Tempus Fearguth means it's time for Wakarusa!

Q.E.D.: Bildungblog will be offline until June 6.

"I'm not gonna light my hair on fire," says Governor Tea-Paw

 Bridgefail, "or shoot sparks out of my ears.  I'm just your

average pubcrawling doofus."

"If Al-Qaida ever hooks up with those gays,

it's all over but the shouting!"

Ah, the banality of bankers behaving badly!

What Will Replace Medicare If Paul Ryan Has His Way

Rude Rhymes #49

Cheap Carcass

Ruth Marcus

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #99

Creative Minority Report

Member of Hell's Grannies Biker Gang Claims Arthur

Herbert Fonzarelli (aka 'The Fonz') Wasn't Real

This is not the real Ben Shapiro. This is just a leftist image

of him, spread by the most powerful medium of mass pinko

propaganda in human history.

Vote for Mitt Romney!  He believes what

you believe, even if you changed your

opinion about corn-on-the-cob last night!

Living in Alaska had been bad enough.  But now Sarah Palin

was moving Bullwinkle to Arizona.

"Pardon me, Muammar, but I think my future will be brighter

if I say 'Ciao' and join Sarah Palin's upcoming One Country

bus tour."

"You know, Peace Dove, if the United States of America

 wasn't always warring with somebody, it might decide that

Memorial Day is just too tragic to be celebrated as  a

holiday."

I Remember Dubya #50

Not many people remember the day when

Dubya finally produced a pear-shaped tone.

It didn't last long, but it was worth the wait.

He had been reduced to the absolute essentials:  himself, a

room with pink walls, and his gun.  What more did he need?

Hell, yes! He's a gunhugger!  But he doesn't

hug just ANY damn gun!

"Don't ask me why I'm pulling this damn rope!  I just heard

someone yell, 'War!' and I started tugging!"

Even though it didn't have a Department

of Silly Walks, Belarus still kept all the

ancient Cleesian traditions.

"So, your parents named you after

the 1948 Tucker, eh?  That makes

you almost as famous as Henry

Ford, doesn't it?

"Hey, I thought you said our cammies and facepaint made

 us invisible!"

The Unexpurgated Bible #55

And the Serpent said unto Eve, "Sometimes a tongue is just

a tongue!  Why do you always have to drag sex into it?"

What makes the National Debt a much more

effective monster than, say, Snowbeast, is

that you can't see it, hear it, taste it, smell

it, touch it, or feel it.  You can only fear it,

because the National Debt is ultimately

nothing more than an idea, represented

by numbers stored as magnetic bits on a

computer hard drive somewhere in a

very secret, very scary place.

"I wake up every morning with large breasts," Meghan

McCain writes, "and it doesn’t affect me."  Kris Humphries

wakes up with large breasts, too, but it does affect him.

Just ask Kim Kardashian to show you her $2 million

engagement ring.

"The only meat I'm eating," says Mark

Zuckerberg, "is from chickens, pigs, and goats

I've killed myself with the Scrooch-Gun that

I brought with me from Asteroid B-612."

Warm Scuzzies #190

Max Talbott

"Of course, Sarah Palin can beat Obama, just

like we did in 2008, goddammit!"

The Libyan rebels' campfire-building skills

left something to be desired.

Paul Ryan Showing How He Plans to Push

Grandma Over a Cliff

"Governor Daniels, could you have beaten President Obama

in 2012?"

"Yes, I think so. I mean, no one can know."

"If no one can know, Governor, why do you think so?"