Saturday, March 12, 2016

"It's time to Duck and Cover, Blabbermouse!"
"Cut it out, Dumbo!"
Chicago Granny Denies She Was Giving the Nazi Salute,
Says She Was Just Proving She Could Raise Her Arms
 Higher than John McCain
Will Trump ever learn it's unwise to shout "You're fired!" 
in a crowded theater?
Gingrich Goes for the Goebbels, Makes Bid
to Become Minister of Propaganda in the
Trump Administration
Trump Has a Thing for Skinheads
"As a kid, Vince, I wanted to be a boxer, but nobody made
 gloves small enough to fit my hands."
"Ben Quisling, I thank you for your support!"
Donald Trump, Mob Boss
Maggie Gallagher tried to put on a good face for her 
Marco Rubio fantasy, but she didn't have one. 

Friday, March 11, 2016

Updated Portrait of Jesus and His 13th Disciple
 Hanging in Ben Carson's God Complex 
in Maryland
Ben Carson says Donald Trump is 'very cerebral'.  Well,
so's a stroke.
J. Fred Muggs Doing His Daily Devotions for 
Dave Garroway
Scientists Can Now Control Mouse Minds with Magnets, 
Could Have Yoooge Implications for Ben Carson and 
Other Trump Endorsers
Despite the fact the Trojan Elephant had promised to 
make Troy great again, the citizens were still keeping 
the gate of the city closed. Their recent encounter with 
the Trojan Rabbit was still fresh on their minds and 
they were taking no chances.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Potrzebie Prize #28
Kansas City Star Recipient of High Praise for
Story on the Eradication of the Spelling Bee
Learning that a Furshlugginer Potrzebie = 
a Thousand Kilopotrzebies changed his whole 
outlook on life.
When you visit Trump World, be sure to check out
Tomorrowland.
You can't beat Trump's meat!

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

"Making one dollar in profit is more pleasurable
 than having one hundred orgasms," he said
 flaccidly.
World's Worst Yobs #352
Leon Wolf
Carly Fiorina Takes Revenge on Ted Cruz the Best Way 
She Knows How: By Endorsing Him for President
Tiny Hands Are Quicker Than the Eye
"If he were a tool, Marco Rubio would be a Banana Handle."
"Whaddya mean 'if'?"
Son of Drumpfinator!
When the GOP implosion documentary is produced, 
Peter Dinklage will play Marco Rubio.
Johnny Jupiter and Major Domo Say Trump's Florida
Infomercial Needed More ShamWow
Gimme a Little Kiss, Will You, Huh?
"As President Cruz's 'Trans Ambassador', Caitlyn, would
you be allowed to use the ladies' room in the White House?"
The Unexpurgated Bible #134
"Now the word of the Lord came unto Jonah the son of Lucy, 
saying, 'Arise, and cry against Trump, for the Mother of 
All Capitulations is at hand!'"
Arrested for throwing flash drives over
the White House fence, Kyle Odom said
his Idaho pastor was not his favorite 
Martian.

Tuesday, March 08, 2016

The Unexpurgated Bible #133
"And the scribes said, 'Trump hath Beelzebub, and 
by the prince of the devils casteth he out devils'."
Hey, all you Little Populists, there's still plenty of 
room for you aboard the 2016 Trumpwagon!
"Handpicked by Donald Trump, our professors are 
absolutely terrific — terrific people, terrific brains, 
successful, the best."
Khal Trump Sez:  "I will ride wooden horses across the 
black salt water and I will gut the men in Empty Suits 
and tear down their Establishment!"
Israel and the Great Tribulation
"Vote Kasich, or I'll squish this
Annoying Marshmallow!"
Anti-Trump Groups Think He Might Be 'Peeking'
GOP Duel-in-the-Round, 2016

Monday, March 07, 2016

New York Billionaire Will Not Enter Presidential Race
 to Save America From Another New York Billionaire
Return of the Repressed
"Say that again, buster, and I'll crush your nuts!"
The Unexpurgated Bible #132
"But Mary Matalin looked back on Meet the
 Press, and she became a Pillar of Gallstones."
Dog After Perusing 50,000 Pages of Hillary Clinton's Email
"Howdy, podnuh, could you direct
me to the Dog and Pony Show?"
Uh-oh, looks like Mitt Romney is warming up his 
Etch a Sketch.
Meanwhile, Back in One L Land
"That's me when I was a human being."
"Don't forget you all raised your right hands, 
you swore. Bad things happen if you don't 
live up to what you just did." 
If he were a Bible translation, Donald Trump 
would be the Vulgate.