Saturday, May 12, 2012

Rand Paul Explaining Why He Doesn't Think Barack
 Obama's 'Views on Marriage Could Get Any Gayer"
Michele Bachmann Requests Withdrawal of Dual Swiss
 Citizenship, Citing Her Life-Long Fear of Caramel Apples 
Henry Kissinger Speaks Out Against Proposed 
English-Accent-Only Law
Over the past year, JP Morgan Chase spent $2 million 
lobbying for the loophole that allowed it to lose $2 billion. 
Among banksters, this is called Return on Investment. 

When he heard one of his advisers describe him as 'deeply
compassionate' and 'unfailingly kind', Mitt Romney
 responded in the only way he knew how.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #386
Jane Skrovota

World's Worst Yobs #251
Timothy Carney
Young Oedipus and His Mom
Q:  What's the difference between Jamie Dimon,
Chairman of JP Morgan Chase, and a bookie?
A:  Jamie Dimon wears nicer suits.
Unlike Sasha and Malia Obama, Tripp Easton 
Mitchell Johnston, Bristol Palin's son, didn't watch
 Glee.  He just wanted to know where his daddy was.
Paul 'Come Get Some' Babeu Drops Out of House Race

Thursday, May 10, 2012

No, this is not the Governor of Oklahoma.

This is.

When, on The View, Howard Stern asked Whoopi Goldberg 
about her love life, that was the cue Jesus had been awaiting 
for two thousand years to begin the Parousia. 
"I am only a baseball mascot, but even I am smart enough
to know that the presidential race from here until November
is just an excuse for selling millions and millions of dollars
 worth of political advertisements on TV."
"You must know that I'm about to die.  Why else would you
 be sticking all these mics in my face?"

Some people listen to what former Lieutenant-General
Jerry Boykin says.  It's their cue to put him back into
his straitjacket.

Where the Republican Base Lives
The Latest Stage in Zippy's Evolution
Albino Hedgehog Sez:  "Warning!  You may not be protected!"

Not Shit
Sleep Researchers Trying to Solve Puzzle of Why 
Sheldon Adelson Appears So Often in People's 
Nightmares
The Two Warning Signs of Kaintuckitis,
a Disease for Which There Is No Cure
When she heard that Mitt Romney had been an anti-gay 
high-school bully, the Queen of England got royally p-oed.
"So, Mr. Goldberg, when did you first begin to suspect 
that liberals were cheating in the war of ideas?"
Take away all its local, state, and federal subsidies and tax 
breaks, and Corporate America would collapse like a 
house of cards.
"Ms. Bachmann, in response to your Swiss citizenship, 
Mark Krikorian writes, 'The fact that even a patriot like 
Bachmann would do something like this is testament to
 how thoroughly the moral relativism of the post-national 
Left has permeated our culture'.  Do you recall what it
felt like when you first got permeated by moral relativism?"

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #385
Scott Boston
"You say, Mr. Romney (and I quote):  'My view is that 
marriage itself is a relationship between a man and women, 
and that’s my own preference'.  That sure sounds like the
definition of polygamy to me.  Does Ann agree with you
on this?"
Warm Scuzzies #293
Diageo

The Bipedal Buttsore Speaketh

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Contrary to popular belief, Jonah Goldberg is not 
overweight.  He just pads his body like he does 
his resume.
Ernest P. Worrell swears that Representative Vern 
Buchanan (R-FL), when he's not grifting or grafting, 
speaks spam as a second language. 

Other Things North Carolina Is Famous For

Krispy Kreme Donuts 
Winston Cigarettes
John Edwards
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #145
Michelle Malkin and Bryan Preston
Mourdock Credits NeoConfederate Necktie for
Victory Over Lugar
Was Rick Santorum being raptured, or had he scored with 
Lindsay Lohan?  That was what Jay Leno wanted to know.
The Tyranny of Pulitzers: How Jonah Goldberg 
Cheats in the Battle of the Books

Indiana Republicans Trade One Dick for Another

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Religiously speaking, Bacon Sundaes had kept them
apart for millennia.
Sorry, little one, but you've been thrown into this 
world and there's only one way to get out.
Veined Octopus Sez:  "Occupy Wall Street!
Also, Coconut Shells!"

In the singular, humans can be delightful.  
In the plural, dreadful.

He had pretty much given up on formulating a Unified 
Field Theory, but he was still working on a Conspiracy 
Theory of Conspiracy Theories.

Seamus Sez:  "Let sleeping dogs lie and lying dogs sleep, 
but Master Mitt should have to wear the Cone of Shame
 until Election Day, 2012." 

Sign of the Times #26
Romney Responds to Obama's
'Marxist' Campaign Slogan
If your brain hurts, would you want a Birther,
like Dr. John Whitley, operating on it?

Rick Santorum 'Endorsing' Mitt Romney
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Forming 
Broad Alliance to Take 'Bold' Action on Washday
"Even though I opposed it, the auto bailout was my idea."