"I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to remove your Lucha Libre

mask before entering the polling place."

Researchers still don't know what to call stick insects when

they get tired of walking and just sit around.

"If you're elected to the Senate, Ms. Angle, will you 'woman up'

by burning your Social Security card, by refusing to accept

$174,000 a year in taxpayer-funded salary, by rejecting

government health benefits, and by declining to be enrolled

in the Federal Employees' Retirement System?"

"G'night guys!  It's been one hell of a party!"

"My fellow Iraqis, I'm holding a Browning

Hi-Power which George Bush will wrest

one day from my cold, dead hand and put

on display at SMU."

I Remember Dubya #41

"Don't forget, America!  I kept you safe for eight years

and led the Texas Rangers into the World Series!"

"Why is Andrew Breitbart flapping his arms and

saying, 'Buack! buack! buack!'?  Does he think

he's a chicken?"

"Yeah, but with a big difference:  he's the only

chicken impersonator who's boycotting NPR."

"Justice Thomas, I understand you once considered
entering the priesthood.  Since then, have you ever
 wished you had?"

Reinhard Pferdmann Accused

of Exaggerating His 5th SS

Wiking Panzer Division

Military Record

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #72

Classical Values

"I know it might scare you to hear a black man say that

violent revolution is on the table.  But it's OK because

I'm a Republican."

Johnny Rotten Apple

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #239

David Barton

Sarah Palin Going Roquefort

Greedheads Galore #3

Joe Ricketts

To help soothe his hurt fee fees, Fox News

has just awarded Juan Williams a 3-year,

$2 million contract.  The line will form to

the right for those of you hoping to be the

next to suffer the indignity of being sacked
by NPR.

The good news is that the 53 miles of Invisible Border Fence

between the U. S. and Mexico built so far only cost $19

million per mile.  The bad news is that it doesn't work and

there are 1,947 miles to go.

Was it Barbara Eden's 'Muslim Garb' that
made Juan Williams nervous, or was it,
perhaps, something else?

William Fulton, owner of Drop Zone Security in Anchorage,

Alaska, wants you to know that even though he looks like

a thug, acts like a thug, and talks like a thug, he's not a thug.

Rude Rhymes #33

Plum Scary

Bob Perry

New York to Soon Be Overrun With Stink Bugs

That Smell Really Bad When Scared by Bedbugs

March to Keep Timothy Noah Alive Called Off

Due to Lack of Satirists

"Madam, are you a member of the Freedomworks Tea Party,

the 1776 Tea Party, the Tea Party Nation, the Tea Party

Express, the Tea Party Patriots, or, are you just fond of
teabagging in general?"

Hillary Clinton After Hearing Christine

O'Donnell Admires Her

Now that he has been fired by NPR, Juan Williams can, at

last, let his inner bigot run naked in the rain on Fox News.

Clarence and Ginni Thomas's Favorite Band

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #71

Washington Examiner

"Have I told you the story about how my involvement in the

civil rights movement in the 1960s resulted in the loss of

the full use of the middle finger I depend on when I express

my opinion of the NAACP?"

Clarence and Ginni Make It Official:

They've Become a Corporation!

"Better get a move on, K-Lo, or you'll be late for the

Fatcat Summit in Palm Springs."

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #81

Stephen Green and Robert Stacy McCain

'Drunken' Gene Found, Wife Really Pissed

Dan Riehl, Glenn Reynolds' Attack Dog, Gears Up for

Battle with Conor Friedersdorf

"OK, ma'am, so you're opposed to erecting a mosque

near Ground Zero.  How about a pyramid?  You look

like you might be old enough to be in favor of that."

Fan of Orval Faubus Gets Dislodged in Time,  

Ends Up in New York City in 2010

"You are probably wondering why a member of the U. S. House

of Representatives is standing here holding a bicycle pump. 
Well, I'm also a Dallas Republican and a member of the Tea
Party Caucus.  Now, doesn't what I'm doing right now make
a lot more sense?"

"Hi, I'm Paul Gottfried, and you've probably

never heard of me.  That's my problem."

Sarah Palin criticized Maureen Dowd. Then Paris Hilton

criticized Perez Hilton. Next thing you know, everybody

had jumped naked and were sitting around criticizing

each other.

No Procrastinators Allowed!

"Sorry, soldier, you're no match for Mao. 
Next!"

"Some of you may be wondering why my hair always looks like

I've just taken a roll in the hay.  Well, it's like this:  there's a

lot more hay in New York City than most people realize."

Who You'll Meet If You Try to Enter Joe Miller's Past

Last Known Fan of Cat Mother and the All Night Newsboys

Found Unplugged by Aimlessly Wandering Pakistani

It's not 'No Comment', Jack;  it's 'No Questions'.  Freedom

of the Press to these despots-to-be means:  we speak, the

press, which exists only as a megaphone, transcribes what we

speak, and the people listen respectfully and obediently. 

'Questions', these authoritarians will tell you, are

unconstitutional, not found in their Bill of Rights. 

Poll Finds D.C. Elites Tepid to Tea Parties,

Warmer to Brown Bag Parties

Jimmy McMillan, Gubernatorial Candidate for

the 'Rent Is Too Damn High Party' in New

York, Throws Down the Gauntlet; Will

the Reverend Bob Dobbs Pick It Up?

"Good golly, 'Hydraulic Fracking' really

turns me on, too.!"

"To all you Independents out there in Centrist America,

we salute you!"

Joe Miller Says East Germany Can Be Model for Border

Security;  "Berlin Wall Very Effective in Keeping Illegal

Aliens Out of West Germany," He Adds