Aftershocks of the Obama earthquake in the United

States are still being felt worldwide.

Sarah Palin Gives Sneak Peek of Her 2012

Look at Republican Governors' Conference

The next phase in the Excruciating Etiquette program

would be learning how to sit on your fist and lean back

on your thumb.

Like the ugly duckling, his peers made fun of him until

he grew up to be

Rodan.

And then they made fun of him even more.

Why don't we ever see a condom production line on

How It's Made, the popular Science Channel program?

When Vice President-Elect Joe Biden visited the U. S. Naval

Observatory, he learned why Vice President Cheney is such

a big Dick: he has two prostates, both enlarged.

Times must be getting really tough: Hormel Foods is

reportedly struggling to keep up with Spam demand.

Ming the Merciless' other daughter was unfortunately

born with her head on backwards, which made getting

dressed a real hassle.

Upon further reflection, it would seem reasonable to believe

Vladimir Putin might be able to hang Mikhail Saakashvili by

the balls.

Barack Obama to Distance Himself from William Ayers

by Moving to Washington, D.C.

Dreamer Trying Vainly to Retrace His Steps Back to

Where He Can't Quite Remember

Giant Emoticon Seen As Positive Sign From On High

President Bush's impression of the American economy

was always good for a laugh.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is required to go through

the Door of Humility on the way out of the Bush Administration

and into a future career of hard-earned, well-deserved obscurity.

Bush Performs Warning Dance Against 'Too Much' Government

in Markets, Defends Capitalism Nonverbally

Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Frank 
Walter Steinmeier?

Angela Merkel's shadow knows.

If you thought the rightwing mudslingers were bad during

the presidential campaign, just wait until January 20, 2009.

Star-Bangled Spanner

If ever a new Nietzsche proclaims "Gold Is

Dead!" that will be the beginning of the end

of humankind's oldest faith.

Passengers aboard the Bush Express had an

uneasy feeling they were going nowhere.

"I think the Left hates me — mostly men on the Left hate me —

because to me from outside in it appears that I have a great

sex life, all right?"

Her body over 60% water, the little girl wondered why

the other 40% wasn't.

Representative Paul Broun (R-GA) has apologized for

being a flatus tube. Unfortunately, once a flatus tube,

always a flatus tube. Sorry, Congressman!

You probably didn't know that today is Crappycopia,

the Harvest Festival of Conservatism's Firstfruits.

Texas State Board of Education member Cynthia Dunbar (who,

incidentally, home schools her own children) isn't backing

down from her claim that Barack Obama is plotting with

terrorists to attack the U.S. And you thought Witch Hazel

was an astringent that came only in a bottle!

Buck Burnette Has Longhorns Sawed Off for

Inviting Hunters to White House Out of Season

Besides looking all wrinkly and scowly, what

is Zell Miller, Joe Lieberman's mentor in 'stab

in the back politics', doing these days?

China Makes Bold Move to Steal Media Attention

Away from Sarah Palin

It's not impossible to extinguish the human spirit.

But it's hard.

Punditocracy Already Bored with Obama Administration,

Can Hardly Wait for 2012

Enough of this sitting on your ass in front of the

computer! It's time to head for the great outdoors

for some RINO huntin' with the Nuge!

Machiavelli's Shadow Ready to

Board Time Machine for 2010

Zappadan draweth nigh. When it arrives, you will

find all of its nutty goodness at The Aristocrats.

AIG CEO Edward Liddy to Publish New Book, Kama Sutra

for Financiers: 1001 Ways to Screw Taxpayers

If Sarah Louise Heath had been a blogger back in the day,

she would've been in her parents’ basement just talkin’

garbage like everybody else, but without pajamas. If

you want to know what that looked like, just ask

Todd Palin's fly. On the wall, it was very fond of trash.

Off the wall, it was even fonder.

Suggestion: send Michael O'Hanlon to the families of the

two U. S. soldiers killed today by an Iraqi soldier to expatiate

for one hour, and without notes, on the success of the 'surge'.

Sarah Palin said "my son's life is now in Barack

Obama's hands." All in all, Track seemed to bear

up under this bit of good news pretty well.

Let's be fair: should we blame John Podhoretz for the

fact that his father is Norman Podhoretz and his

mother is Midge Decter?

If there was ever a deserving candidate for an extreme

makeover, it would be Senator Ken Salazar of Colorado.

His head is too big for his body, his hat is too big for his

head, and he looks more like Phil Gramm than

Phil Gramm.

If you are too tall and would like to shed a few inches,

this fellow claims he can fix you right up.

"Now that you mention it, Barack, the symmetry of the

Oval Office has tended to get on my nerves."

Andrew Sullivan, Pre-Palin

Andrew Sullivan, Post-Palin

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner

Eating his Christmas pie,

He put in his thumb and pulled out a

Plum Book
And said "What a good boy am I!"

Did you know an extra hour of shuteye is worth $60,000?

This is just one of the amazing facts in the New York

Times bestseller, Sleep and Grow Rich.

World's Worst Yobs #59

Michael Barone

"Yeah, my show will now have a seven-second delay to
protect against my dropping any more f-bombs. On the

other hand, no other show on MSNBC will have this

feature. I'm kinda proud of that."

Representative Paul Broun (R-GA) said Monday he fears that
President-elect Obama will establish a Gestapo-like security

force to impose a Marxist dictatorship. A spokesman for the

Obama Administration replied, "What the Congressman says

is only half true. The other half is that the dictatorship will

only be imposed on bug-eyed white Republicans from Georgia."