Looking at Mike DeWine, it's easy to understand

why President Bush's fundraiser for the Senator

was held behind closed doors, with no press coverage.

What to Wear When You Visit Myrtle Beach

Son of Cain believes it should be legal to subject

Abel to 'tough interrogation' before killing him.

The White House said on Thursday that a deal reached with

lawmakers on the treatment of detainees would allow the CIA

to force foreign terrorist suspects to watch Fox & Friends.

Bullshit Moose Hat

Latest Model Pro-Tech Car Buffer

"Take it from me, kid: life in the ocean

isn't all that it's cracked up to be."

Spelling Bee Dropout Blames Kofi Annan and Jimmy Carter

"So, you say you got this from blowing on your thumb?

That's pretty amazing, Michael!"

Mr. Rosetti Goes to Washington

Believe it or not, some people still admire President Bush.

Secretary of State Rice Commenting on Why

She Won't Dignify What Hugo Chavez Said

with a Comment

Thaksin Shinawatra, ex-Prime Minister of

Thailand, is thinking of returning to college

to upgrade his job skills and improve his

chances of landing a high-paying job for

retired autocrats.

President Chavez of Venezuela Wiping

Sulfur Fumes Out of His Eyes

In E. coli, has Popeye finally met

a bully bigger than Bluto?

This is what happens when there is no

social safety net.

Here's the source of the latest buzz in the NFL.

Whoever invented the term 'animal companion'

must have had the orangutan in mind at the time.

Some elephants in the room are harder to ignore

than others.

Worldwide reaction

to President Bush's UN address

was predictable.

Face it: your artillery cannon isn't the latest model and it

is really beginning to look its age. So, before it becomes

the subject of nasty gossip in your neighborhood, take it to

Maaco and choose the 'UN Peacekeeper' paint option.

Badie Aref, Saddam Hussein's Defense Attorney,

Telling His Funniest Lawyer Joke

Something to Consider #1
In certain situations, wearing camouflage doesn't work very
 well.  For example, we see here a cadre of neoconservatives
 trying to infiltrate an al-Qaida sleeper cell.

In a SINGLE DAY, a general in Thailand has achieved what

President Bush has been striving toward for FIVE YEARS:

suspension of the Constitution, termination of both Houses

of Congress and the Supreme Court. If this isn't proof positive

of our President's incompetence, what is?

Asked why he had parked his car in a

handicapped spot, Joe Lieberman replied,

"I have a vision impairment." Asked why

the numeral '2' appears on his license

plate, he responded, "Did you say '2'? I

always thought it was a 'J' for 'Joementum'."

"Hello, Ambassador Bolton? This is Pico the Walrus calling.

I hear your nomination is in jeopardy. That's too bad,

because you're the only member of our species at the UN

right now."

King Midas Takes a Short Break From Turning

Everything into Gold

Effigy of Pope Burned in Iraq, the Cradle of Civilization

Fans at This Year's Zorro's Black Whip Convention

"Eek! a bull!"

Puppeteer plays fly ball to deep left field perfectly.

They don't call Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, President

of Liberia, the 'Iron Lady' for nothing.

Perfect equilibrium between authority and liberty on

Planet Earth will be attained when there is one soldier,

one citizen. This soldier is looking for a citizen, and he

has his eyes on you.

This Mari tribal chieftain in Baluchistan is more

sensitive about what people say about his beard

than what they about his gun, his hat, his wardrobe,

or his religion. Suggestion: if you run into him on a

Baluchistan street, say, "Dude, if I may be so cool,

your beard rules!"

We've been told time and time again to "keep your

eye on the ball." But how are you supposed to do

that when it's sitting on top of your head?

For a few frightening seconds, Oliver Stone felt his body

being invaded by the demonic spirit of Oliver North. So he

bit his tongue really hard and that seemed to keep it at bay.

Why do we remember the Red Baron? Because he was

the pilot with at least 73 confirmed kills during WWI.

Why have we forgotten the Orange Baron? Because he

took off, crashed into the sea, and sank without a trace.

Even after they reached old age, Ann Althouse and Helen Smith

mocked younger women who didn't wear Mayan Hooter Hats.

Remember when 'Puffed Rice' was 'Shot from Guns'?

Well, it still is.

Disguised as a German officer, Karl Rove has been

using the Enigma Machine in an attempt to confound

Democrats in the fall elections. What he doesn't know

is that a Democrat, disguised as Alan Turing, has it all

figured out and is reading 'Bush's brain' like a dime novel.

British policemen never look forward to

National Shoe Fly Day.

Pope Benedict Wipes Egg Off Face Before Eating Crow

"I'm saying that nobody knows what humiliating treatment is.

What does it mean?" It means you are Stephen Hadley, National

Security Adviser, and you are playing the fool on national television.

Indonesian Muslim Nonviolently Disagreeing

with the Pope

When DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff 'makes eyes' at one

of his subordinates, it only means, "You're so far down the

chain of command you're lucky to be a missing link."

What if, suddenly, all of the metallic weapons

on Earth were suddenly sucked into space

by a giant electromagnet? Wouldn't that

be wonderful? Yes, it would. But, the

day after that, people would still be killing

each other with all sorts of non-metallic objects,

including their bare hands. So, buy a gun, join the

NRA, and become a law-abiding pessimist.

Just ask Jonathan Woodgate and Thierry Henry what

it's like to play soccer in a gravity-free environment.

Jessica Valenti, the young woman in the center of this

group portrait, has apologized to Ann Althouse for having

a nice pair of knockers and for not being 55-years-old.