Testy?  Yes!

Testes?  No!

Rapa Nui! Rapa Nui! Rapa Nui!

Fearguth is headed to the Easter 

Island Festival.  He'll be back

 online April 12th.

Eddie Driggers is the Chief of Police in North Charleston.

It's unfair to stereotype someone, but some people

stereotype themselves.

Democrats began to worry when Schumer started

making the Sign of Dubya.

Molly Ringwald was Pretty in Pink.  Todd Kincannon

is Pretty in Orange.

'No Operational Guns Allowed on the NRA 

Convention Floor'? Wouldn't 70,000 good

 guys with guns in the same place be the 

safest place on Earth?

Remember Linus and his security blanket?  Well,

Rand Paul has one, too, and you can buy a genuine

 reproduction of it for only $75.00.

Rahm Emanuel Before Being 'Humbled' by the Runoff

After

'The Bronysaurus Really Did Exist, Study Says'

If your eyesight is good enough to see that the Rand Paul

Eye Chart costs $20.16, you don't need one.

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #69

Brandon Morse

RuPaul was nice, but she had a mean sister,

RudePaul.

You've never really been poor in America until you have 

also been humiliated by Sam Brownback.

"What do you do for a living, Mr. Slager?"

"I lie.  I'm a cop."

Rand Paul Challenges Ted Cruz to GOP Creep-Off

Dickjamin Cheneyahu

Carly Fiorina says that "liberal environmentalists have 

prevented the building of a single new reservoir" in 

California.  Could that be because every river in the

 state of any significance has already been dammed?

This is the face of the Iraq War, and it's not pretty.

"What's Louie so excited about?"

"He just defeated Hitler in Wolfenstein 3D."

Rand Paul Sez:  "Use the Aqua Buddhist profile pic to 

show your support to your friends across the country."

Bank Robber:  "Everybody freeze! Everybody down 

on the ground!"

Marsha Blackburn:  "Well, which is it, young feller? 

You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? 

Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And 

if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see..."

Bank Robber:  "Shut up!"

Marsha Blackburn:  "Okay, then."

Contrary to popular belief, there were 41, not 40, signers 

of the Constitution.

How do you like Rand Paul's

new campaign slogan?

He had come from the future to 

Defeat the Washington Machine!

They said, "Rand Paul, if you want more 

fans, you'll have to get on the stick."

And so he did.

Dogs Waiting in Line for Big Semi-Annual Clearance

Sale at PetSmart

Why do zombies always appear in public with their arms

extended and their palms parallel to the ground?

"I am not a tattoo!"

If you were a young person, would you want to be a 

member of a party led by someone who looks like this?

Mary had a little lamb,

but not anymore.

Indiana Jesus Sez:  "Memories is the 

ideal place to get great Christian pizza.

Thanks for the Memories! Also,

GoFundMe."

Barronelle Stutzman, a Washington state florist, has

become the second big winner on the popular game show,

Who Wants to Be a Bigot Millionaire?

Gun Goes Off During Easter Church Service

 at the Cathedral of the Holy Hand Grenade 

in Altoona, Pennsylvania

Q: Should printers be forced to make ‘God Hates Fags’ 

signs for Westboro Baptist Church?

A: Only if they are followers of Gay Religion.

What Jeb Bush Was Wearing

the Day He Registered to 

Vote as 'Hispanic'

For millennia, the idea of Infinite Regress was rejected

 because it was logically absurd.  And then it became 

the platform of the Republican Party.

While overseas, Senator Cotton developed a taste for 

Echidna in the Raw.  He says it makes a delicious 

snack when you use its beak like a straw to suck

the juices out.

"Governor Walker, your critics on the right say your face 

is skewed to the left. How do you intend to address this 

issue?"

"Hey, Hucksterbee!  The Militant Gay Community is 

comin' to get yo mama!"

Rick Brattin (R-MO) is what you might call a 'Bascart

Spy'.  He hangs out in supermarkets to see if people

on food stamps are buying filet mignon and crab legs.  

So, he's introduced legislation to ban their purchase

with food stamps, along with chips, cookies, and soft

 drinks.  Rick, you see, is a Christian.

'On this Easter Sunday, never forget that Cruz means 

'Cross' and that I have the stigmata to prove it."

World's Worst Jobs #136

Japanese 'Lonely Death' Apartment Cleaner