Saturday, February 01, 2014

He had been Goliath, the champion of Joe Scarborough,
Charles Lane, Mark Halperin, and the other Philistines.
And now, David had defeated him.
Looks Like More 'Great News for John McCain'

Friday, January 31, 2014

That Awkward Moment When You're Trying to Think of
What to Say Next
Philip Wilheit, Jr. Doing His Crocodile
Dundee Impression
Good Deal

Bad Deal
Charleston, West Virginia Funeral Director Says Formalde-
hyde in the Public Water Supply Will Obviate the Need for 
Post-Mortem Embalming in His City
Whiteworld #17
White males make up only 36% of the U.S. population,
 yet they constitute 67% of the guests appearing on 
Face the Nation, 67% on Fox News Sunday, and 62%
 on Meet the Press.  The White Men's Rights Movement
is obviously falling down on the job.
 Factoid of the Hour #19
"Neanderthals 'Not Fully Extinct'"
"When I used the phrases, 'mentally retarded' and 
'intellectually disabled', I wasn't referring to 
other people.  I was referring to myself."
"Goochy goochy goo!"
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #42
Noah Rothman

Thursday, January 30, 2014

First, there was the Regular Roll. Then came the Double Roll, 
followed by the Mega Roll. Now comes the Gargantuan Roll!
"Do I look pissed?  Of course I'm pissed!  I dropped a cool 
$249.95 for a Norelco Men's Rotary Sensotouch 3D Electric 
Razor with a Three-Setting Jet Clean System.  And look at 
me now:  I'm whiskerier than ever!"
"OK, I'll admit I'm a wolf.  But I'm not
big, I'm not bad, and I LOVE Grandma!"
Q:  Why is the Wizard of Oz hiding behind the curtain?
A:  He thinks he's mixing drinks in a Salt Lake City bar.
 All Models over 18 Years of Age
"Are you a flake?" Chris Wallace asked. 
The #1 Occupational Disease of Rand Paul and
Other Libertarians
Things to Avoid #27
A Quackmire of Ducks
Kissing Gourami

Kissing Gohmert
If you seek an historical explanation
 for Glenn Beck's current wingnuttiness,
 you need to understand that, as a youth,
 his nickname was 'Highpockets'.
If State Senator Glenn Hegar is elected to be Texas
Comptroller, don't mess with him.  He's armed and
considered dangerous.
Martha MacCallum Sez:  “Women get paid exactly 
what they’re worth.  They are worth a heck of a
lot---just not as much as men, like Sean Hannity,
Neal Cavuto, Steve Doocy, Brian Kilmeade, and
Roger Ailes.  Especially Roger Ailes."

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Stan Laurel Reincarnated as
Pope Francis
Lindsey Graham 'Literally About to Blow Up'
After last night's State of the Union address, the talk
out of Hollywood is that Representative Michael 
Grimm (R-NY) will be starring in a remake of 
the 1930s classic, Little Tough Guy.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #542
Randy Weber
Two-Minute Haters #37
Todd Kincannon
Grim Fairy Tales #2
Billy Goat Grimm Threatens to Break
Reporter in Half and Butt Him Off 
'Fucking Balcony' in House of 
Representatives

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Old Men with Guns #16
Rodney Bruce Black
If Greta Van Susteren says you're a 'creep' and 
a 'real jerk', you must be Erick Erickson.
Warm Scuzzies #445
Max Mosley
Carney is defined as "a desperate person who survives 
through trickery. A Carney has no life or soul and can be
 found in trailers, carnivals, on a couch drinking GO 2 Cola, 
and in the Obama Administration."
"So, you say you'll take off your helmets if Pharrell burns
his hat?"
"What's that?"
"That's one of Congressman Issa's pet
Payday Loan Sharks."
Allen West Sez:  “The left tries to win the women’s vote by
 talking from the waist down, and I tried to win the women's 
vote by talking from the waist up.  That obviously isn't my
 better half, because I lost."
Q:  Why are the birds angry?
A:  They don't like to be used as NSA spies.

Monday, January 27, 2014

World's Worst Yoobs #141
Betsy Woodruff
In the eyes of Brigadier General Martin P. Schweitzer,
Representative Renee Ellmers (R-NC) is 'smoking hot'.
Is it because of her Magic Balls?
Is the Grand Canyon the vast empty space carved out
by the Colorado River, or is the Grand Canyon the rock
 walls that frame the vast empty space?  How you answer
this question will determine how old you believe the
Grand Canyon is.
Trey Radel (R-FL) will resign from Congress today as a 
consequence of his cocaine bust last November.  Radel
is the latest victim of the Obama Administration's big
gigantic left-wing conspiracy against conservatives
and the Republican Party.
"Try Arby's® NEW French Dip & Swiss:  
It's Cheesier, Meatier, Dippier!"
Rightbloggers and Other 
Internet Biohazards #145
Victory Girls

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Pinky and the Brain