World Record: Dude Dives 12 Inches into 35 Feet of Water

Two Arguments for the Elimination of Television

Bill Clinton Heartbroken by Barack Obama's Refusal 
to Kiss His Ass

Winebibber

Chilibibber

David Brooks Explaining How to Replace the Bag

in an Intellectual Vacuum

John McCain Refinding His Inner Rebel

When Their Hearts Were Young and Gay

View from the Abstinence-Only Compound

How Ninjas Navigated Before the Invention of GPS

Grover Norquist says Barack Obama is "John Kerry with a tan."

He thinks of himself as Ronald Reagan without a cap.

American Empire #28

State Secrets

In 2012, a U. S. Supreme Court justice was ambushed
and gunned down in Washington, D. C., as he drove
home from work. Ironically, the justice had written the
majority opinion in the landmark Heller decision,
which struck down the city's ban on handguns.

Pizza Patrón

Norm

Deviation from the Norm

Messrs. Nasty and Brutish Before

the House Judiciary Committee

(Mr. Short Too Close to the Floor to Be Seen)

"Take it easy, folks! I'm just letting McCain be McCain."

"Did you see what Peggy Noonan wrote about me in the Wall Street

Journal yesterday? She highlighted the antic part of my nature, my

natural wit, my tropism toward comedy. She's right, you know.

I'm the Dennis Miller of septuagenarians."

Who you gonna call when your Playboy Playmate's upset?

Stressbusters!

Q: What's all the commotion?

A: It's nothing but 500,000 Floridians taking their guns to work.

Ignorance Tops $140 a Barrel; Mad Scramble

Underway for Drilling Rights on People's Heads

Barnacle on a Rock

Barnacle on the Legislative Branch

Five SCOTUS Catholics Rule It's Constitutional to Use Handguns

to Defend Against Four SCOTUS Protestants and Jews

Mole Rat Prefers to Be Called 'Nude', Not 'Naked'

Owner claims his pet rock, the world's largest, is an extraterrestrial.

They just don't make Marlboro Men the way they used to.

"I apologize when my passion or my freeness and my flawness

of character get in the way of the content of my message. And

when I am in the way of the message then I'm not only apologetic,

I'm downright sorry I'm Michael Pfleger and not George Clooney."

Although he believes the President has the authority to order

someone buried alive, John Yoo doesn't believe any American

President would ever exercise it. Good thing George Bush has

stayed healthy, or John Yoo might have had to change his mind.

Kim Jong-il Wondering Which Rogue State Will Replace

North Korea in the Axis of Evil

New D.C. Freeway to Be Named in Honor of Tony Scalia

Did you know that FISA spelled backwards is 'as if'? Barack

Obama is the quintessential Politician of 'As If'. Concerned

about warrantless wiretapping? Not to worry--Obama will

talk as if he shares your concern. Bothered by retroactive

immunity for law-breaking telecoms? Relax--Obama will

act as if he's bothered, too. Worried about the evisceration

of the Fourth Amendment? Chill out--Obama will behave

as if he's a bigger worry wart than you. Come November,

you might want to follow his example and vote as if you

support Barack Obama for President.

Having a small brain does have its advantages.

Ottmar was reduced to tears, not by the occasion of his
retirement, but by his allergic reaction to green, leafy
plants.

If this picture of Esther Slater McDonald seems blurry,

it's because each pixel is a portrait of one of the Justice

Department applicants she screened based on political

or ideological factors.

Students at Pensacola Christian College are forbidden from

performing 'optical intercourse' and 'making eye babies'. So,

don't gaze into the eyes of this winsome lass too intently,

lest ye be screwed.

Lamar Smith (R-TX) doesn't take Scott McClellan too seriously.

Neither does his toupée.

"Peeking duck? Oh, now I get it! HaHaHaHaHa!"

Sarko the Giant More Popular in the U. S. Than in France;

"He Has a Certain Smile Americans Like," Observers Say

The Potrzebie Prize #6

Steny Hoyer Extolled for Hailing FISA Capitulation

as "a Significant Victory for the Democratic Party"

When the last man on Earth died, no one pried the gun

from his cold, dead hand.

Kashmiri Rock Concert

Escher's Cats

Who said dog and panda DNA just won't splice?

John Nance Garner is remembered for saying the vice

presidency wasn't worth "a warm bucket of piss." Well,

if Tim Pawlenty ever holds the office, the bucket won't

even be warm.

Chris Cannon Explodes, Bystanders Slightly

Injured by Flying Shards of Ass

OIG and OPR Confirm Politicization of Hiring at DOJ;

AG Staff Overly Fond of Alphabet Soup, Says FBI

Dr. Zarkoff Awarded $300 Million McCain Prize for

Building First Rocketship to Fly to Planet Mongo