"Hey, Senator Paul, if you use one of these, you can

reach out to minorities and never even have to

 touch them!"

A Doocy Canoe

While no one expects the Spanish Inquisition,

the same cannot be said of Spam-on-a-Stick.

The Unexpurgated Bible #104

"Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up

 Jonah. But Jonah was too smart to fall for that old gag."

Bipartisan Laughter Erupts After Publication of 

Palin Brawl Police Report

World's Worst Yobs #314

Caleb Bonham

Were it revealed that David Brooks's son was a mercenary 

soldier in ISIS, there would be hell to pay.  But, Brooks's 

son is a mercenary soldier in the Israeli Defense Force and 

that's perfectly OK.  Why is that?

Contrary to what you may have heard, not all 

Progressives were created equal.

"You know, Father, all this praying is

blowing my knees out.  What about

you?"

"What do you plan to major in when you go to college?"

"Banking and Financial Management."

"You're such a pig!"

"What do you think you are?  A disciple of

Saint Francis of Assisi?"

Even though he can stand associating with Tony

Scalia on the Supreme Court, there's one thing

Justice Anthony Kennedy simply cannot stand:  

same-sex marriage in Idaho.

"Sure, I'm the product of 'Biblically-correct sex'.  

Can't you tell from just looking?"

New Veggie Burger Bleeds Like It Has

Hemorrhagic Fever

Domestic Fowl Version of 'Realized Eschatology'

"But I created everything ex nihilo!" God exclaimed. 

"Sorry, still no copyright," the U.S. Copyright Office

reverentially replied.

What is it about Ted Cruz that reminds people of a 

raven selling life insurance?

Oregon Good Guy Openly Carrying Brand

 New Gun Dry-Gulched by Oregon Bad Guy 

with Gun; "He Got the Drop on Me,"

Good Guy Says

"Do you know what?  I'm happy!"

The Human Torch Criticizes President Obama for

Lacking 'Fire'

Why Texas Armadillos So Often End Up as Road Pizzas

American Schutzstaffel #45

Pilgrims Singing 'Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella' Whilst

Casting Stones at Pillars Symbolizing Satan

Naomi Wolf denies she ever suggested that the ISIS

beheadings were staged on the moon.

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #48

Charlotte Lucas