Concerned Trolls

Unconcerned Trolls

"Do not panic!  We have everything under control!"

"What I love about New Hampshire and what we have in

common is our extreme love for liberty. You're the state

where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington

and Concord. Minnesota's the state that supplied the

Tonka Trucks, loaded with Bisquick and Spam, that

helped George Washington defeat Benedict Arnold 

at the Battle of Little Big Horn."

“I have actually asked the Pentagon," said President Obama,

"whether or not the procedures that have been taken in terms

 of Bradley Manning's confinement are appropriate and are

meeting our basic standards. They assured me that they are.”

Warm Scuzzies #158

Ther-Rx Corporation

First, They Came for Wisconsin, and I Did Not Speak Out

As his home state of Oklahoma was burning to the ground,

Senator Inhofe continued to play his famous 'Global-

Warming-Is-Exaggerated' Fiddle.

World's Worst Yobs #212

Eric Bolling

President Obama Sez:  “Nuclear energy remains our largest

source of fuel that produces no carbon emissions. To meet

our growing energy needs and prevent the worst con-

sequences of climate change, we’ll need to increase

our supply of nuclear power. It’s that simple."

"Governor Branstad, why is it taking so long for the

Republicans to pass the 'Crazy, Give-a-Handgun-to-a-

Schizophrenic Bill'?"

"Some remember the cartoons from the history books.

There are people alive today that remember themselves.

Wheel barrows being, with cash being carried, to buy bread.

That was a cartoon, I saw it in my history book."

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #49

The Hitcher 2:  the Eyes of Rutger Hauer

Warm Scuzzies #157

Carl Kruger

I Remember Dubya #46

"I bet you got A's in penmanship in elementary school,

Mr. President!"

"Wow, I've never seen a more artistic rendering

of the letter 'G' in my life!"

"I really like the way you hold your pen so

presidentially!"

"Uh, Mr. President, I hate to remind you,

but you're beginning to color outside

the lines again!"

If our national debt looked as scary as Pat Boone, Congress

would raise taxes on corporations and the wealthy overnight.

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #104

Paul Broun, Luke O'Dell, Stuffed Mama Grizzly, and

Dudley Brown

Why is it always bad to open a can of worms,

but not a can of grasshoppers?

Robber Fly Sez:  "I don't understand why people are so

afraid to look me in the eyes."

Libyan Couch Potato Now Sitting, Still Waiting for Allah

to Give Him the Command to Stand

Appearances to the contrary notwithstanding, Treasury

Secretary Geithner insisted the sky was not falling.

"Have you ever noticed how my nose looks like

it would crawl off my face if I would let it?"

Remember those old ladies who were always

 clapping on Monty Python's Flying Circus?

Well, they still are, except now they're teabaggers.

The Unexpurgated Bible #51

"And it came to pass, while he was taking

 the Pledge of Allegiance, Mitch was parted

from them, and carried up into Heaven."

Centrist:  Well-to-Do Person Who Wants to

Maintain the Status Quo in Order to

Keep Your Hands Off His Stack

"Behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a

voice out of the cloud, which said, 'This is my beloved Son,

 in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him'."

Gino Paoletti, Bristol Palin's New Heartthrob, Revealed to

Be Member of Berlusconian Sect of Christian Pantytheists

Two-Minute Haters #17

Peter King

[Click on Image to

Feel the Hate]

T-Shirt for Voters Now Suffering from Buyer's Remorse

"My toilets don't work in my house, and Joe the

Plumber never returns my calls. Who's to blame

for this? That's right: President Obama."

"I wish we had a Siberia," says Martin Harty, a New

Hampshire state representative, "so we could ship

the mentally ill, the retarded, people with physical

disabilities and drug addictions all off to freeze to

death and die and clean up the population."

Mr. Harty is 91 and, yes, he's a Republican.

"The government is taking over three Tylenol plants following

a blizzard of drug recalls and a Food and Drug Administration

criminal investigation into safety issues at the factories."

"We don't need no regulation

We don't need no quality control
No dark sarcasm in the board room
Regulators leave those corporations alone!"

"But as the ice ripped that hole in the Titanic," said

Michele Bachmann, "water started being taken on,

and the engineer came out and brought the blueprint

 of the Titanic. Water came into the first chamber,

spilled over to the second, spilled over to the third,

and by the time it filled up so many chambers, it

was over. It was impossible to resurrect that ship."

[Scholars are still divided over whether the

Minnesota Republican was comparing the

Titanic to the United States or to Newt

Gingrich's run for the presidency.]

Even Congressman Barton laughed when he told

the joke about how ExxonMobil would go out of

business without taxpayer subsidies.

FLYING CARS: They're Coming Soon.  Really!

"Something the matter, dear?  You look white

as a sheet!"

See all those extra pounds Chris Christie lugs around?

It's not fat; it's bullshit.

Warm Scuzzies #156

Claire McCaskill

Dalai Lama Swears Off Politics, Opens NogginTops Store

"Since you were such a Centrist on Earth, Mr. Broder,

welcome to Purgatory.  Hope you enjoy the music!

Arizona Adopts Colt 45 as

Official State Malt Liquor

Fictionalized Life of David Broder Rockets

to #1 on New York Times Bestseller List

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #103

LaShawn Barbert and Ann Althouse

New Cache of Eva Braun Photos Shows

Al Jolson, But No Barack Obama

Smirking Chimp

Smoking Chimp

Is it accidental that Mexico, one of the most violent

countries in the world, is also the home of Carlos Slim,

the richest man in the world?

Private Sector Creates 192,000 New Dehumanizing, Dull,

Dirty, Dangerous, and Demeaning Jobs in February

"We understand, Mr. Gingrich, that to show

the love you have for your country, every

time you committed adultery you first sang

The Star-Spangled Banner and recited

the Pledge of Allegiance."