Imagine Fearguth camping and hiking in the Pecos Wilderness

and the Weminuche Wilderness until the end of July.

Imagine Fearguth imagining you imagining that.

Isn't imagination amazing?

Lloyd Mager wants you to know he is a conch blower,

not a conch sucker.

Would you say this monty is half full or half empty?

Harriet Miers' Ass Refuses to Sit in House

Judiciary Committee Chair

"Is al-Qaida weaker or stronger than it was on September

11, 2001?" asks Frances Townsend, Assistant to the President

for Homeland Security. "It's weaker if the talking point is how

President Bush is leading us to victory in the war on terror.

It's stronger if the talking point is why criticism of President

Bush makes us more susceptible to terrorist attack."

"Nuh, uh, uh! Possession is 9/10ths of the law, homeboy!"

Earmark the Pig Feeding on Taxpayer the Dog

Veepenstein #15

The Baron has trained his dog to bite

small children on the butt.

"Isn't it amazing, Mr. Vice President, how we are able to

make grown men wear ridiculous uniforms and stand

at attention while we strut like Oriental potentates?"

"I'm tired of being the dictator of Afghanistan and

you're tired of being the dictator of the United States.

What say we trade jobs, even steven?"

British Prime Minister Reportedly Fond of

Sour Patch Kids

Creationists Gone Wild

(But Without Any Tits)

The Face That Launched a Thousand Slips

World's Worst Jobs #49

Bangladeshi Earthen Pot Stacker

Thinking you're better than someone else indicates

you don't think better than anybody else.

"Just for the hell of it, Mr. Gonzales, would you hazard

a guess as to what percentage of your brain is used for

what you do recall as opposed to what you don't?"

"Hello, is this 911?"

"Yes."

"I would like to report a wildfire near Lake Tahoe."

"Not to worry. It's just a controlled burn."

Why Rush Limbaugh No Longer Abuses Oxycontin

"If Dick wasn't asleep right now, he would tell you what

a great success the surge in Iraq has been."

Welcome to the Republican Party

Home of the Blackest Hearts

and the Whitest People

Representative Tom Tancredo (R-CO) was the only Republican

presidential candidate to address the NAACP Annual Convention

in Detroit. All the other candidates were too busy appeasing the

Republican Party's white rightist base to attend.

In his spare time, David Broder breeds bipartisan zebras.

Most people don't know this, but readers of Bildungblog do.

"If a man, like Senator Vitter, has values and standards," says

Representative Richard Baker (R-LA), "but does not always

live up to them, it does nothing to discredit the validity of those

values and standards, and he is far preferable to those timid souls,

like Fearguth, who, without values and standards, cannot fall

short of them, nor ever run the risk of being charged with hypocrisy."

Winner of USA Outdoor Turkey Toss Barbecues Trophy,

Eats It

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, officer, but your side

headlock technique is pretty amateurish."

While it is true leopards do not change their spots,

they have been known to sell them if the price is right.

"I understand, Peggy, you are so disillusioned with President

Bush you are planning to move back to the 1980s."

Hostess Sno Balls are not just for kids anymore.

Motorcycle Mama Collides with Iron Butterfly

World's Worst Yoobs #5

Debbie Schlussel

Murderer Blames Homocidal Tendency on Ink Poisoning

Grabbing the bull by the horns is easier said than done.

Seeing Ms. July raises the question,

"Is it safe to go back to the beach?"

Even Death rides a Harley.

Birdman of Afghanistan