to America's political vocabulary.

Donald Trump with the Baby He Didn't Kick Out of 

His Rally

The Politico Illustrated #46

'Trump boots baby from Virginia rally'

World's Worst Yobs #363

Seth Mandel

Responding to assertions that he is unfit to serve as

President, the Trump campaign has issued an updated

bumpersticker.

Based on appearance alone, it could be argued that Viktor 

Yanukovych and Paul Manafort are one and the same.

Archaeologists Discover Intriguing Post-Byzantine Mosaic

As the saying goes, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't 

mean they're not out to get you!"

At 19, Allen Ivanov was too young to buy beer, but

not too young to buy an AR-15, which he used to

murder three teenagers.

Adventures in Lexicology #21

Sciamachy (SKEE-ah-mahk-ee), n. A battle

against imaginary enemies. [When he says

Hillary is the Devil, Trump is engaging in

sciamachy.]

Donald Trump Opens New Front in Cosmic Battle Against 

the Devil Hillary, Queen of Iniquity

If what we see in the New York Post is true and if Trump 

were elected President, they're gonna need a bigger bed

 in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Charlie Hurt Sez: "Khizr Khan was tricked 

into smearing Donald Trump."