Saturday, July 26, 2008

According to the Associated Press, the United States is now winning
the war that two years ago seemed lost. That does not mean the
war has ended or that U.S. troops have no role in Iraq. They will
need to keep winning the war for the next 50, maybe 100, years.
The number of John McCain's flip-flops this election season
is now up to 69. Pretty goldarned erotic, wouldn't you say?
Peter Hong, a Minnesota GOP stalwart, has been busted for
attempting to purchase prostitution tickets en bloc, a clear
violation of Ticketmaster's anti-scalping policy which is being
rigorously enforced in the run-up to the Republican National
Convention.
"Here's a marketing strategy you should consider, John.
Say to the electorate: 'If you're among the first sixty million
Americans to vote for me on November 4, I'll double your order
for free. That's right: buy one war, get one free'. It worked
for me in '88, and it ought to work for you in '08."
Citizen of the World

Citizen of Lilliput
Old Milwaukee Man Arrested for Felony Possession of a Short
Temper and Misdemeanor Mowing While Intoxicated
Milwaukee Man Charged with Shooting His
Lawn Boy Because It Wouldn't Start
If you doubt that too much sugar will make your
kids hyperactive, consider the hummingbird.
"In terms of experience, Senator McCain, would
you say you're 'wet-aged' or 'dry-aged'? And is
that a blackjack in your hand or a lightsaber?"
Did you know there are 10,000,000 millionaires in the world today?
Did you know millionaires represent less than one-fifth of 1 percent
of the world's 6.7 billion people? If you would like to be a millionaire
and can handle the rich life, just click on the image.
Channelers of Bio-Energy Rally to the
Flag of Alternative Medicine Guru
"I totally agree, El Toro: bullfighting doesn't make
a lick of sense. But the show must go on."
"I don't care what the government says. It still doesn't add up."
"I'm politically independent.
I'm totally bipartisan.
I'm an absolute centrist.
I'm a big fan of Joe Lieberman.
Who am I?"
Just out of camera range, counterprotesters were
carrying the banner, Don't 'Jerusalemize' Sodom.
"Sure, John McCain's my buddy. If he did for you
what he's done for me, he'd be your buddy, too."
Haute Cuisine
With a Senior Equity Reverse Mortgage, he had turned a portion
of the equity in his home into tax-free income and had used it for
what he wished--all while staying in his home.
Displaced children do not endorse products. But this one
thinks Lifesaver Radials are too good not to be talked about.
"Did Grover Norquist really, like, say Don Young is a rat
head in a Coke bottle? If he did, man, that's the shiznit!"

Friday, July 25, 2008

"Ich bin ein Fudge-Esser."
Tour de Force

Tour de Farce
Democratic National Convention, or
Black Bag Job?
Paths of Victory

Old McDonald Had a Farm
The Birdman of Gitmo
"Welcome to the Exercise Yard, Detainee 72508!
Looks like you're the only one who showed up for
today's soccer match."
When little boys learn how to climb and throw rocks
at the same time, they will be in very heaven.
"Is it just me," asks John Derbyshire, "or have 
presidential candidates been getting worse and worse 
these past few decades? These two are appalling. I
 shall not vote for either. Fact, I wouldn't trust either
 of them to mail a letter or empty my litterbox."
The Governator's smokin'.

So's his pooch.
Having softened his stance against Republican presidential
hopeful John McCain, James Dobson ascended into heaven.
"Obama," says John McCain, "would rather lose a war in
order to win a political campaign. Me? I would rather
lose my temper."

Thursday, July 24, 2008


He Walks by Day
Flour Power Activist in Afghanistan Supports Non-Violent Cookery
"And that's when I said, 'Who needs a Sex Pistol
when you've got a Dick Armey?"
Campaign Strategists Riding Their Election Cycles
Woman in Black Opposes 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'
Policy Toward Gay Intergalactic Aliens
If, as Senator McCain claims, the Surge is responsible for our
having won the Iraq War, someone needs to pass along this
good news to the friends and loved ones of the 219 American
soldiers killed and the 1,445 wounded since the first of the year.
Wisconsin Law Prof Sued for Looking Scurrilous
People Yelling 'Theatre' in a Crowded Fire
"A surge is really a counterinsurgency made up of a number of
components. First, there's the Ur-Surge. Then comes the Surge
A Quo, followed by the Surge Ad Quem. Finally, there's the
Über-Surge. I am deeply disappointed that no rational
person understands this."
MRAP Unwrapped
"Hey, Mom, I can't find my pet guinea pigs. Have
you seen them?"
"Drink to me only with thine eyes, Ehud, and I will pledge with mine.
Or leave a kiss within the cup and I'll not ask for wine."
"We've finally settled on a new slogan for my campaign.
How does 'It's the Cheesiest' sound?"
Singing 'Stuck on You', Lionel Richie Activist Tries
to Superglue Himself to UK Prime Minister