Saturday, December 26, 2015

The Evolution of Two-Face

1995

2008

2015
New Ted Cruz Hybrid for 2016 Promises to Occupy a 
Special Niche in Presidential Campaign History
Kurt Russell Sez:  Kurt Russell Sez: "I believe in limited 
Constitutional government, free market capitalism, and 
my obstreperous moustache."
"You rang, sir?"
Too much plot tended to get in the way of the story 
aboard the Narrative Ark.
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #76
Brett Colvin
"Yo!"
If he were a motion picture, Mike Huckabee
would be The Creeping Terror, arguably the 
cheesiest movie ever made.
Vladimir Putin, Czar of All the Man Boobs

Friday, December 25, 2015

Goat Doofuscating

Trump Doofuscating
Remember when Dan Quayle, then Vice President 
of the United States, went after Murphy Brown, 
a fictional character in a TV show, for being an 
unwed mother?  One wonders what Mr. Quayle 
thinks of Bristol Palin, now an unwed mother for 
the second time, when she says, “My sweet Sailor 
Grace was born yesterday, our family couldn't 
be more complete.”
Fearguth Celebrates the Christmas Holiday
with Bildungblog Post No. 30,193
"Do you have a nativity scene?"
"Can't remember. Too young at the time."

Thursday, December 24, 2015

"Honey, the nail tech is here for your pedicure."
Oh No, Not Again!
Bananarama (1979)

Bananarama (2015)
General Curtis LeMay Lights a Celebratory
Cigar After Putting Major Cities in China,
Russia, and Europe on Nuclear Targets List
Yes, Virginia, there really is a Donald Trump.
The reason predictions of Trump's demise have been
wrong 13 times is because nobody could imagine just 
how depraved millions of GOPers are.
Jeb Bush says the problem with the Confederate
flag is not the Confederacy; it's those blue bars
against a red background which give him the
howling fantods.
Detainees in the GWOC (Great War on Christmas) 
Internment Camp are expected to be liberated on
December 26.
The only ways Obama could 'reach out to angry whites' 
would be to either a) become a billionaire neurosurgeon 
with a whiny voice or b) self-deport to another galaxy.
The Part of Jesus's Nativity Story 
They Usually Leave Out
New Law Makes It Easier for More Mentally-Ill Georgians 
to Buy Guns
Darwin's Finches Facing Extinction, Paying the 
Price for Believing in Evolution
Deadly 'Springlike' Climate Change Hoax Sweeps
Through Mississippi

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

"I learned everything I know about hair styling 
from Donald Trump."
"Cthulhu, we're home!"
"What's up with him?"
"Oh, he's a GOPer who tried to put out
the Trump Brushfire with Cruz Gasoline."
Bryan Caplan Sez:  "Follow MY bliss!"
After Adelson bought the Vegas paper, fish wrappers 
and bird-cage liners refused to use it.
New Trump Campaign Songbook
To become a member of the Church of Flaming Orifices you 
must swallow a pair of Trump's 'Pants on Fire' whole.
Sure, 75% of what Donald Trump says is false, but he's 
smart enough to know that's the part that appeals the 
most to the Republican base.
"Believe me, I only look like a Conehead with hair."
Not long ago, what is now vilified as Political Correctness 
by Ted Cruz and his ilk was called Common Decency.
Mock not Tailgunner Ted's use of his daughters as
human shills, lest ye be Cruzified.
Sultan of Brunei Throws Monkey Grinch into Christmas
Adam Shafi hated gay marriage so much he tried to
join an Al-Qaida affiliate.  Now in custody, he will soon
learn that in prison, like Heaven, there is no marriage
nor giving in marriage.
Satan Benches Oklahoma Man for Being Obvious
Man Opens Fireplace, Finds Century-Old Santa
What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #29
An Isis Beamer
The favorite Yiddish word used BY Trump is 'schlong'.  
The favorite Yiddish word used FOR Trump is 'schmuck'.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Donald Trump's New Campaign Biography
Hits the Shelves in Time for Christmas
Allegories for Our Time #36
Trump and Cruz Contend for the Soul of the GOP
It's so warm this Christmas season, Santa will be 
wearing a Speedo.